Why are people on here starting to be mean to one another I thought we were all h

[Debbie1054]

I thought we were all here to he one another, just yesterday there were a couple of other people that said they were leaving the site also.  What is going on?  I have only been here for a couple of months and have learned so much about medicine and things.  I am on oxy and am in the process with my doctor's help tappering off.  But I find alot of info on here,  I don't understand why people have to cause problems.  Anyway I just thought I would put my two cents in.   I hope everyone the best...

Debbie

[MJIthewriter]

Ignore the trolls (and report them). Take the helpful posts from the people who do really care.  Unfortunately there are some people who just like to get attention by posting whatever just to get reactions or drive members away. It's like being in middle school or grade school... If someone teases you, you brush it off and ignore them while thinking they must have a problem to think they must put others down to feel good... That's what got me through middle and high school school without being harrassed like I was in elementary school.
--------------------------------
For those who are posting, I copied this from my blog, which was copied from my sig that I used on another forum, one that I had to take a possibly a long term leave from because it got pretty hostile between the members. (this was not on medhelp, but some well known autism website... Let's just say one that doesn't "Speak" for me.)

"Think carefully each time you hit the reply button. Each post puts out a message. You are in control of what message you put out to the world. Will your message be a positive message of hope or a negative one?" ~ MJI

[Mikeinthesouth]

God I hate them damn door knobs. It took me years to become a true drug addict cause thats how long it took me to figure out how to open those damn kiddie proof tops.....  uuuggghhhhh I just hope they dont swithch the threads on those bottles then I will always be in withdrawal. LOL

[Savas]

I'm going to start a "Be Mean To Savas Thread!"

For a Savas is too perplexed to comprehend when others are angry at him. He merely smiles and nods sagely while wondering why door knobs are such tricky things, obviously designed to keep him trapped for hours in a room, vainly attempting to figure;
"How do I work this doorknob so I can get out?!?!"

It will give everyone an opportunity to work out there hostile aggression without any damage being done!

[Mikeinthesouth]

As for the peope who leave here do to this kind of behavior I pray they find their way back and I am quite sure that if the dopehouses did not run them out of those places they will be good here.............

[Mikeinthesouth]

If there is one thing I have learned in the years is don't wear my heart on my sleeve because there will be painful insults, accusations from rumor driven people, and some just might be only comments that I can't take personal. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion even me. I have also seen many times that I am harder on myself than most can be on me so what I am actually thinking regarding myself is nowhere near what others feel about me. So in other words don't sweat the small sh t and just keep your head up we all have something to be proud of............

[sadinmichigan]

well I think it's all been said. I agree that once in awhile there are just people that seem to enjoy strife..and ya know since I have been on this forum (jan) I notice those people fade fast. Also, as Nauty said..not everyone can articulate themselves in writing as others can. We can not hear the emotions/tone in which things are being written, and alot too depends on the posters mood and the one reading it. In the end..if you have a couple bad responses,pm's etc..you really have to weigh those against all the good. And it certainly outweighs it here. I almost feel as if it's an insult to all the good,when someone says they are leaving because of one or two people.

[GoingToMakeIt]

And don't forget to let MedHelp know about it. What if you aren't the only one they are attacking. MedHelp will act on it. We are here to help each other, not hurt.

[marcatj]

it just happens. for a number of reasons.

alot of personalities, sometimes there ARE rotten eggs that come on, sometimes people are very sensitive due to w/d's or use, sometimes it may strike a raw nerve with someone.

i've been here awhile, and all i can tell you is, it will happen, it does happen, and the best thing to do is not engage.  it eventually passes...

:-)
mj

[dominosarah]

just go to the bottom and click on page 2 or whatever you are looking for.  Get out of this post first.  That is how i do it anyways!!!

[SammyTheSnail]

How do you check the recent archives here?

Thanks

[dominosarah]

Or as my mother always said......kill em with kindness!!!!  

Sometimes the person who thinks they have been wronged will also send a real nasty pm and then block you.  All i know is i am here for me and to try and help others.  I take what i need and leave the rest.              

[SammyTheSnail]

I'm going to have to disagree (respectfully) with broknbck's advice on dealing with tactless posters. They're just stirring up the pot, and enjoy coming back to see how much damage they've done.

Ignore them. Don't reply. Don't comment on their posts. Just pretend they're not even here.

Takes all the fun out of it for them, and they'll go disrupt another site. It works.

[triedeverymed]

I don't think anyone is referring to you. You have always been upfront and honest but never mean and nasty. I'll vouch for you on that topic!!

[triedeverymed]

You know it's not usually the posts that make people leave it's the private messages. That"s what happened with one person on here and she's very upset by what was said it wasn't posted for the world to see, they were to chicken for that so they sent a PM.
I think you have to be careful not to let people get to you, it can be upsetting, you feel like they are insulting you in your own space, you know??

[Mangee]

The fact that our personalities differ is no reason to take offense at what has been or is being said. We cannot always be right just as we cannot always be wrong. The fact that you may believe that the other person is wrong does not mean that you are right either. Too often we leap before we realize that the other person may have a point. I may not like what you are sayng or vice versa but each of us has a right to express our opinions providing there is no malicious intent. Disagreement is how we learn what someone else thinks, and to find fault with any person expessing their vews with no evil intent, shows a lack of understanding and patience. I may disagree with something that is said but that does not give me the right to spit venom at them. It is better if I explain my view just as you do and perhaps what might be a verbal battle would instead become an intelligent conversation between two opposites. There is nothing wrong with debating the pros and cons of any subject in an honest and upright manner. People on all the forums here at MedHelp are here to asking questions because they are looking for help and are also here to lend a helping hand where needed. To verbally abuse anyone anywhere on Med Help who is suffering one way or another, can seriously jeopardize there attempts to heal. If you are not here to help and you are not here to be helped or are not here to bring some relief in some way then you are in the wrong site.

[NautyOne]

I swear it wasn't Me !!!   .....really....:-))  Addicts and addiction is not all rainbows and fluffy clouds......I have had my face on many dart boards out here, but that is not going to stop me from speaking my mind.  If I think you are full of Cra @ap I'm going to tell you.  If I feel you are bullchitting me ......I'm going to call you on it......Its not my intention to hurt anyone and sometimes font before I think, but if thats a crime, then throw away the key.  I am not the most gifted speaker which sometimes gets taken as I am being a trouble maker, for those who know me.....know this, for those who don't ......well, it can get me in trouble........Some people are just down right a$$es, and, yes, I can be one.....but, my intentions are 99.9999999 % good, because I am not perfect, but I am not the only person with hoof-in-mouth disease.  Plenty have it, so take that into consideration.  Someone out here made a really good analogy, only problem is.....if forgot it.......lol.  her point was......Sometimes when we don't hear what we want to hear......or if it strikes a nerve. Rather than get angry at the person.....check yourself.....not you, but you know what I mean....I am getting tired and rambling, but I feel that anyone who whines about leaving is just looking for attention.......If your going to leave, just leave.......otherwise express yourself....get it out, and don't threaten to leave, so others will beg you to stay.........thats kind of pathetic, and I do have to admit I have been guilty of playing that game a few times....thats how I know I need to be here....lol.  Ya'll know what I am talking about.

I betta go before the rope drops.........I am very sleepy, and that can be dangerous.....its not a DUI......Its called a TUI.......TypingUnder the Influence.......weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......thats a felony of a different kind..........ahhhhhhahahhha.......I gotztogo.............weeeeeeeeeeeeee

nite all,
nauty...................weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Mikeinthesouth]

There will always be that one bad apple but in the words of axle rose dont let the one bad apple spoil the whole dam n bunch.

[cattalina]

broknbck makes a very good point, and I posted something like this on a different thread.  We're all humans with emotions who say things we don't mean at times.  (I know I'm guilty of that!)  But we make mistakes to learn from them, that's how we grow as people.  We're all here to better ourselves and the only way to do that is to learn from our experiences.  This is real life, real people, real feelings - right or wrong, even online.  The best we can do is learn and grow from all of our encounters.  :)

[triedeverymed]

You are right about this site being a Godsend. It's the best one out there. We can learn from disagreements as long as there is no personal attack involved. Use the power of block when needed and keep on learning!!

[broknbck]

well i do not know what posts exactly that everyone is referring to . but-

this is just another thing that makes this- a forum - such a cool thing.

you are free to say what ever is on your mind. and sure once you have thrown it out there is up for comments. now sometimes this can be good or bad.
if someone has made an offensive or hurtful comment - well then we should tell them. they can learn from the responses and i am sure that anyone on here is either giving or looking for help only. we can only learn from everything we talk about. and that is always a good thing. if someone needs to be knocked off their pedestal- than so be it. But lets all be mature enough to at least  agree to disagree at times.
Hey that is what the real world is like. and you cannot always just run away. "escaping reality"  
sound familiar?ha
so it is also important to let that offensive or hurtful commentor know exactly how they have made you feel.

[cocobeanlisa]

I agree, this site has been a Godsend for me..........

There have been times when we disagreed, but we shared
our feelings with respect and agreed to disagree.
And I have learned a lot by disagreeing with others,
when/if I stop to listen to them.
I do not think personal insult is ever called for, and I try
to treat others the way I want to be treated.

That said, sorry if I caused any upset, I was just really hurt.

coco
coco

[triedeverymed]

I'm so glad you didn't leave for good. There are a lot of unhappy people here, and they are usually on all the time. I agree it's not worth the time replying to nasty PM"s. Someday the trouble maker will be seen for who they are and they will get there's 10 fold. It always happens that way, they'll end up banned.

[LONESOME]

I feel the same way that is why I'm not around much anymore but I have to say that you just have to ignore the ppl that are just not happy and stay because you will find a lot of good info here.

Oh and if you see negative comments going on just move on don't even waist you time posting back.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

It is kind of a high school type thing......don't need it here ....... but Med Help is (from my experience) still the best forum of his type on the Net.................................