**** dude this is never going to end.

[bellla]

so my bf just called and hes getting **** soon.. he says he wants to make me feel better but one part of me say yes omg yes thats exactly what i need but the other part of me is saying no wtf no why would you do that! i dont know what to do i want to feel better but that just means this will happen again and ill feel like **** once more and have to start my detox all over again. hes my bf and i love him so much but we both have problems we both are addicted to oc and we both want to stop...adleast i think he wants to like i do idk i want us to be better but everything around us just makes it worse our friends our problems oxy just fixes it all. no but it cant fix anthing in realitly i feel so dumb because a month ago i could go three or more days without oxy and feel fine but i kept doing it and now i need it when i wake up and go to sleep all the ******* time and if i dont have it i get sick worse than sick its hell i would never wish this opone anyone. and the only one i can blame is myself because nobody made me do it nobody shoved the drugs down my throat i wanted them i did it, it was all me so i feel like i have to get out of it myself but its so hard...should i do what my bf has and wait to detox another time wait and tell my parents so they can help me and take me to a real treatment center or can i do it on my own right here right now? idk i need advice..no one understands me, my best friend doesnt understand me what did i do to myself. sorry im going on and on. im just so mad at myself.

[sadinmichigan]

as everyone else has said..you made the first step by admitting your problem and like newmanagment said..you OWN it..thats good. Now, how many days into detox are you right now? think of the GOOD things about being done with those damn little pills for good. They will no longer control your life and you won't have to worry anymore or go through w/ds either. It's a viscous cycle and one that starts to spin faster and faster out of control and before you know it..you become a person that you don't even recognize anymore..the line that you didn't think you would ever cross will long since be crossed before you even know it. This is a struggle for sure but it is one that is worth the fight and you will be better for it in everway. I know it is going to be hard being with a boyfriend that is still using. My husband is an addict and i think it majes me stayinf off drugs 10 times harder but then I also think at times it makes me hate the drugs all the more because I am remeinded of what it's done to him and he goes through w/ds ever 3 weeks..it's horrible..so, think long and hard about the very temporary fix that pill might give you today..and then think of the hell it will keep giving you after the 4 hrs..that it wears off..be strong and KNOW that you can do this..it's all in your hands. I would tell your boyfriend that if he loves you..he will not offer you drugs anymore..that you want to stop..and he may want you to feel better but he obviously is not ready himself to take on the challenge. If you get clean..then what about him..misery loves company..I hope he will stop too..take care.

[merrymaria]

please stop now while you are ahead of the game.  i was a very heavy user of opiates since 2005.  it only gets worse..you need more just to feel normal.   no more high..just misery..please stop..don t let this go into years like i did.  you are so young and you can overcome this...it s just a few days of feeling like dirt..but then you feel so wonderful.  i hope you just say no..good liuck to ya...maria

[sunshinedaydream3]

im kinda been n ur spot
i hope u chose not to use, but either way make this a home whenever u get on internet...

let me know if u need anything,  ima come clean with my folks tomorrow night about erything been goin on

let me know if u need anything, im hope'n u are safe right now

[Shelwoy]

You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to stay clean, and until you are- there will be problems.There were a few times in my life I loved someone and they introduced me to the needle.All I wanted was to be close to them, and I thought if we got high together, it would bond us somehow.Crazy addict thinking.
I know you love your boyfriend, but you have to love yourself first, you know you are in a hell of a mess, and it only gets worse from here.There will never be enough pills for you, and it will bring you so far down.GET HELP!

[enemy48]

Alright, first congrats on admitting your problem.  That was hard for me too.

Second, do you plan to stop while the boyfriend still does pills?  Can I please tell you that your sobriety will never work that way with you getting upset with me?

Sure do the pills if you want to put your body & mind what it's been through another time....because the pills are there.  

I think that if you're questioning this, you're not really ready.  But when you are, we're here......and here even though you may not be too!

Best Wishes,
Enemy48

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

You sound like a fine young women. And i think you already know the answer to your question. You are the only one that can make this decision. And I have seen this movie all around the world. The one constant is that the user never wins. You may chose to have the pills control you for a while longer. If so - you will use more and more to get less and less of a buzz - until you just take them to feel "normal" again. And you will become violently ill when you dont have them. Or you may have a deal that doesnt go down as pictured and you will find out what a jail is like from the inside. And there is of course the chance for an overdose. And death. Dont roll your eyes now. I am a moderately intelligent middle class kid that ended up in the ER twice on life support from pill mistakes. It can happen. So, the players are on the field. Let the fates spin.....and make the right choice  ------   eagle

[newmanagment]

sounds like you are on the right road. YOU own your addiction, like me. we both realize we CHOSE to use drugs. You are detoxing now, and if ya use ur right , it will just start all over. Its a vicous cycle, but one you can avoid. Do you think ya need ya folks to inpatient ya? Or do ya think if ya just say no to the ol man , and keep focused on the detox, you will be one step closer to your goal.... not to mention insteada feelin like ****, you will be very proud of yourself for overcoming your first obstacle. trust me, there will be more obstacles, but deal wit dem when they come!! right now, ya gotta make a choice. will you CHOOSE to use, and start all ova again. or will you continue on ya journey to be the person ya wanna be.... its up to u, but from readin ya post, i hope ya make the right one