486 days clean but

[butch798]

i am going to surgery on sept 30th.it will be a 5 disc laminoplasty.i fought so hard to get here and now i got to be on drugs again .i am scared of the surgery and they say it is very painfull but how am i going to stop taking the pills after being on them for 6 weeks?i really wanted to see that 500 days but it aint going to happen.will i be able to just stop?last time i went threw withdrawal i didnt eat or sleep for 14 days but that was after 3 years of use.i was so sick .now i am going to be recovering from surgery and then have to stop.will my addicted mind say no keep taken them?i am so scared.

[10356]

Hi Butch.. I'm sorry to read about your surgery and your fear of it, of the meds. I have never had a back surgery so I do not have any idea how painful it will be but I did have my shoulder replaced a year and a half into my recovery.. I had my husband hold onto the meds and dole them out too me, although if I remember right you have no problem with taking too many It was just that you were dependent on them so long right ? If you have no problem with taking too many I think you will be able to get off them ok You will experience some wd but not on the magnitude you did when you first quit At least I would think not.. It is good that your back is being fixed ? I will be sending a prayer that is it successful and it relives you of any pain you are in now.. You can do this Butch ! You have all of us for support your wonderful wife.. One day at a time ok Try not to read too much into the future ok. You do realize Butch that if you take the meds a prescribed that is not counted again your clean time It is when you abuse the meds that you start over.. Congrats on 486 days !! lesa

[VICourageous]

Hi Butch.
This is a sad situation for sure. Just always be safe and give these meds to someone to hand to you..Try to take regular Bayer or whatever in between.
We have a mid-brain and it is the pleasure part of the brain plus the survival part. Once you feed it again it will remember the pleasure from the past and will play the tape back again and again giving you all kinds of excuses to take "Just One More'..Just be safe and try not to take them at all or just here and there. We do have some on here that had to take them too after they had so much time in..Maybe they will chime in with better suggestions.

I do wish you the best and that Everything comes out fine with your Procedure. I will send a Prayer out for you.
Bless

[Ejm7263]

I've had 2 back surgeries. I choose to take lots of medication but surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I thought after the first 10 days. Get moving & please, please, please get physical therapy. Praying for you!!!

[Amandag78]

Congratulations on 486 days : )
Im sorry your having to go through this !!
There is a lot of people who still count their clean time, even when they have to take pain meds after surgery. As long as the meds are being used not abused.
I hope your surgery is a success and you bounce back quickly : )

[tooter212]

I had surgery on my back a month and 2 days ago. I took 1 bottle of pills. I took my last one yesterday. I think you will be okay as long as you take as prescribed, I took even less, that's why they lasted so long. I'm still going to count my time (11 months) it was too hard to get here to have to start over. Just don't take more than your dr. says too and like they said above, try to take otc stuff first. Wishing you the best. God Bess.

[Jinx_777]

you have enough to worry about with just the surgery. please don't unnecessarily worry about the pills you will NEED during recovery.  
you will still count your clean time as many here will agree, as long as you are not abusing them or taking them for the euphoria or when not in pain.

all of us will at some point be in a situation where we will have to take them for a short time.  i don't fear being addicted or going through withdrawal, i fear pain meds not working on me anymore.

rest up, pray, but don't worry about the pills

wishing you luck on your surgery.  it is always scary when they tell you it will be painful.  :(

[butch798]

thank you so much you know how important those days are to me.when i had operations before i used to enjoy that first shot when they wake you up.now i fear it .maybe i am just needing to worry about something other then the fear  of surgery.i got to get to the  point that i am doing it and i will get better thank god it aint something worse.i am just not there yet.with all you loving souls out there i know in 2 weeks i will walk in there  ready.thank you all for your support

[Amandag78]

xoxo

[butch798]

did you really have laminoplasty? your ans is the best i quess maybe because i am just feeling sorry for myselve and looking for sympathy.you gave it to me like it is.the pain and the stress is getting to me .i am going to try to  enjoy every day .i just had such a good time being healthy for a while.i just finished building a house for my son.i was on the bull dozer i couldnt be that bad.but i have been fearing this operation since i started the house and this week he moves in and i then i get my operation.if its only 2 weeks that aint bad.thanks

[clean_in_ks]

Hey Butch...good to see you....and congrats on 486 DAYS!!!

You have been active and clean for a long time PRIOR to this surgery....that will make a HUGE difference in how you fair afterwards.

I had back surgery too.....but had been bedridden for a year and a half awaiting insurance and surgery.  My muscles were atrophied from the inability to walk....and you've been building a house and on a bull dozer!!!!

You'll do REALLY good.....take your post surgery meds as prescribed and don't stay on them any longer than you have too.  If you switch to OTC meds as soon as you can....you'll do GRAND.

"Don't trouble trouble till trouble troubles you"......LOL

[atthebeach]

Hey my friend it's good to see you.
Congratulations on your clean time.
So happy for you that you finished building your son's house.
That is so awesome.
Try not to fear the surgery or having to take the pills.
You know once the surgery is over you will be on the mends.
Take it as it comes.
I will be praying for you,
Debbie

[butch798]

i want to thank all of you for your support.i kind of feel guilty for not being on the board to help other people when i was feeling good.i just left the board and now when i need help i come running back for help.but all of you guys are here for me.that is such a beautiful  thing.i really believe in the power of pray and if on the 30 th all you guys could keep me in your prayers i think it will help a lot.i am blowing this whole thing out of proportion i am going to get better i am going to be out of pain for the first time in 6 years .you guys only have to put up with me for 12 more days and then i will be on the road to drug free and PAIN  free.i said it now all i have to do is believe it.why cant i just believe it?

[Sonrissa]

Hi Butch,  congrats on your 486 days! That is amazing. Please try not to stress too much over this surgery. I had to have surgery on my leg nearly 9 months ago. I had previously been clean from abusing Roxicodone for about a year. Does your doctor know about your addiction? If not, tell him or her. My doctor was aware of my addiction and she was very supportive and kept a very close eye on my pain medication. I did have someone keep my pills and gave them to me only as needed and only as directed. I took them regularly for about 3 months as I recovered, and then I took 1 month to taper down, and then I quit. I did experience about a week of mild withdrawals, but nothing severe. It wasn't a piece of cake, but Definately doable.  You can do this. Keep posting for support. I understand exactly what you are going through. I will keep you in my prayers. All the best!

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 486 days clean!!!    As long as you have a plan in place you will be fine.  Does this doctor know about your addiction?  You can always ask for the minimum number of pills too.  As long as you arent abusing them your clean time will continue.  The pills were actually meant for this type of thing, not the way we abused them.  Hopefully you have some support at home and we are always around here so talk to us.  Wishing you a speedy recovery

[lulu747]

Hey Butch-

I had over 800 days clean when my stage 4 endometriosis came back with a vengeance.  I lived in denial and unbelievable debilitating pain before I finally faced the facts.  My doctor, partner, friends and family were so scared watching me suffer and vomit from the pain.  I almost lost my business before finally succumbing to taking opiates until surgery.  This was in April, and my surgery was to be in June.  Due to unforseen personal issues with my surgeon (two deaths in her family) my surgery was postponed until Oct.8th.  My pain grew immeasurably, as has my dosage of opiates.
I had to sign an opiate contract.
I have my partner be in control of my pills.
By the time I recover I will have been on opiates for nearly 9 months.
It was a tough pill to swallow (pardon the pun) But because I stepped up my support I am confident that I will be able to taper off and hopefully never need another pill again.
It's been a long and hard road, but it is doable.  I realize that all the recovery work I have done has changed my relationship with the pills, but most importantly, with myself.
This is life.  In life things happen.  Sometimes we need to take drugs because it is our only option.
It is about our support systems and our accountability so that we use but not abuse.
Keep your clarity and be gentle with yourself.
Wishing you a successful surgery and a speedy recovery....
Lu

[butch798]

the first thing i tell pain docs and surgeons is i dont want pain meds. i wasnt the abuser in the sense of wanting more i just kept believing i was going to get better from them  as i was getting sicker and sicker.my family support was great but i didnt believe them it took this group to kick the addiction.i am forever grateful.the pouring out of support makes me cry.my family and this group will help me face my reality.the reality is i got to walk like a man .that was on springsteens Tunnel of love album.i consider this group my tunnel of love.thank you all so much.

[10356]

I'm glad so many have came on to reassure you Butch and that IBK had the same surgery This must be somewhat of a relief off your mind.. I also use to look forward to that first relaxing shot before surgery. It is different now Not the same. I do not think you will find it the same either. From what I have read Butch this sounds all very doable especially since you do not have that need to over indulge in your meds !! I'm Happy you came back for the support you needed We will always be here for you ! warmly, lesa

[butch798]

i thought i was the only one who got threw surgery by looking at the good side the dope.i dont have that this time .when i had a surgery and i was on perc they couldnt get me out of pain .they kept shooting me and the nurse told me to say your out of pain or the amount in you is gone kill you.after that it was my mission to get off and now i hope i am like a normal person and will get my pain relief get better and back to drug free and maybe pain free.its just i am so emotional .i am crying then laughing then telling jokes then crying again.the support i am getting is making me cry it shouldnt its beautiful.thanks lesa

[butch798]

got my hair cut for surgery .i got a pineable.i look like hornin mike from the show the count.have a friend come by to go get the hair cut and visit.friends make all the difference.then i send picture to my son in alabama and he sends me back a pic he got the same haircut today without knowing what i was getting or did he know and just do it symphony.or was it just mystical.i dont know but i got think i am ready.i am going to get better .i am not scared i am grateful that someone can help me.i got to move my boy into our house on sat .football on sun. a meeting on monday. and 3 in the morning i leave for hospital for 6 o clock check in.thank everybody for your support.i cant wait to tell you guys i am getting better.

[lulu747]

Wishing you the best in surgery Butch!
11 days for me!
We can be recovery buddies (:
Lu

[butch798]

thank you for your support.sorry to hear you had so much pain.i hope to only be on the stuff for a few weeks but who knows .if pain is bearable i will get off quick .i realize i cant function on them .i want to function i want to get better.the scary part is what if the surgery makes me worse and i need the pills forever.i cant go there but i keep going there.how is 11 days off ?how did the surgery go.i sure hope that 9 months makes you better.i love to have a recovery buddy because together we are stronger .what ever gets in our way we will beat it.one hour at a time one minute at a time one second at a time.

[atthebeach]

Hey my friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Relax, enjoy your weekend. It is understandable to be anxious before
Surgery. Try not to let your fears ruin your weekend.
Cool about you and your son getting the same haircut,
Great minds think alike.
Update us as soon as you can,
Keep the faith,
Prayers and hugs,
Debbie

[petroglyph54]

Hey butch,

I guess you are convinced the surgery is your best option. You seem to be highly functional as far as building houses and running dozer. Have you went thru physical therapy? Just wondering.

Also the reason I fell compelled to post is have you spoke with your dr. or anesthesiologist about using toradol after surgery instead of a narcotic?

Its usually for iv use only but if you are in the hospital for a few days and don't want the narcotics along with tolerance build up that might help you escape a few days?  Good luck