A little about me

[innerchild09]

I decided to post a little about me and my family. 1st of all I have anxiety. I have phobias and social fears. I freak out when I have to talk on the phone. I'm on meds for anxiety allthough I take it everyday I don't always write it down. All my life I thought I had depression until about two months ago when I was diagnosised with bipolar disorder. I don't have any friends in real life. My family and I are on the outs. The only person I have is my Mom. We live together but we tend to argue a lot. I admit sometimes I start it but not always. She has mental problems too at 1st she was told she was paranoid schitzophrania and recently found out she was labled schitzoaffective. We are stuck at home a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone. That's why I came on here to just be able to talk about it without feeling judged by the world. To talk to people who can relate to someone who is like me sorta. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. I don't know why I feel this way and have since I was in my teens. Well anyway you can post something to me or you can talk about you if you want or your life or whatever. I guess that's all for now.

[Jaquta]

That's good that your mood is OK.

I'm feeling a bit sickly.  I think I may have an infection after having my lower wisdom teeth removed the other day.  I also have to collect my father from the airport.  A six plus hour drive.  His plane gets in around midnight.  :(
I'm not sure how much posting I'll be doing in the next short period but I'll try and get on, even if just briefly.  If I don't though I'm either tired and sleeping or sick from the infection.

Take care.

[innerchild09]

I'm glad your not mad. It's just I don't have the best social skills and youre right my self esteem is low. I agree about the medicion thing. Medicion alone isn't enough. They should go to theropy as well. That part I defenitly agree with. And I respect your diffrences in opions. That's fine with me, but I understand what you mean about the medicion. They should see someone as well. And you didn't hurt me. I'm ok now. I was just worried about my own words but I'm glad to see it was ok. I'm in an ok mood today. Just spent most of the day in front of the tv. So anyways I guess that's all for now. I'll type something later.

You take care too.

[Jaquta]

With the d forum a lot perhaps has to do with people just advocating meds when all meds do are manage symptoms.  While I appreciate they have an important role I don't think they should ever be the sole source of treatment.
Perhaps it has more to do with my own treatment too where meds and ect were advocated but not therapy.  It seemed messed up.
A lot of people with depression will other other comorbid conditions.  Anxiety is a very common one.
Some don't just let others talk though but instead insist on ...  I don't even know what exactly it is they're doing or why.
Sometimes it feels that those who think they know everything actually miss the point entirely.  Recovery is different for everyone.  For example, your path will be different to mine even if we did have the same issues and conditions.
People can't just be jammed nicely into little square boxes.
Not offended.  I think you and I probably have kind of similar opinions.  And maybe others do too.  You leave a lot of space for people to offer their opinions and you don't attack them for being different to yours.
I think what I was trying to say is different to what you're understanding (perhaps because of how I'm expressing myself.  It's a bit raw so perhaps it is pre-verbal??).
I live in New Zealand.  Just another day here.
Don't worry.  I seem pretty good at upsetting some people and driving them away too.  I think we're both mature enough to work though any differences we may have.  Trust me, if I don't like something you say I'll ask you about it.
You could fear being judged by others because of low self-esteem.
You have nothing to apologize for or to stress about.  It was me airing all my grievances about the forum which aside from a few people is pretty good.
I hope that you'll be open and honest with me too and let me know if stuff I say is hurtful or insensitive, etc.

I hope you have a good day too.

Mum's on a mission and it looks like we're weeding/ digging the vegetable garden.
At least the weather's good and it will be nice out.

Take care.

[innerchild09]

I see. I read it myself but I think that depression can really be disabling if severe enough. It makes you not want to live and all kinds of terrible thoughts. And maybe you're right that some people on there are just typing but not trying to work on their issues. Who's to say. We don't really know. It's ok to have a difrent opion so I'm glad you told me. I guess I feel diffrently because of how I grew up. Besides some of those people may think they have depression but might really have something else. I was told if your bipolar and I supose it goes for other illnesses as well anti depressants don't work for those problems. And many people get misdiagnosised. Either that or maybe those people just want to type out how they feel just like people with OCD, BPD, bipolar, and schizophranias do. Now there is nothing wrong with your opion. I just don't want to type something stupid that may leave you feeling affended or vanrable or anything. So I hope you don't feel that way. This is just my opion. Anyway hope to talk to you soon. I'm sure you'll probably be busy today since it's thanksgiving. I don't know if you celebrate it or not but I would guess you probably do. So if you do I hope you have a happy thanksgiving and if you don't then just have a good day anyway. And anyway I hope my oppion didn't get you upset. Maybe it's just more worries that I'll say the wrong thing and push someone away. It could be low self esteen related but I do worry about that. So I hope you respond so I won't have to worry that something I said made you not like me.

[Jaquta]

Understandable really.  Touch wood it doesn't happen.
Fighting all the time can leave us feeling exhausted.

Is it boring?  No, I just don't respect some of the positions taken by some of the members.  Also, it can feel a bit morbid.  But that's what depression is I guess.  I also feel that some members like to post as an excuse to not work on or confront their own issues.  I don't think that's healthy.
I guess it is hard for me to accept that that is what some people need for their recovery.
At the moment I would give it a 2/ 10.  It has a lot of traffic though.

[innerchild09]

I think the reason I've been on the computer more is actually because I'm afraid I won't have it much longer. You see I haven't had internet for two years until late September and with the bills going up I don't think we'll be able to keep internet much longer. So maybe I have been obsessing over the internet a bit but come on I just got really into it and I don't want it to be whisked away from me. That is the last thing I need right now. Augh! Even small goals end up in dust. It's just so frustrating. And no I don't mean the internet. And yes I have bad luck. Most of the time I can see mostly bad in my life but a few good things to keep me going, but lately it seems like all that was good has now turned bad. I guess after all of this I just don't have much of a fighter left in me.
Anyway if you don't mind me asking how come you don't like the depression forum? Is it boring or something?