Okay, wow. That's a story. Sorry you have gotten embroiled in this whole thing. You sound like a really sweet and sincere girl!
Red flags everywhere. I think if I were having an online romance with someone (texting and phone calls included . . . meaning it was all over phone and internet, and not where we actually dated face to face) and I made the decision to be vulnerable and sleep with someone and they said I was a ****, and looked bad or whatever the stars were for (some words can not be said on this site, they place stars there) . . . I'd be out. No thank you. That is a person with some issues. And the control thing and asking who you are with, very strange. And that you wouldn't be allowed to text other men when you had not committed to each other, just met on a dating site, etc. That is a wild overstep of his desire to control you. No thank you. Can you imagine that getting better? Or would it get worse? It would get worse.
He's an internet predator hon. Ya, he's right back on that website because that is what he does. He has been single for a long time for very good reason. He's not a great catch. He may even be a chameleon changing his story to please those he talks to. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/risky-side-of-online-dating_b_8907058?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmluZy5jb20vc2VhcmNoP3E9ZGFuZ2VycytvZitvbmxpbmUrZGF0aW5nJmZvcm09RURHRUFSJnFzPVBGJmN2aWQ9ZGQxMjYwNWY5ZTg5NGI3N2JhMTEwMDQ5ZDkxY2VjMzcmY2M9VVMmc2V0bGFuZz1lbi1VUyZwbHZhcj0w&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAB9bDKVq0UfmhNVsYSailPctkXa2b0-we8Ws4Q99pO-r8XhVeOQ9uestZ1Qwg07Tao9omUcn_0Sf9B2Ol06FRXxBic3vL9uarU1HqShROh47rpXf_8Jzordr1TTt26dzIpKd0fLZmCeBG-utSlDB_hPZOjExXOGKdhngenxker1F
Long link, but it goes through the dangers of online dating.
I am so glad you changed your travel plans. I would void him.
You are super sweet and very articulate. What about joining some things around where you live in which you can possibly meet some dating prospects?
I think he was more of a fantasy than a reality, and the reality turned out to be a disappointment. Online he could shape himself to whatever you wanted to hear, and even in person it was so brief that he could fake it for a day or two. But he's into stalking someone on the net, and when he "wins" he moves on. You should make it a rule to date only people you meet in person from the first hello. Too easy to be gullible and manipulated, otherwise.