So, last night, I picked up my 4 year key tag at my N/A meeting here with my homegroup. My sponsor was there, my husband was there, some of my kids came as well. The difference is night and day from where I was at just 4 years ago.
When I read through some of the posts I realize there's a commen theme. We are scared after a couple of days into our withdrawal's that we are going to stay like that. My brain was a wet noodle for months after getting clean and I was really scared because it had been so long since I'd not had some type of substance in my body controlling me, that I forgot what normal felt like. I LITERALLY forgot!!!??? Giving myself a break and some time was definetly necessary to get to where I am today. I was told early on.....you have to be ok with not being ok for a little while. If you do the necessary work to get clean and stay clean you head, energy, motivation, health, everything will come back online....it won't happen in 3 days, 1 week, 1 month.....it takes time and you have to take it!
4 years ago yesterday I came on this site desperate, sick as SHITTTT!!!, fearful, crazy, and asked for help. The people on this site helped walk me through my withdrawal process until I was able to get into recovery. For this....I am forever grateful. I love you people more than you will ever know.......My name is Melissa, I am a wife, mother, small business owner, and an addict. Yesterday....I made 4 years clean! It can be done.