When will I be me again?

[Looking4me]

I have been going through Lortab withdraws for months now and I am just not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  I guess I have made it through the actual withdraws but mentally I am struggling through every day.  I am currently taking 10mg of methodone and 40 mg of oxazepam each day.  Without them I cannot function at all.  Head spinning, unable to focus on anything and no motivation or energy at all.  I keep reading that after 30 days or so you should start feeling better and it scares me to death, I have not had a pain pill of any kind since June.......did not start taking methodone or oxazepam until November so even at that from June till November I should have beat this thing according to what I am reading.  I just keep hanging on but I do not want to live if I have to live like this for the rest of my life.  If I knew what to expect, if what I am feeling is normal or at least that I am on track for recovery I can keep fighting it but it is the not knowing that is making me lose my will to fight........

Can someone please give me some hope......advice......expectations.....

[Looking4me]

I took myself off the Lortabs by cutting them back to the point where I actually took the last few pills in such small amounts I would scrape them against my teeth just to get a few crumbs which was enough to knock out the sickness to the point that I was not throwing up, freezing and hurting all over.  I think that what allowed me to make it through that was that I kept telling myself that I had one more day behind me and I was one day closer to being well. Like I stated in my first post the last I have had was in June.  I held on as long as I could praying everyday that I would wake up the next day felling just even a little bit better, by November I was at the point that I wanted to die.  I had held on with my "secret" as long as I could and had to go to my Dr. and ask for his help.  That is when he put me on the methadone.  I did get some relief but still had the head spins and the lack of focus energy and motivation.  Plus the constant throwing up had me so weak I could not get out of the bed except to force myself to go to work, which I have no choice but to do since I am a single mom with no other income.  At that point he added the oxepam which is something they give to those struggling from quitting drinking.  It also helps some but now I am going through the up's and downs, all day long as the med's are introduced and released from my body.  I feel like my day is on a 4 hour cycle all day long.  Feel bad take the med's feel ok med's wear off take the next dose.  I just need to know that this is the way it is going to be for a while and this to will pass.  I am so afraid that I will never have my life back as I knew it.  I cannot have any kind of a relationship with anyone.....including my kids......I hate this and just do not want to live this way forever........

Can someone tell me this is the normal chain of events you go through getting your life back or am I gonna be like this forever?

[swandive222]

did they put you on methadone to get you off of the lortab??  methadone is used to suppress withdrawal symptoms in opioid detoxification.  it is also used as a pain aid.  i have never taken methadone but there are people on this forum who have they will be able to give some good advice when they see this post.

[kim715]

In reading your post I'm just a little confused.You stopped the loritabs in June and you started taking the methadone in November,is that right? Why are you currently on the methadone?