Cravings and triggers

[StuckANDscared]

Still tapering...still being MILITANT for the first time in my life.  I find myself feeling so empowered (yet still kinda hopeless...don't think that will change until I am clean for a while) and feeling like a drill sargeant with my pills.  I have been concentrating on the idea that I am the one running things, and "we" (my little devil friends the pills) are doing this MY WAY and MY WAY ONLY.  

One of my questions is: Is it possible to not have "triggers"?  Is it possible that the only thing driving you is really the fact that you love how they make you feel?  I've thought long and hard to discover what my triggers are, and find that the only recurring thing is when I say to myself...I want more.

My other question is: Any tips other than "distraction and exercise" that help peopl with cravings?  I'm struggling alot lately since I tapered more, and find myself spontaneously getting up and dressed for a run.  I run so hard and so fast sometimes, I can't help but picture in my mind a giant yellow 10mg norco with a sweatband and running shoes chasing me...trying to catch me or beat me to the finish line.  (Yeah...you know you just laughed...lol...) n Any tips would help.

I never loved so many nameless/faceless people...but I do.  I'll be needed a ton of near constant support soon here when I jump off completely.  THere's no date yet, cause my doc says a date seems to pressure me into having one last "big dose" to say goodbye...which ends up being continuous big goodbye doses.

[ricart70]

Hi,  I started to feel noticeably better at about 21 or so days.The energy came back a little while after that.
Things are back to normal for the most part.
I was clean for 2.5 years before this last relapse.I believe that my prior clean time helped me greatly during this last w/d because I knew that if I waited it out that I would return to normal.I did not believe that at all the first time I really quit.I was on 150+ mg per day of oxy this time and the last time I was on hydro about 90 mg perday.The initial withdrawal was way more violent this time but after that it was virtually identical to the smaller amount of hydro.

[StuckANDscared]

Thanks to all for their insight and advise.  

ANd ricart - congrats on 90 days!  I would just be in tears thanking the Lord and God above if I wasw at 90 days.  Are things back to normal?  How are you feeling and when did you start to feel "good" (at least part of the time) again?

Love to all!

[vicki595]

Tapering will work nicely BUT you have to do a few things yourself.It's not a miracle when you end up clean and in some kind of control after a taper is finished.

You need to be working on the addiction AND the recovery WHILE you're tapering.  This means seeking out all the support and aftercare you can manage: meetings,groups,physical activities,yoga,meditation,volunteer work,doctor,therapist,councelor,addictionologist,life coach....whatever will work for you; just do it!!

One of the hardest and nearly impossible things you can do is to try to quit while you're still in love with the pills. That "love" is your trigger.

I say this to people all the time:  You have to change the very way you think! Nothing will change until that changes. Along with that it's important to change up all of your routines. Remember: this is an entire life changing event; it's not a new hobby...

With a little work and a little more focus, you'll definitely get there!

[Pricogirl83]

Hello.

When you ask the question about not having triggers, I believe it depends on what you have changed around you. Do you still have the same friends, and if so, do they do pills? Does famly members you have take them? This made it very DIFFICULT for me to NOT have triggers when I had things like this by me. It's hard to change those things, but just hearing the sound of someone getting a pill out of a bottle makes me have a trigger.

I think, "oh, I can have just one more day of this, then i'll be done" NO WAY YOU WON'T!!!!" I agree with RICART70 on the tapering down, you won't be able to stop thinking about them until your completely off. The tapering may help with a less of a withdrawa;, but it's just taking longer to get there.

I can only advise to keep busy to reduce the cravings... when I sit around I think way too much and then I get stuck in a mind set of pills pills pills!!!!!!!!! I HATE PILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any other questions? I hope I helped...

Tonya :)

[IBKleen]

Ricart took the words right out of my mouth and I agree with him. As you go down to lower doses the mental part of this process may kick in big time. It always did for me and I always found a reason not to stick to the taper.

Getting into the car to go shopping can trigger me. Planning a trip of any kind can trigger me. The smell of a match burning still sets off triggers. But my biggest trigger is pain. My brain will try and convince me every time that I need to take something for the pain instead of trying alternatives. As an addict I want instant relief so I automatically think drugs are the answer.

What worked for me was obviously putting the drugs down. The next thing I had to do was find out the reasons behind why I was using and get to the root of the problem. Sure I had pain and that is how I started on the pills but let's face it---I liked them. Why did I like them and how can I learn to live life and deal with the pain without the use of opiates? Those are the things I work on and one day at  a time it is still working for me.

I hope this all works out with your taper and you are soon opiate free. I also hope you consider seeking aftercare to help you STAY off. Getting off is the easy part.

Best of luck and keep posting.

[ricart70]

Hi,  Really while you are still taking them and tapering the drug is still running through your system and this makes it very hard for your mind to stop telling you that you want more.The cravings will lessen greatly once you discontinue the pills and have been completely clean for a few weeks.This is exactly why I couldn't ever taper successfully.This is also why I couldn't take just one after being clean for a while without going right back to where I started.Once the pill is in our systems it changes our thinking.This is a fact.Tapering is a great way to avoid the physical symptoms of withdrawal but the mental part is just unavoidable.
It is great great great that you are exercising like you do.
I hope this helps
  

[StuckANDscared]

Still looking for answers to my question about cravings and triggers.  Thanks for all the support and well wishes, but read my original post, I'm really curious about the things mentioned above.

I'm down to 5/day...spaced evenly with a larger break in mid-day to allow one closer to bed so I can sleep well.  No physical symptoms at all, just the mental stuff about being anxious/depressed/greiving about not taking them anymore soon.

[ricart70]

Great job!  how much are you down to now?

[Sherms13]

Well I already passed the taper part. I am 3 days clean and it's freaking hard.  Yes I did laugh. But energy at all time low. I don't want to get up and take a shower let alone run!!! I am in a strict outpatient rehab and it definately helps. But I can't stop thinking....I really just want one. Oh btw the diarrhea sux.  The not sleeping through the night.  Etc. Good luck I really hope we can get through this.  

[StuckANDscared]

thanks littlebit, how are you doing?

[littlebit010101]

Wow u sound so positive and in control....that is awesome...and yeah I laughed...I love a good laugh...good luck...and u can so do this...