22 year old daughter Oxy addict Advice!

[Kaleysdad]

Folks, I am scared beyond words here!

Hi, I am new here and need some advice regarding my 22 year old daughter's addiction to Oxy Contin.

This is kind of a long story, but I will keep it short. I divorced from my x wife in 1990 and my own selfish bouts
with drugs and alcohol kept me away from my 2 kids for most of their growing years.  My mom passed away in 2000 from cancer and that was the last time I saw my kids.  I recently found my daughter on Facebook and to my delight she accepted my friend request. That was end of February 2010.  I left my phone number in a message on her FB page and she called me on the 25th of March.  She told me over the phone that she had been doing drugs, specifically OC and had been snorting it almost every day for near 2 years. She said she confided in me because she knew of my long term past abusing cocaine and marijuana and she felt I could relate to her situation.

I became a Christian about 4 years ago and the taste for drugs was taken out of my mouth.
I am clean and sober for 4 plus years!  I have shared this with her and hope that she will seek the same for herself, but until that happens, I am watching her lose her job, possibly her 5 year old son and ultimately her life!  She wants to get clean, but refuses to go into see a doctor to help her. Shame plays a big part she claims.  She has made 2 appnts and cancelled them both.  She has been picking up suboxone on the street and trying to self medicate to stave off her withdrawals.  I know this can add to the already dangerous situation she is in.  I feel helpless,, I don't want to see my daughter kill herself with this junk!   I need support and advice...  HELP!!

[cleanmom]

How close or far do you live from your daughter? If you can be closer to her all you can do at this point is support and encourage her recovery, but do not become an enabler. That would be the worst. And most of all you must keep stressing to her that she is the mother of a 5 year old child who needs a mother who can get well and not a mother that continues down this path. There really are only two end results to addiction and that is treatment and recovery or eventual death. Usually by accident but death just the same. Her childs life would be destroyed. Maybe she is aware of this and im sure she is dealing with plenty of guilt and shame, which unfortunately addiction feeds off of those feelings. This is something she only going to do when she is completely ready on her own. You might suggest a substand abuse counselor as it is much more one on one that meetings and she and the counselor can focus on her issues and hers alone. Also you may want to suggest this sight to her for anonymous support. Keep posting, we can support you through this as well. I wish you and yours all the best and i will keep you in my prayers. You must know that our Lord and Savior is the only One who truly holds the power to cure this disease. So maybe encourage some church involvement for her. She will find so much support there as well. God Bless.                Luv, Jacky

Oh yes, and if you would like to private message me you can anytime, im on here often and have suffered everything you and your daughter have.  

[refusingbondage]

Hello and welcome.  Sorry to hear of your situation.  Unfortunately you know that until she is ready, it's not going to happen.   All you can do is help her when she is ready.. and TRY to help her even if she is not.  Suboxone might be a good option for her, but getting it off the street is a BAD idea.  Get her to a suboxone doctor -- which is strictly confidential.  Its not shame that is keeping her from the appointments - its her addiction.  When we are ready, really low at our bottom and completely READY, we don't usually care who knows what.. When she realizes its life or death and chooses life, shame means nothing.  Keep pushing the doctor on her.. Keep guiding her in the right direction... take her to an NA meeting.. She doesnt NEED suboxone to get clean, she can do this on her own.. but she will definitely need aftercare - meetings or therapy or both to help her stay clean.. As you know.. gettting through detox is just the very beginning of the journey.. Good luck to you and God bless.