4 year Ethylphenidate withdrawal

[gemsta73]

Hi all, I started drug use due to being prescribed dihydrocodeine for a bad bad after my 3rd child, that was 8years ago, I was made to stop the painkillers after about a year, and due to the struggle and withdrawals my husband got some herbal highs, with went on to be be a continuous use because of the extra energy and basically get up and go that i got from them. This made life so much easier, now for the last 3-4 years ive has been taking ethylphenidate about 28 out 31 days a month, but on the occasion when i can't get any for those 3 days, i feel totally unable to even function, it is a struggle to sit up. And feel so tired that im barely able to get out of bed, even though i can't sleep on these occassions . Anyway ive just run out again and cant get any for only 1 or 2 days so im really wanting to stop but  dont know how long till i might be able to function properly and feel OK, i know ill have withdrawals but how long theyll last worries me, im also agoraphobic and borderline personality disorder so these make more difficulties dealing with routine change etc, and at the moment i spend most of the time on the bathroom floor, which has also become a habit. I cant stand the way things are and the way i am as i know my lack of being around for my children is having an effect on them, im afraid to see my doctor incase he may involve social services or worse, as i couldnt live with doing that to my children on top of everything else.i just want to be the mother they.once had and not miss anymore.time.of them growing up as ive already missed to much. If someone could please offer some advice as to how long withdrawals can be or lessen the effects i would be so grateful.

[BenRosenblatt]

If you love your kids it doesn't matter.

You have a 4 year dependency, not 4 year withdrawal. Stimulants do not have acute withdrawals like opiods and alcohol/benzos (gabagerics) in the same sense of the word.

There is no physical pain, merely psychological longing and fatigue and depression. For stimulants this is generally a far shorter time (a matter of days) IE the crash and fatigue and depression (days) so stop for a good week before you consider my next advice and see how you feel. The psychological cravings will continue, this is true of anything that can be addictive, particularly powerful because dopamine is the brains positive reinforcer.

There is an antidepressant with the EXACT same pharmacological method of action as ethylphenidate - bupropion is it's generic name, or wellbutrin/zyban. As far as antidepressants go it has a very atypical mode of action very similar to psychostimulants. It would certainly help you with fatigue and depression. The fatigue is from down-regulation of acetylcholine and depression from the same effect with dopamine receptors.

Your doctor will not do anything about your kids if you're a responsible adult (not living in the hood with multiple convictions and so on). There is a huge difference between being an addict, and reaching the point where you endanger your children.

Honestly I would ask for wellbutrin without mentioning the ethylphenidate, or if you must say that you had been taking methylphenidate daily that a friend gave you for a week or two. If prescribed wellbutrin ONLY TAKE IF YOU HAVE DISCONTINUE USE OF PSYCHOSTIMULANTS COMPLETELY.

Combining dopamine/norepinephrine re-uptake inhibitors (DNRI as opposed to SSRI) is not a great idea.

[freedomahead]

You still have so much life ahead of you and can be the mom you want to be, everything is subject to change. You gotta make up your mind..Do you want this like really want this to end...journal and write down how much you hate it..and do whatever it takes to  take the days you need away from the drug...kids ,people ..and have a good friend there to hold you back from the drug..you are in a very vulnerable place and I sense in my heart your really crying out and hurting and lost. Praying for you!

[gemsta73]

Hi Pam, sorry I haven't logged in for a while, just seem to be avoiding the inevitable. Things are just the same,but getting very emotional each day due to guilt and missing most of my kids lives, iI just feel hardly able to stand myself for taking this stuff as I know if be different if I wasn't on it, um locked up in the bathroom most of the time. My kids keep getting frustrated asking when I'll be downstairs, and even though I want to so badly its also become a real habit staying in the bathroom so u feel at a right loose end not knowing where to put myself when I'm downstairs so don't staydown that long, and I'm so ashamed of myself. I wish I could go to the doctors but would be frightened as to what he might do regarding my children, also my husband doesn't like the idea of me going as he also takes the ethylphenidate and basically does everything I do so thats 2 of us the kids have locked away anxiously waiting for us, my other thing stopping me is being agoraphobic, but I know if I was guaranteed help in a good way I could get there. I do thing all of this has had quite a strong emotional effect on my children and I'm sure they feel very deprived of attention and the way I used to be, I was always very attentive and nurturing, now I'm so forgetful, sometimes if they've sallen or something they tell me through thekbathroomdoor, and I'll say just wait a minute till I come out, which I never would do a while back I would have seen to them straight away, then by the time I come out of the bathroom I've forgotten all about it till they remind me. My memory is so bad due to the ethylphenidate, I don't know if it'll ever get back to normal. I'm finding it so hard to think about waiting as it feels like my only pleasure at the moment, as I don't do anything else due to being agoraphobic, so the times that I haven't had it I spend in bed, as I feel so I'lland weal iI can barely sit but can't even sleep to just lie there, I really fear quitting as I can't bare just lying there, with all my thoughts and guilt just getting twisted in my mind, and not knowing how long I'll be like that. I've searched and searched on the internet and can hardly find a thing about withdrawals etc, only the odd 1 or 2 posts of people just saying how the withdrawals are certainly no joke, but they don't go into any detail at all.
I'm so at a loss, just know I don't want to be this way, I don't think I'd mind so much if I didn't have kids but they are my life believe it or not, only this drug has such a powerful hold that even the way I am and want to be for my children don't help me stop, I know it has to come from me but I just don't feel strong enough to battle withdrawals or the unknown, and am afraid of my children having to see me in a state if I withdraw, even though sometimes I don't feel they look strangely at me when I'm tensed up and twitching with it, it seems the twitching tends to start ifni either haven't drank enough or haven't slept for a couple of nights, I still can't figure out which it is, or it could even be a combination, it does intensify when I'm really concentrating on doing something , but this is the bit I don't like as the tensness makes my back and neck start to really hurt and ache for days sometimes. I will have another search on the net to see if I can fund anything else. I hope your doing okay Pam and look forward to hearing how your getting on, I know I haven't replied in a while but just knowing you and others are here is the hugest comfort, so thank you so much for that.
Gemma

[CRSeaside]

Hi Gem, lets concern ourselves with the present moment. Bringing guilt into the scene will drain you of your energy. ( you know worrying about how much money you've spent in the past)
  Keep the focus on when you're off the drug, you'll be able to get nice things for the kids.          Now. I need you to google this drug & find out the best way to withdrawal from it. Read everything you can find.
    Then we will come up with a plan. I'm going to taper off Norco & another gal is going to the Dr Tues, to get her taper plan.
   I need you to research this EP & find out if cold turkey withdrawals or a Taper is the best way to quit this drug.
Some depends on your mental health too.  Pamela

[gemsta73]

Thanks so much for your reply, the fact it not a very well known drug is another of my worries.
I did manage to get some more fornow, but still really want to quite. Sometimes it maked me twitchy and my head go to the right side with such tension i end up with such an achy neck. I dont really unerstand this part as sometimes it happens then other times it doesnt, seems to be more when i either dont drink enough or am tired.
I wishi could have time to myself just to stop but i dont have anyone that can look after my children so theres my other dilemma, i dont.want them seeing me in a state. My husband also takes it, so wed both be withdrawing if either of us did, i just wish icould be better, and the money i must have spent which could hsve gone on numerous things the kids have needed, i just canthelp but feel so ashamed of myself. Will just have to see how it goes. Its good to be able totalk about it though. Thanks Pamela

[gemsta73]

Thanks so much for your reply, the fact it not a very well known drug is another of my worries.
I did manage to get some more fornow, but still really want to quite. Sometimes it maked me twitchy and my head go to the right side with such tension i end up with such an achy neck. I dont really unerstand this part as sometimes it happens then other times it doesnt, seems to be more when i either dont drink enough or am tired.
I wishi could have time to myself just to stop but i dont have anyone that can look after my children so theres my other dilemma, i dont.want them seeing me in a state. My husband also takes it, so wed both be withdrawing if either of us did, i just wish icould be better, and the money i must have spent which could hsve gone on numerous things the kids have needed, i just canthelp but feel so ashamed of myself. Will just have to see how it goes. Its good to be able totalk about it though. Thanks Pamela