Doing well at 42 days, had therapy today

[ScarrieAnne]

So it seems that I am still feeling extra good, granted I am on the coffee train, but managed a 30 minute power nap. Im still having crazy energy, and doing things I haven't done in a long time, creative wise, but I am not complaining! Just enjoying. I feel happy today, and I haven't been able to say that honestly in quite some time. I feel the most happiness when I am doing, getting things accomplished, checking off lists, etc. The last two days have been super productive, how Im managing this on 3 to 4 hours sleep I have no idea! I don't drink THAT much coffee! Just an extra cup or so, but for once, I am not going to overanalyze my current state, its all good and that's that. So Therapy went well, we talk a lot about the mainstream medical failures and how everything in this world revolves around the fat cats making money. We haven't delved to much into my addiction and any possible underlying mental issues, but I think she is silently evaluating me as we talk. She is teaching me so much about holistic medicine and what we should be eating, and all the problems modern medicine and what our food supply is doing to our bodies. Its like visiting a friend, and since I don't have many of those "true friends" it feels comforting. I hope all of you that may read this are well, know that feeling better is possible, and you are strong enough to get through it, no matter what your DOC is. Peace and Love, Carrie Anne

[ScarrieAnne]

Hi Robin, My first session we talked briefly about my addiction and subxone, but spent the rest of the time talking about holistic ways to heal our bodies/minds. I don't have to pay any money til my 6th session, my insurance is good that way. I like her a lot, its like visiting a friend, but we haven't gotten into too much of my childhood, my addiction or my possible mental disorders (for lack of a better term.)So I will decide if its helping before I have to start paying the copay. Just getting out and talking to someone is helping me right now. I don't know if you know my situation, but Im a stay at home mom, my husband has a very demanding and time consuming job that keeps him gone most of the time, a lot of time he works overnights and I don't see him at all, and my daughter started kindergarten this year. My two closest friends still take suboxone so we don't talk hardly at all anymore, either because its unhealthy on my end, or they don't want to hear about me quitting,  the reason Im telling you this is because I spend soo much time alone. Im not a joiner, I don't let people into my life easily, and its very difficult for me to make new friends. So, in the very least therapy is getting me out of the house and having someone to talk to. I will have to re evaluate changing therapists in the near future, if I am not getting the help I need. I have also been to many psychiatrists and therapists over the years and they have never helped me whatsoever.On a positive note, I like this one, she is smart and easy to talk to. My first session I was sick and also in w/d pretty bad, but she said I seem to be very intelligent and coherent and have it under control. NO I DID'NT, LOL I think I fooled her that I am okay, so I need to address that next week.That is something left over from addiction, the ability to fool Doctors, Addicts are the best liars and manipulators when we want something. Thank you for your advice, I will keep you posted on what happens. X. C.

[NeverAgain127]

Hi honey, you are doing SO well.

Is this a new therapist?  I ask because I've had some of them who have no problem wasting my $$ talking about current issues, and never getting around to MY stuff.   If she keeps up not asking you about your addiction problems, I wouldn't hesitate to tell her "can we talk about how I got here?"  

I know I sound jaded.  My first husband was a shrink, and I spent 27 years in weekly therapy (to deal with my abuse in childhood.)   For almost 3 decades, I must have seen over 2 dozen therapists. All but ONE were, in my humble opinion, useless.   Several were certified nut-cases, on whom I walked out mid-session.  

The guy I stuck with was a pH.D, not a Mid-level (someone with an MSW or Masters in Counseling.)    Just lookin' out for ya, sweetie.

You're doing really well, Carrie...so proud of you!!!

Hugs,
-Robin

[ScarrieAnne]

Good Morning! I wanted to thank you for getting me in touch with Henry, he is extremely well and nice, like you said.I even learned a few things. Its funny you mentioned they now your name at starbucks, mu husband goes every day before work and they know his name and order too. I like the cold double shots you can buy anywhere, in fact I have a mocha waiting for this morning! You know sometimes we just have to do what we have to do to make it through the day! So far so good with me, Im waiting to see if this feeling of wellness is going to last, but that's fear and negative thinking and Im trying to just think about today. I hope you are doing well yourself! XOXO, C,

[motye51]

You sound awesome and your dr sounds pretty damn good too.
BTW....i keep my local Starbucks in business...they know me by car and call our my order before i even speak! Coffee's not illegal (for now)....so poo on it! Im glad to hear you doing better.