A little about me

[innerchild09]

I decided to post a little about me and my family. 1st of all I have anxiety. I have phobias and social fears. I freak out when I have to talk on the phone. I'm on meds for anxiety allthough I take it everyday I don't always write it down. All my life I thought I had depression until about two months ago when I was diagnosised with bipolar disorder. I don't have any friends in real life. My family and I are on the outs. The only person I have is my Mom. We live together but we tend to argue a lot. I admit sometimes I start it but not always. She has mental problems too at 1st she was told she was paranoid schitzophrania and recently found out she was labled schitzoaffective. We are stuck at home a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone. That's why I came on here to just be able to talk about it without feeling judged by the world. To talk to people who can relate to someone who is like me sorta. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. I don't know why I feel this way and have since I was in my teens. Well anyway you can post something to me or you can talk about you if you want or your life or whatever. I guess that's all for now.

[innerchild09]

Ok. Hopefully you feel up to writing more tomorrow. Do you wonder if any of the other members read our posts? Sometimes I do. I'm ok with that though but like I said it would be great if some commented. Anyway I hope we get to talk tomorrow.

[Jaquta]

I guess some do.  My biggest fear is that they do and then don't care for what they read and then leave.  I think more than anything it leaves me feeling a little vulnerable/ exposed.
I guess that is what I do in my own life, or rather have done.  It is easier to criticize someone for participating and making a mistake than to make your own.  It doesn't really help you to learn or grow though.
When I posted all those other headings I guess I wasn't expecting everyone to comment on all of them all the time.  It seems to have diluted our own discussions somewhat.

[innerchild09]

I agree. I worry too about people leaving. I'd feel pretty bad if that happens and with my luck it could. I already get rejected enough in real life. I don't need it here. I don't know maybe I'm taking this all to personally. I can't help it. That's just how I am. I'll think that I must be boring or lame or sound stupid or something. I'm sure I'll blame myself even if it really isn't my fault. I know I shouldn't feel that way but it would make me feel as I failed or something. That I didn't do a good job with this forum. I shoudn't feel that way. I just get so excited when someone joins. Like maybe this forum ain't so lame after all. Maybe it was a good idea. I was hesitant on creating this forum. I wasn't sure if it would be concidered a good idea or not. I sometimes see forums with only one person the creatator of it sit there alone from months ago and of course I worried that could happen here. But I'll feel somewhat relieved if there is at least one other person on here than just me. But I hope that no one leaves, even if they don't want to talk. It's ok. I mean I hope they do. I'd love to hear from them but if they don't want to it's ok. Maybe some members are shy or have other reasons for not typing. Maybe they want to know more about us. We do tell some personal stuff and I'm sure we both feel exposed sometimes. But hey there is one bright side if I end up looking like a loser I can always get a new screen name. That's the good thing about internet chatting. If you blow it you can always start agian. Maybe someday I'll be up to showing my most personal experiances. After all I did go this far.

[Jaquta]

I think we both are.  I'm really hypersensitive to rejection.
I probably wouldn't continue posting here (although it has it advantages).  I feel a bit too stink to start writing stuff though and not follow through.
I don't think it would be all due to us, just that other people have other interests or get their needs fulfilled elsewhere.
This forum might start seeing a little more activity over Christmas when the experts are away.
That sounds like some other sites where there may only be one person in a chat room.  Quite sad really.  But sometimes people don't even bother to log out and people thinks there's still someone there.
Do you think it would seem a bit strange if the founder disappeared?  Maybe then they would have to give the role to their new user name?
Sometimes I wonder why you started this group as sometimes I think a journal would be as effective.
I need to go do some work.  I was suppose to be helping tidy up the place for when my brother and his g/f come in a couple of days time.  It just hasn't been happening.  I have zero motivation.  Strange really because usually I would care -a lot.
Catch you later.

[innerchild09]

No I don't really think it would be strange if the fonder disapeared. Things happen. Life gets in the way. I hope I don't disapear. As long as I have internet and this forum is still active I won't be going anywhere. I still plan to keep this name. I don't plan on changing it or anything as long as I don't mess it all up. I do have a journal. Maybe I shouldn't have started this group but I thought it would be nice to have one group where anyone is welcome to talk about their issues, get support, advice whatever. I mean there are a lot of great forums out there that have their own lables. There are usually many groups of people in each forum. Like I'll go to Bipolar forum then go to OCD forum then visit schizophrania forum and there are different sets of people on those forums. I thought it would be a nice place for people with different types of mental illness or people who know someone with that could just chat and make friends even. Maybe right now it's not that sucessful. Maybe it never will be. It all started when I was browsing the forums and the groups and didn't see schizoaffective disorder. That is what origally gave me this idea. I mean there's a schizophrania forum which is cool and all. I'm glad they have it but I would feel silly posting about my Mom in that forum because it may be off topic. I just didn't want anyone who has a mental problem weather it be personality disorders, phychotic problems, diagnosised or undiagnosised problem where you think there is something wrong but don't know what it is but you are barely living because you feel so alone and weird you can't stand it, or even if it's something like ADHD or some other problem. Those are some of the things that can be shared here. I just thought it would be nice to just chat and get advice or vent or get suport. I mean we all have different problems that cause different symptoms, but are we really that different. We're all just people who are struggling with illness. Sorry if I went on and on. This wasn't being defensive. I wrote all this out to also remind me why I should keep this group around. So when I get discoraged and start thinking Maybe this was a waste or no one cares or I don't think it will be sucessful anyway so what's the point. So now it's in writing. So when I feel that way I can come back to this post and remember this was worth it. And this is why I did this and why it is so important to me.



Thank you to anyone who is listening.

[amylove21]

I think it's a good idea. You don't want to exclude anyone or anything. So is any type of mental problems included then? Sounds like it. I know I sometimes feel like I stand out. I can feel weird at time. Maybe it just rund in my family. Maybe most of us have undiagnosed problems. Sometimes it seems like we are all losing our minds. Meaning my family. I'm becoming bummed out cuz I think the issues are starting to come out. So I'm upset. One of my relitives is thinking about not coming. So I don't know what's going to happen. Christmas may not turn out so well after all. I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe we should all just forget it and stay home and celebrate with those living with us. It maybe less complicated that way. I just wanted to vent for a bit.
If you like your idea you should go with it. It could become really popular. You never know. I bet there are a lot of people on here that do care even if they aren't writing. I don't think any of them will leave but if they do they'll be missing out cuz this really is a great place to talk and stuff.

I hope you two have a great day.