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Benedryl (Wal dryl) Abuse
For months I noticed lots of the tiny pink Benedryl tablets in my girlfriends' purse. They didn't seem to be disappearing so I never questioned it. One night, on a whim, I counted 37 pills in her purse. The next evening I went to count again and there were only 8 left...which led me to believe she took over 20 of them in a 24 hour period.
(I should add, before we get too far into this, that my girlfriend is a recoverring acloholic and has an addictive personality and lies about things like sneaking cigarrettes (which is odd since I smoke and wouldn't judge))
I am aware that there are side effects related to abuse. One is rapid heartbeat (which she has complained about since I met her). Another is the fact that she sleeps 12 hours at a go and, aside from St. John's Wort, she takes no other sleep aids and, currently isn't even working. I attribute a small amount of this to depression but to be actually SLEEPING that long?....
She also strongly argues that she is not taking more than one or two a day...sometimes four if her "sinuses are acting up". Funny thing is, I've been living with the girl for over a year and she has never blown her nose in front of me, had any allergic reactions, or anything of the sort.
The scary thing is that, in hindsight, I recall her waking up in the middle of the night making no sense whatsoever and rambling on about things she doesn't remember the next day. The fact that she strongly denies taking more than perscribed (even though I KNOW otherwise), the elongated sleep patterns and inability to sleep when I'm "watching", and the fact that she generally hides the bottle in the back of the cabinet and, somewhat foolishly, seems to buy new bottles and use them to fill the OLD bottle....all lead me to believe that there is an addiction-type situation occurring.
Does anyone have any relevant advice or suggestions on how to approach the issue or if there are signs I should be looking for or if I need to seek advice elsewhere! Thanks in advance!!!
(I should add, before we get too far into this, that my girlfriend is a recoverring acloholic and has an addictive personality and lies about things like sneaking cigarrettes (which is odd since I smoke and wouldn't judge))
I am aware that there are side effects related to abuse. One is rapid heartbeat (which she has complained about since I met her). Another is the fact that she sleeps 12 hours at a go and, aside from St. John's Wort, she takes no other sleep aids and, currently isn't even working. I attribute a small amount of this to depression but to be actually SLEEPING that long?....
She also strongly argues that she is not taking more than one or two a day...sometimes four if her "sinuses are acting up". Funny thing is, I've been living with the girl for over a year and she has never blown her nose in front of me, had any allergic reactions, or anything of the sort.
The scary thing is that, in hindsight, I recall her waking up in the middle of the night making no sense whatsoever and rambling on about things she doesn't remember the next day. The fact that she strongly denies taking more than perscribed (even though I KNOW otherwise), the elongated sleep patterns and inability to sleep when I'm "watching", and the fact that she generally hides the bottle in the back of the cabinet and, somewhat foolishly, seems to buy new bottles and use them to fill the OLD bottle....all lead me to believe that there is an addiction-type situation occurring.
Does anyone have any relevant advice or suggestions on how to approach the issue or if there are signs I should be looking for or if I need to seek advice elsewhere! Thanks in advance!!!
You need to make sure your ducks are in order.
I can see that you are in love with this woman. But you are not married and do not have kids. Don't get your heart ripped out when **** goes bad and you find out things you didn't know.
I would get you in your best position for you in case you have to move on when you confront her.
sometimes it can be unreal hard to make these choices when love is involved. But at some point you have to be ready to move on so you can have a better life if she isn;t willing to go to work on this.
I can see that you are in love with this woman. But you are not married and do not have kids. Don't get your heart ripped out when **** goes bad and you find out things you didn't know.
I would get you in your best position for you in case you have to move on when you confront her.
sometimes it can be unreal hard to make these choices when love is involved. But at some point you have to be ready to move on so you can have a better life if she isn;t willing to go to work on this.
Thank you...sincerely! I appreciate things put so matter-of-factly. It's been implied on here that, because I'm not an addict, its not my place to address certain issues. I suppose I should have started this thread with "As an addict myself....etc etc". I understand the disease concept and the REBT concept and have attended two rehabilitation centers. I do not attend regular meetings but generally go a couple of times a year and will gladly go with someone else who is affraid or reluctant as support. I am still in contact with my counselors and my fellow peers from rehab. That's why I brought my question here and not to some schmuck on the street. I appreciate all of your answers and your concerns.
My fear is that she has replaced one addiction with another, and as we all know, addicts have a tendency to lie without even realizing their lying simply as a defense mechanism. I'm an avid viewer of shows like Intervention and Addicted and have done as much research on drugs and alcohol as many so-called therapists have.
I am, by no means, an enabler...however, if she's doing something harmful that can effect all parties involved, how do I bring such a topic up without simply accusing. As an addict I understand the defensive nature that jumps to the surface when such issues are brought up, whether reasonable or not. I just need some advice on how to address the situation without seeming ignorant or unsupportive. She knows well that I understand her disease. I'm just asking from one addict to another what you would do in this situation.
Thanks so much! Glad I decided to join the site!
My fear is that she has replaced one addiction with another, and as we all know, addicts have a tendency to lie without even realizing their lying simply as a defense mechanism. I'm an avid viewer of shows like Intervention and Addicted and have done as much research on drugs and alcohol as many so-called therapists have.
I am, by no means, an enabler...however, if she's doing something harmful that can effect all parties involved, how do I bring such a topic up without simply accusing. As an addict I understand the defensive nature that jumps to the surface when such issues are brought up, whether reasonable or not. I just need some advice on how to address the situation without seeming ignorant or unsupportive. She knows well that I understand her disease. I'm just asking from one addict to another what you would do in this situation.
Thanks so much! Glad I decided to join the site!
Why don't you just tell her the stuff is harmful. Maybe she doesn't know it's just as bad as other drugs/alcohol. Try it.
I don't think he's asking for relationship advice. You may want to lay off this girl who can't even defend herself. Don't be a counselor. That's not why we're here. Damn. jakeinaz I think you should just talk to your girl. Ask her what's up instead of taking advice from a stranger who thinks she knows everything.
Jaybay is my best friend on the planet (wife of many years) and is pretty damn educated and astute. She's just callin' it straight up.
In my limited experience, I'm sure your girl is hiding something/s from you. I'm sure that it will **** her off, but maybe kindly suggest counseling with a Psychologist, (not counselor). This has made a huge difference in my/our lives.
In my limited experience, I'm sure your girl is hiding something/s from you. I'm sure that it will **** her off, but maybe kindly suggest counseling with a Psychologist, (not counselor). This has made a huge difference in my/our lives.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes this person is looking for relationship advice due to the situation they are in. That is what we do on this forum. Jaybay knows exactly what she is talking about.
As for your comment about just telling her the stuff is harmful...If it was that easy these sort of forums wouldnt be needed. Educate yourself on addiction. sara
As for your comment about just telling her the stuff is harmful...If it was that easy these sort of forums wouldnt be needed. Educate yourself on addiction. sara
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You are in the unfortunate and uncomfortable position of either -
1) playing DEA cop to gather evidence that will satisfy your suspicions, or
2) calmly asking her to be honest with you about the behavioral changes you've noticed.
Who knows? It may not even BE benadryl alone that is changing her behavior and sleep patterns. It may be a combination of that along with something else. You said in your first post that she is a habitual liar - even when confronted with direct evidence like the cigarettes - so you'll have to trust your own judgment. If her behavior is beyond what you can live with, it's time to go.
You're right - it's not your job to convince your girlfriend that she's an addict. It IS your job to tell her that her behavior has become a problem, and her actions have consequences to your relationship with her. It is also your job to determine what those consequences will be as far as your life with her is concerned and make them clear to her. How you say it probably won't matter. She's going to be angry; she's going to be defensive; she's going to deny; she's going to lie; and she probably won't change a thing, but you'll have it all out on the table with honesty.
In one way you are being an enabler. You are enabling your girlfriend's addiction problems to run your life. How much time do you spend wondering what you'll find when you get home from work? How much of your life do you want to spend having to count pills? How many sleepless nights do want to endure while you watch her to see if she's still breathing? Your relationship is already turning toxic because she won't work her recovery, and frankly it doesn't sound like she's recovered from squat at the moment.
Let's look at what you've written. Your girlfriend
1) Is an alcoholic/ addict
2) Has harmed herself and continues to harm herself with substance abuse
3) Is now harming YOUR life with continued substance abuse
4) Is a liar
5) Is unemployable in her chosen profession as a consequence of her addiction
6) Refuses to work a recovery program and wants to pretend everything is just fine.
What is left in this relationship for YOU?