Ashamed...

[NowOrNever43]

I am so tired of this merry go round.. why do I put myself through all of this. I took a few pills this afternoon because of the anxiety from the panic attacks and I am so disappointed in myself. And I am sure you are all sick of me saying the same old thing.. I want more than ever to get clean. I am such a failure. I am not taking anymore I am done. I hate these stupid pills, I hate the hold they have on me. I am stronger than this, I am not setting myself up for failure anymore, I am just going to do it. I don't care about withdrawals anymore, what is a few days for the rest of my life? So sorry everyone, I really hate myself right now.. I will do this, its a promise I am making to myself and its a promise I need to keep.

[ribs2k]

I agree that is some great ideas. Meditating abd programming your brain to be who you want. Thanks.
Randy

[NowOrNever43]

Thanks for the encouragement! Congrats on your tapering, I will be thinking of you!

[minn66]

Blackwolf, what an excellent approach! Great posts :)

[Blackwolfsgirl]

Also, I didnt feel desperate or sad. It was what I  WANTED. This is just a hiccup in the road to health. That was another thing that changed, my outlook on withdrawling.

[Blackwolfsgirl]

I can relate all too well. I am 11 days clean today and I have probably detoxed 20 times in the last year trying to get clean. You have to want it, and have no doubt that this is it. What made ot different for me was it was my choice. I didnt go.ct out of desperation because I didnt have any more. I took a good long look in the mirror and actually started talking yo myself (the addict in me) saying how much I hated that person and how I did NOT want to be this person I turned into. Also, everynight I would meditate and tell myself, " I am stronger than my addiction. I am beating my addiction. I am winning." This really helped me. I know it sounds weird, but try it. The mind is very powerful and it actually helped with my wd's too.

[Dixiechick72]

Hey now!!! You're not a failure ok!!! Like they said u are here and posting. U gotta be like pat and jump right back on the horse and keep on going. U want this. If u didn't u wouldn't be here but you're seeking help and that's great!!! Just hang in there and trt to do other things when the anxiety hits. Don't beat yourself up. U fell down now get back up and brush yourself off and let's do this ok!!!