Am I really a better person under all these opiates?

[nursejackie2]

Here's my dilemma. When I take pills mainly Norco, I get a burst of energy. I can function at high levels & sleep great. I work as a hospice nurse and see such devastation in patients & their families. I'm able to disconnect from the situations as I'm basically numb. I've been voted, hands down, the most compassionate, caring nurse in our company.  Stacks of letters & gifts from patients families. I'm worried that once I'm clean I'll be dull & boring. Insincere & unfeeling . In the
rest of my life I have a great marriage & 2 grown kids  intellectually it's no duh that these pills are a crutch & a cop put. I'm sort of scared to see who I really am without the meds...frustrated, impatient etc. although I feel that Om a horrible person for duping everyone.

[Bkitty]

I can totally relate to your story. You have to remember that you are still under all those meds. That is really you that is doing all those things and comforting these families and guiding them thru the most difficult part of life. It feels weird at first once you stop the pills,,its like you dont know how to act or dont know what to say. You have to get used to that feeling again. And as each day passes it will feel more normal and you will see glimpses of you shining thru and then the day comes and you realize that you got yourself back again. It takes a while and a lot of hard work to work thru. Im not going to sugarcoat that at all. In the beginning we think " Ok I stopped the pills I can go back to being me again",,,doesnt happen like that at all. If you want to remain a liscensed professional you need to think about the consequences if you get caught. You would lose everything and you would lose your talent. Dont let that go to waste because of these pills and this addiction. I wish you all the best ((hugs))~Bkitty

[minn66]

It sounds like you're doing very well so far. I believe you will still be a kind, caring, compassionate nurse only even moreso!

[nursejackie2]

I was taking 6-10 norco 10/325 daily. Haven't had any since Sunday. Desperately need to experience ME w/o them. Besides being exhausted & spacey feeling I'm ok.  For now. Long road ahead. Bthx!

[yamaha1]

well let me tell you something,. I am a hospice social worker, and I got off a serious opiate habit back in October,  I felt the same way you do.  I could go see patients, do tons of paperwork, whatever, But yes when I spent more time running back and forth to my pharmacy and doctor, not paying enough attention to my kids and patients, and about to lose my marriage, I had to quit,  Since then I had enjoyed everything about life so much more.  I am playing with my kids, talking more with families and patients, and even getting more done.
Unfortunately, I had a small slip a couple of weeks ago, I found a fwe pills long forgotten in the back of my car.  And now I am a crazy, obsessed person again, thinking about how I can get more.  Its SO DUMB.  So my advice, get off and stay off.

[overeasy]

They will, at some point turn on you, and then your in the s^%$.  Stop early it much easier than waiting until your problem is much bigger because that where it always goes.  

[akitagurl12]

Hi, those are all the things you like about the pills, but is there anything that you don't like about them?  It was when the bad outweighed the good was when I had to quit.

[minn66]

I know that the first few years I took them, I was able to make it though work and even work overtime and yes, I got a lot done. The problem is, it starts to take more meds to get that energy and pain relief. Then you start running out early and have to go through withdrawal until you get more, or start buying them. I just have to accept now that I am not Superwoman. It is unnatural and unhealthy to push our bodies so much. I do have tough pain days at times and have had to leave work early a couple times due to flare - ups when I normally would have taken a pill. Still, I am glad that I don't have to worry about refills or how many I have left. It takes a while, but life without the pills is better.

Best of luck and keep posting!

Minn

[TexasO]

I personally know many norco users who are lazy with or without them. Don't underestimate yourself. My guess is its in you already and you'll probably be better without them. You just have to get over that initial bump. 

[Pat1956100]

I have had the same concerns.  I have to be so happy and friendly when I am at work and achieve goals etc. etc.  I don't even know if I like people when I'm not on pills.  Then again, I have missed alot of time at work because of waking up feeling so sick so I may still lose my job.  

[overopiates]

Also we do think we r better people when taking them.Supermom,wife etc.I was using and got lots of accolaides@work as well but honestly u r detached(u said that urself).U dont realize ur detached from reality&life.I know u think Im wrong but Im not I promise u that

[overopiates]

Just my opinion didnt read the other responses.They gave all/most of us energy.All those great qualities u describe thats u not the pills.I know u think this girl is nuts but no u r ALL those things and the pills while they give u extra energy actually dull the rest of ur awesomeness.Quit,give it a while&c if u dont feel tons better.Btw u sleep so well cause the pills actually exaust u.If u didnt wake up&take em pretty much immediately u would b exsausted.U need to let ur body have a chance to to what it does normally.Ur great qaulities will shine brighter sober I promise.How much r u taking btw?

[nursejackie2]

Thanks both of you. I know there is an endgame & I live in fear of that too. How humiliating!
Now if I could just sleep!

[charjaclan83]

im in the same boat wen i have my zops im funny bubbly and wen i dont im dull and depresses i think that we r nautrly fun compasanayr ppl its just gunna take time
good luck xxxx

[gnarly_1]

HI  I dont think there are 2 many people here who havent been where your at when I was a professional sales person I always thought the pills made me a better salesman and the numbers on the wall dont lye I was doing great but sooner or later the pills quit working and you come to find out all they where was a false sense of security so we try taking more to chase that high but never really reach it again sooner or later the whole thing blows up in your face and your dirty little secret is found out about with devastating results the time to get real with yourself is now b/4 that happens you have a lot to loose including your license we do home detoxes every day if you want some help we can help you but my advise is get off the pills b/4 they ether destroy your life or kill you good luck and God bless.........Gnarly