wife left/worried

[finsfan4ever]

Not sure its a question but here goes....
I came to this web site three years ago with a terrible hydrocodone addiction, and after 12 long days of withdrawls, and working hard at it, I am 3 years clean. I have been happily married for twenty years (last month), and I did say happily!
I came home from work yesterday, and she was gone. All of her stuff and about $90,000 from our savings account.
I am devistated. We never argued, fought, nothing. We had made love the night before, and discussed vacation plans in the hot tub that morning. Now shes gone! Turned off her phone and just gone.....
I am concerned about my sobriety. Went to a meeting this morning, and I think it helped.
I'm not sure if I just want to know "why", or if something else is going on....
Everyone here has always had my back, and I credit them every day for saving my life 3 years ago.....
Please help me..................

[finsfan4ever]

Hi Lulu,
i dont think it could get much quieter :(
im miserable this is so hard

[lulu747]

Hey Fin-

Lu checkin' in.  Is all quiet on the home front?  Too quiet perhaps?  How goes the yoga/counselling/soul searching/human connection?
Love to you my friend
Lu

[finsfan4ever]

Lady Di,
Thank you for taking time to see how I am. You have a big heart!
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, I can't tell you how good it makes me feel,especially at a time when I am struggling to feel anything. I'm sorry you had to read that rambling mess of posts by me, most of which I am embarrassed of.
That's not who I am usually. But right now, I don't know who I am.....
I haven't heard from her, and don't expect to, and if I'm honest with myself, I don't want to. She has hurt me deeply, and has hurt my daughter as well. I have some blame in this, and I KNOW that. And I know you don't know me, but I WAS a good husband and father. For twenty years my only focus was that they both were happy. We argued on occasion, but I believe every one does, and NEVER physical, never threatening, or demeaning. I worshiped her, and I guess that's what hurts so much. If she would have said ANYTHING, I would have listened, and changed things... I never even got the chance....
I am struggling to see how this happened for a reason, maybe someday.
LOL, I am ok financially, and it was extremely kind of you to worry about me.
I don't feel anywhere close to amazing, but I am a good dad...
And no, you don't hurt my feelings by saying you think she is stupid, lol when you get to the things I have been calling her, I'll let you know!
My daughter knew nothing, and still hasn't heard from her since the first night. I am ANGRY at that too! She is absolutely amazing, and I LOVE her with all my heart.
I wish I knew you too, you sound like such a kind, caring lady, and if your family is anything like you, it would be an honor to meet you all. Maybe someday when you come down to Lauderdale for a visit, we could do just that!
I am sorry for your loss of your brother, that had to be very painful for you.
I too started pain pills after back surgery and it took me six years to realize that there was no end game. three turned into six then ten. You are in the right place if you want help to break free of them. The people here are amazing, and I know I sound like a broken record, but they saved my life. And I will love them forever. Please stay in touch, I could use a new friend!
And I can always use the hugs!!!
                                                HUGS BACK
                                                                          Fin

[Chefs]

Lol.  Okay.  Your doing better financially than I am.  I read the first post and have cried thru most of them.  My heart just breaks for you.  You seem like an amazing man, father and husband.  I'm sure your not perfect but who is!  Sorry but your wife sounds stupid.  Hope that doesn't offend you.  Your daughter will be okay.  You guys seem to have a strong bond.  From a child of divorce, I hope she did not know the plans that your wife had.  It would have tormented her.  That's a heavy burden.  I am very new to this website but have peeked in over the last several year since trying to get help for my younger brother who has sense passed away and also being prescribed pain meds after back surgery.  I wish I knew you and could hook you up with my awesomely wonderful family that live in Jacksonville and  Fort Lauderdale .
  I am and will continue to pray for you.
:-) hugs.

[Chefs]

Fin,
I was wondering when I would see you say that it was not all you.  You can't change her or control her but she took off rather than talk to you about her fears and concerns.  It takes two.  And while you soul search and do all you can to change the things you can.  It's okay to be a little angry about what she did.  It was really kinda crappy.  I don't know, I just feel like you might need to know that it's okay to be angry.  Get it out of the way so it doesn't get smushed down where it doesn't belong.  It's okay to mourn and whine.  Just don't stay there.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward.  God is good.  I'm not so sure that all things happen for a reason.(just my opinion)  But I am sure that God can make a really sucky situation and turn it into something good.  
Hugs to you Fin.

[Chefs]

Oh my gosh.....I am no longer feeling sorry for myself.  I am so sorry for what you are going thru?  Did she leave you broke?  Are you not eating because you have no way to purchase?  I know this is a dangerous thing to do but just want to know if you need help.  I am in no way rich, but can help a little. You have to take care of yourself.  Have you heard from her yet?  Just know that I'm praying for you as are others.

Lady di