Oxy's and Perc's... How can I help my loved one?

[WorriedSick86]

Hi,

I have been seeing a guy I've known throughout elementary school until now & have been dating for the past 2 years. I know he is the one for me, we both know and love each other very much. We are expecting a child, now only 8 weeks into the pregnancy. This is my first time crying out for help - it seems like if I go to my friends no one understands, or they are users themselves.

I suspect my boyfriend to be addicted to oxy's. He never tells me anything about pills, or his money problems. But I am hearing through other people about the s*** he's getting  himself into. He owes our friends money, owes me a lot of money (but I wont worry about that.. money is only material to me), has gotten into a few fights with a really good friend over spending his cash, getting harrassed by another to pay her back, has been close to getting in trouble with the law many times, has stolen oxy's & other materials to hock in for $$.. ughh the list goes on.

I am getting sick and tired of people telling me things, its almost on a weekly basis that I have to sort a new situation out, to try find the truth to. I ask my partner about the things I hear but now I am getting so sick of it I dont know what to do. I have left him once for 2 weeks and during that time he hit rock bottom. I am not going to leave him now because we are having a baby, and I know that without his addiction he is an awesome person to be around.. its just now everything is clouded by whatever's going on in his life.

What do I do?? I have tried to talk to him but I have learned that this drug makes you feel pretty emotionless. What can I say to him to have him realize he is getting into trouble?? How do I deal with the neverending lies?

Please help**

[lifesaride]

absolutely, the three of you will be fine.

[WorriedSick86]

Thanks for your support and kind words*

I am trying all I can to let things go about my partner and his problems. I definately dont need the stress when we're having a baby. I really do hope that he can realize on his own, but with having many friends who are in the same boat and deeper situations I feel that he might become to think that its ok or its the 'norm'. He tells me he doesnt want to be friends with them, but when I come around - there they are, stopping by or looking for him.

He is already sick and tired of his lies and fights, but it still happens :S. Thats what I dont understand. Everything he says to me is opposite from what he does. The only thing I know is pure and true is that he loves me. I know its the addiction taking over his life, its taken me a long time to realize that. I use to be mad at him - now Im just mad at the people who invented oxy's and perc's...

And about the gas fill ups - thats a pretty good example. It made me realize that there are underlying issues that need to be dealt with, and that the addiction/tolerance can get worse and worse. You made me think of two different things in that example - the underlying issues and the tolerance for more and more concentration of the drug.

I will pass this site onto him - but he will still deny he has a problem. He never goes online because he is always busy running around. And I think people send him emails wanting their $$... We're from a small town, so there is not much support there. There's a rehab centre, but I dont know if he would go there, although I would love for him to. Once I move back I think Im going to seriously consider taking him to the centre to see how we can deal with this. I am also thinking of looking for a councellor, but with support on here Im sure I might be able to get through this.

Thanks again for your help and prayers* please pray for him as well to get out of the addiction <3

[lifesaride]

your "friend" has to realize where he is before he can fix his problems.the best way i can describe it is you can gas up your car everyday (get your fix, do your oxys) but if you dont check the fluids, tires etc your gonna have problems down the road. at first you use regular gas, then your car starts strugling and you go to midgrade, then when it gets worse you bump it up to premium gascuz ya think the car will run better.when all along all you had to do was proper mantainence and you wouldnt be trapped useing the premium,and it really doesnt make your car run better but because it the highest grade you think it does. unfortunately your "friend" does have a bigger problem than what grade of gas hes buying.he has crossed the line into a drug addict and all the behaver that comes with it. the best thing you can do in my opinion is introduce him to this forum. so he can see that he is not alone. that many people become controlled by pills. its easy to do. you can even pretend you found this forum by accident just loking up a pill you found. i know this you cant force someone to get or come clean. ya really gotta want it. sometimes ya just loose hope so just show him there is always hope and help. Teddy

[bandnmom]

i am sorry for what u r going threw right now. addiction is a terrible thing. not only for the user but also for the ones that love him. first and for most you have to take care of yourself. you have a baby growing inside of you that needs a healthy mommy. that baby is first and foremost from now on and for the rest of your life. stress is not good for pregnancy. i will b honest with you. he is not going to get help at all unless he wants the help. that is the one and only way that this is going to work. sometimes tough love is the best. do not enable him anymore. stop bailing him out of trouble. he is an adult and the trouble he gets into he creates therefore he has to fix. he will get sick of the lies and the fights and realize that he doesnt want to live this way. until then hun there is not much you can do for him. good luck to you and please take care of yourself and that little baby inside of you. i'll b praying for you.