All DOWN THE DRAIN... I NEED SARA!!!!

[dedicatedtostop]

So the chiro said he didn't think it was a good idea to see me following what the ER doc said. Since I just moved and can't see my dr till next week... I. Broke down and went to a new dr in my new city this am. I told him everything!!!!!!!! He was probably the kindest hearted dr I ever met. He basically said I need another MRI. Can't do that now since I don't have insurance. He wrote a script for more pain meds( knowing everything) and told me that we needed to get through this and we would work from there. He told me that he would be by my side and do all he could to help me get off the pain meds(if need be) but right now he said I was putting myself through misery and nobody deserved that.I cried   and cried and cried and I am still crying now. I feel so hopeless.... Everything down the drain. I hate my freaking life right now so bad!!!!!!!!!!! Hubby has the ******* pills

[dominosarah]

Take a deep breath........You cant sit there and be in so much pain.  That isnt good for you both mentally or physically.  Your doctor is on board with you and your hubby has the pills.  You are not throwing everything down the drain my dear, you have an injury.  This is NOT hopeless, you need to get on top of your pain cuz right now the pain is consuming you and that isnt good.  Dry your tears my friend, we will help you get thru this.  I am here so keep talking~~~~

[Dane74]

Unfortunately you got a bum break here and you have to deal with your health first.  So you are doing all you can do.  Going to docs etc, having hubby have the pills is fabulous, ONLY take as prescribed lets get this back of yours fixed up in know time.  ICE ICE, it does help.  Im sure Sara will be here soon to tell you, "Keep your guard up"  OH man is that girl right!!!!!  What are they telling you is wrong?  Or do they not know because there was no MRI?  So sorry you are going through all of this, stay strong and keep up that amazing will power you have:)

[littlebit010101]

How do u know what's wrong?....u got to find out....I mean u don't know what's wrong that would drive me insane...u have to find out or just wait and c what happens which I don't like I want to know what's wrong with me....good luck....hate this is happening...but find someone to help the problem not just write....u know....Leo posting and maybe u can find out what's going on...compressed fracture?....somebody would f*****ING tell me what's wrong or I wouldn't leave...just saying...

[dedicatedtostop]

The dr today agreed with the ER Doc that is a "possible" compression on the herniated disc based on the xray that was done. He said NO fracture I need to get a new MRI, haven't had one since the disc were herniated 4 years ago.... Whatever the hell that's suppose to mean.  But I can't do it till I get insurance. I swear I will only take those damn pills every 4 hours, but I HATE it!!!!!!!!!! This is in my opinion, all down the drain... Worked so hard for nothing, just to end up worse than I already was. I am trying to convince myself that this is all temporary and it is what I make it!!!! I cried and cried to Hubby... I don't want to be a drug addict.. He says you don't have to be, just be smart!!! Really, is that possible?? Can I?? Guys I don't even know what else to say anymore:(

[dominosarah]

This is temporary, you will get to the bottom of this and will feel better.  Why do you feel you worked so hard for nothing?   Your addiction didnt cause your back to be bad.  You ARE being smart now, you told the doctor and your husband is control of the pills.  Sounds to me like you are doing the right thing here.   You are not abusing the meds, you have an injury and that is what they were designed for.  You are still in recovery and will continue to stay in recovery, have some faith.  

Do they have any programs that will help pay for an MRI where you are at?

[dedicatedtostop]

I needed to hear exactly that!!!!! Idk about any programs, I was hurting so bad I didn't think to ask. I will be getting on that!! I needed to hear all that from YOU, that I am still in recovery, that I am doing the right thing here. I just can't imagine being back to where I was, or going through it all over again, i just can't!! And I can't believe this is even happening

[dominosarah]

You wont be back to where you were if you continue to stay in your recovery.  We have choices and you are making the right ones now.  That is progress girl!  Now dry those tears, take some deep breaths and rest your mind.  You are overwhelming yourself with what ifs....If you felt better you could help clean the litter box!

[dedicatedtostop]

I don't know what I would do without your reassurance:).. Really. Your right, I will stay focused and I will do this the right way. One day at a time. Sigh....

And, I don't do the litter box, never have never will.... That's hubby's job:)

Still in bed with ice, perhaps I néed to wonder medhelp post and try to be as big an impact on someones life as you are mine!

[dominosarah]

I am just a toddler in this thing we call life.  I feel i have graduated to the pull up stage!!  You have an impact on my life also so dont sell yourself short.  This is "WE" thing~~~sara

[mellie4]

I feel so bad for you!!!!  But you ARE doing the right thing.  No one can live with bad pain.  For some it's temporary, for other's it long-term; but you won't know where you are until you get your MRI.  Hopefully the meds, ice, and rest will quiet things down a bit.  Are you taking any ibuprofen?  You're probably aware that it helps swelling but also helps the painkillers work better, which means you can sometimes stretch things out (though probably not with an acute injury or flare-up.)

Do what you need to do.  You've put precautions in place.  When the time comes, your doctor will help you taper off safely and more easily.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  Rest and take care of yourself!!!

[dedicatedtostop]

Sigh...... Thanks all for being so incredibly supportive. I won't be leaving this forum.. EVER!!!.... Another sigh.....

@Sara, your too funny LOL, where would I be without you:) I guess at this point all I can do is push through this injury and be the support others on this forum are looking for

[Innerstrength67]

dedicated as long as hubby has your pills. You will be fine. You can't be in pain and function. You are taking your medicine as prescribed just like a diabetic would take insulin. Your not going to abuse it because you are not the same person you used to be. We must remember how far we have come. Yes, people fall off the wagon but as long as you take your meds, as prescribed than you will be fine.
Hope that helps. I'm still in diapers myself..lol

[Ashelen]

Sara, that means you're out of diapers? yipee!!!

dedicatedtostop: just wanted to drop by and lend you some support...you're doing everything the way you're supposed to...don't be so hard on yourself. <3

[Innerstrength67]

Dedicated, as long as your hubby holds your pills and you take them as prescribed you will be fine. Your in pain and need medicine. If you were diabetic you would take insulin. I know it's not  the same thing because of being an addict but you are using the pills the way they intended to be used. You have inner strength!!

[Innerstrength67]

Oops, sorry posted twice because I didn't think the first post went through.

[dominosarah]

I'm a big girl now!!

[dedicatedtostop]

Thank you so much for your support, really I can't express enough how much it means to have you guys have so much faith in me!! Really I can't express it enough!! Now I just have to convince myself of all these things yes, Hubby has the pills and I am taking them exactly as prescribed( they don't seem to help much though) but I will not get off track!!

Perhaps I should begin my walking again?? It made me feel so good

Errr, I am so tired of laying in bed now:(..... It's making me frumpy.

No diapers for me, I guess I am the one to pee all over myself now:)

[dominosarah]

I bet your hair looks marvelous!!

Great, we have another potty pants!!  lol

[dominosarah]

I am heading to work now and will check on you when i get home at midnight.  I'm sure i will be whining about my heel!   Lay low and keep resting......hugs, sara

[vicki595]

It sounds like you met the perfect doctor!

This reminds me of a very sad story:  A young guy was having some serious tooth pain. He saw the dentist ,was told he had a bad infection, needed to get the tooth pulled,and was given two prescriptions;a pain med and an antibiotic.
He didn't have insurance or enough cash to get both so he got the pain med.  He died from the infection.

This crap shouldn't happen in America!
You should have insurance or an ability to pay for a test as important as this!  I'm not naive but I don't understand it!  

So what's the plan now?   Oh and do you know if you call and tell the folks at the MRI center that you don't have insurance they'll tell you what the "cash" price is...and it's a lot less...

Good luck...

[ImDONENoMore]

And also - think about how many times you've said the pills aren't helping - so why are you still taking them?

I mean no harm or judgment - just trying to get you to hear your words a little bit.  You CAN do this dedicted.  And NO exercise for a while - your injury needs to heal!

[mellie4]

Thing is, they MAY be helping but you won't know until you don't take it and the pain gets worse.  You're sort of in an acute place right now and you need to get through this.  Ice???  Is that helping?  I know this goes against EVERYTHING everyone says but ice never helps my pain (either my back or my hand;) heat works best for my pain ... so after the 48 hours of ice, maybe try those ThermaCare heating back patches.  I LOVE them.  Do pillows under your knees help at all?  And I  (as usual) agree with EVERYTHING Vicki says!!!!

[dedicatedtostop]

Ouch!!! That may have stung a bit guys:(... You know I am just at a freaking loss right now and I don't know what to say or do or what's right or wrong anymore,  I just don't!!! I would never wish this experience on ANYONE. I feel like I am doing all I can given the situation.

@ Mellie..I am doing ice, seems to help a little, I did heat for the first day. I really thought I would wake up and be better today but it just wasn't so, I have been in bed for nearly 3 days now.

The cash price on the MRI is a grand, and unfourtantly I don't have that right now. I will see my old dr Monday to discuss all this with him and pray that he has suggestions on what to do next because right now I don't know!!!!!!! I feel hopeless, stuck, and a huge failure. I have nothing left in me now

I am at this point.. At a loss for words

[vicki595]

Listen...wish what experience? Pain? Back trouble?  I know it hurts but...you won't die from it. Not even close.

Okay...because I like you, I've got a # for you:  888-380-6337

These folks are in your state. They can talk to you about both an MRI and a CT scan. You could probably get a diagnosis just as easily from a CT scan...

Cash cost:

CT- starting @ $270.00
                                          Without contrast
MRI-       "       $435.00

Please understand, to me anyway, this is NOT about stupid pills. It's all about the fix!!  Okay?

What I'm not understanding is all this guilt and shame and you certainly don't need to explain anything to ME!!   I just don't know why you feel like such a failure!!   But, that's just me...  And I don't understand why you're seeing the old doctor on Monday when you love this new guy so much...

I wish you well...this will, of course, pass.