A solution

Question

" There is a solution.  Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.  But we saw that it really worked in others,  and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it.  When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.  We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed."

I like the line "we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it."  It really hits home for me.  It reminds me of being sick and tired of being sick and tired, of wanting this crazy cycle to end, of wanting to be done doing the same thing over and over again to no avail.

I am grateful to have seen addicts just like me who were happy and at peace with their lives.  At first I was jealous because their lives were better mine.  They told me to hang in there and keep coming.  There was something about them I liked so I kept coming.  I heard stories of what they were like and how they recovered.  Soon I found myself working the steps.  I looked inside myself and found resentments and defects.  All of which I listed on paper.  I confessed to another human being my shortcomings.  I was unloading lifelong burdens and the compulsion to use was removed.

Although it isn't often, there are still days where I think of drinking and drugging. The difference today is that I am blessed with a way out.  I realize that just because I think it, doesn't mean I have to do it.  Today there is more peace and joy in my life than I ever thought possible. 

Thanks for letting me share.

Htownnofrown · Accepted Answer

One of the first things that I saw once I got to treatment were the 12 steps of AA on the wall in the meeting room. I read them and thought, "wow, doing that is gonna suck". As I went to meetings, almost 3 a day while I was in treatment, I saw the alumni from the treatment center come back to meetings and they looked happy, healthy, and free. 
It's just like you said, I knew I wasn't going to like the leveling of pride and other uncomfortable things that us addicts have to do when we work the steps, but I saw that it worked in others, particularly other guys my age in their early 20's, and I wanted what they had. 

The hoplessness and futility of my life was apparent every day to me in my addiction. I was not strong enough to quit using, and in general, wasn't strong enough to do the right thing. So when I got to treatment, I became willing to do whatever was told to me in order to change the way I lived. Thank God for AA because my life is exponentially better now that I have worked the steps, work with others, and do my best to practice the principles in all my affairs.

Punkinhead75 · Answer

Thanks everybody for sharing.  It is great to hear from all of you. As we keep doing the work and learning as we go our recovery grows along with our relationship with a power greater than ourselves.  There truly is a better way of living.  God Bless!!!!

laurel453 · Answer

Your posts are always like fresh water, punkinhead... they are always needed and taste good...

I am still working on my self-searching journey and it is worth it all the way even if sometimes is hard, sure... but also rewarding, i am feeling much better with myself than two years ago, that one year ago....

shrimpman · Answer

Great post-----Have not been here for awhile------Doing great-------I'm still getting better mentally and physically--------Ya'll got me through the hardest and you know who you are----Best regards, Jon

chronicmistake · Answer

I needed to hear, "just because I think it does not mean I have to do it."  :)  The hardest part on day 9 is realizing I have to change the way I think.  I have to rewire my brain.

cheesystick · Answer

loved the post. i hope some day i can be at that point. there are many underlying issues why i use and im just trying to get it all figured out.

FassFeat · Answer

That is a great post Punkinhead, Thanks for sharing. Really, great. Good luck and congrats on clean time. You are doing so good.

gnarly_1 · Answer

HEY great post......when people finely relise that theirs more to this then the pills healing can begin until that time you may be sober but all your doing is ''white knuckling'' your sobriety
nothing changes if nothing changes you need to dig down deep to the root of the problem
to find out what drove you to use in the first place........Gnarly

A solution

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Annnddd....here i am again!

Wife returning from 28 day residential. What should i expect?

Cold turkey from hydrocodone

my older brother is about to be kicked out on the street at 36 years old

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