4 year Ethylphenidate withdrawal

[gemsta73]

Hi all, I started drug use due to being prescribed dihydrocodeine for a bad bad after my 3rd child, that was 8years ago, I was made to stop the painkillers after about a year, and due to the struggle and withdrawals my husband got some herbal highs, with went on to be be a continuous use because of the extra energy and basically get up and go that i got from them. This made life so much easier, now for the last 3-4 years ive has been taking ethylphenidate about 28 out 31 days a month, but on the occasion when i can't get any for those 3 days, i feel totally unable to even function, it is a struggle to sit up. And feel so tired that im barely able to get out of bed, even though i can't sleep on these occassions . Anyway ive just run out again and cant get any for only 1 or 2 days so im really wanting to stop but  dont know how long till i might be able to function properly and feel OK, i know ill have withdrawals but how long theyll last worries me, im also agoraphobic and borderline personality disorder so these make more difficulties dealing with routine change etc, and at the moment i spend most of the time on the bathroom floor, which has also become a habit. I cant stand the way things are and the way i am as i know my lack of being around for my children is having an effect on them, im afraid to see my doctor incase he may involve social services or worse, as i couldnt live with doing that to my children on top of everything else.i just want to be the mother they.once had and not miss anymore.time.of them growing up as ive already missed to much. If someone could please offer some advice as to how long withdrawals can be or lessen the effects i would be so grateful.

[Krissy_123]

Yes I have to agree with Vicki. Your husband doesn't sound like he will be much help! BUT  that doesn't mean you can't do this without him! There is so much help out there,you need to get it. You need to get better! I know you love your babies,but do you think the way they are living right now is right? You say you barely come out of the bathroom. You have to stop being scared and ask for help because ANYTHING is better than what's going on right now. Try an. NA meeting. Or even a AA meeting. You NEED to see a doc though. You're going to lose your precious life!! Please come back and keep posting. We will help you the best we can here,but you have to get outside help! Can I ask,was your husband like this before the drugs? If not and he's changed this much,you must realize you have as well! I don't know how old your kids are,but there's going to be a day they will know what's going on in that bathroom! You don't want that.

[vicki595]

Okay then, I'm imagining you're taking this rectally... Again, this is a disturbing situation.
A huge problem here is your husband; very controlling and sick. Equal to that is the entire situation with your children. If you weren't so ill from using eph, you'd have the judgment to realize what you're doing to the kids!  Show them how important you say they are. Get out of that bathroom! Cook a meal and be with them!  Call your social worker and get a decent plan going and call your family to ask for help. You have to. It's now a life or death decision.

[mlajl]

Im prescribed ritalin. Is this ethylphenidate simalar? I only take what I'm prescribed and no more, but I do come off a week every few months to help me from getting use to it.. I am extremely tired at first.. only a few days.. and that's pretty much it.. but have heard others have a horrid time coming off.. shaking, vomiting, migraines.. Sweating etc.. but it usually doesn't last long about two weeks for them.. one good thing about the absolute misery u suffer from withdrawals, is u will think twice before u use again. Tell ur kids u have the flu.. i told my 15 year old finally why mommy has been sick.. hardest conversation I ever had to have.. my husband has had a nervous breakdown and I'm unable to lean on him for support. So I have kept him unaware of my vicoden addiction.. are any of ur kids old enough to help mommy while she is sick? Maybe ur husband can help u while u are down? I know he struggles to, but he may help u while u detox.. at home. .it's worth asking him.. where there's a will there's a way.. I see ur delemia.. u r on ur own.. so am i.. but I have these people on here to talk to.. and they help tons!!! Ask ur husband to get out of the bathroom and help u detox.. if he chooses to later, u can help him.. it wont be easy.. and it will majorly suck.. but u can do it.. u sound like a good loving mom who managed to get in a mess, just like the rest of us.. we all understand.. we all have the guilt.. but guilt serves no purpose. We all make mistakes.. u are no different from anyone else on this planet.. the jump his hard to take.. the suffering from withdrawals are even worse.. but it is worth it.. I'm feeling much better on day 5 clean.. u will get there.. kids would rather mommy be down a few weeks.. then for years.. u can do this.. we all have been in your shoes.. we birth nations for crying out loud!!! And we do it while we cook, clean and work! We are tough as nails! U Also Sound Like u Need Something for your anxiety.. do what u need to do..  I know the anxiety is the worst. With your agoraphobia and personality disorder it amplifies ur anxiety.. this may be your problem during withdrawals. . I don't have any anxiety problems and the 1st 3 day where truly awful for me.. I cried most of the time.. just keep coming here.. keep seeking the time to quit. But don't just give up.. we rant and whine here alot.. well, i do lol I know what it's like to be married, and all alone.. like I said.. my husband had a nervous breakdown recently. I've watched him the last few months crack apart. I can tell u, u don't want ur kids to watch u fall apart from this drug. It is no fun to watch someone u love fall.. it's extremely stressful and heart wrenching. Do what I need to do sweets..  

  

[gemsta73]

So sorry I didn't get straight back to your posts, I don't come on the forum that often but I have to say I couldn't help but fill up when I read your posts.  I think withdrawal is being made harder because of the fact my husband is on it as well and if I mention withdrawal he starts to change and more or less he won't withdraw unless he decides, also I so much with I could tell my family but the are also more or less out of my live now as my husband won't let them see our children but they do come on birthdays, they've since been told they can come anytime but they never do now so the kids don't even have grandparents really and their relationship is totally ruined as that started about 5 year ago when they didn't come for a whole year as my husband was upset at them about something which I won't go into but nothing regarding the kids so I totally disagreed with this, though because I love him stood by his decision for them not to be allowed to see them. I've tried to change all that round but with no luck, I've said at least if it was the way it used to be with my parents seeing the kids at least that would be a bit of normality back for the kids, but all I get in reply to that is " what's normal?" So he doesn't really see it my way, and because I still don't go out I don't feel I have much say with regards to the kids, and this kills me as they are my life believe it or not, I would literally die for them, that's why the whole situation kills me and I'm basically hiding behind the drug, even though it's ruining my relationship with my kids. I just wish I was guaranteed that if I told my doctor I would get help with it all but when I've talked about telling the doctor before, my husband just talks me out of it, saying this'll happen and that'll happen, he very clever the way he words things.
Krissey_123 I have to say you have really touched me and inspired me so much, thank you so much for your post, it is appreciated so much more than you could know. Thank you
Vicki595 thank you so much for your post, I think I just try to pretend to myself and put to the back of me mind how dangerous it is, which I know is stupid. It's a bit embarrassing the way u take it so I'll just leave it to your imagination but it's because it's so caustic I have to take it this way which is what's causing me medical problems. Thank you so much to both of you for replying to my post, I will definitely keep logging in to check my posts, I'm certainly org inking of withdrawal more and these posts definitely push me further towards it, thank you so much.
Gemma

[vicki595]

This is a disturbing story to read and I'm wondering if you realize how dangerous a situation you're in; along with your husband.  What can we do or say to get you out of this mess? How can we help?

How are you administering eph?   It would help greatly if you stayed in touch-

[Krissy_123]

I'm sad to see you didn't come back after posting! I hope you make the right choice sooner rather than later...