am i letting my addiction defeat me?

[hazelstar191]

ive been struggling with a norco addiction ive come a long way from taking 8 10/325 pills a day to taking three a day i had quit cold turkey and i made it six days then my back pain started and it was too painful so i started taking norco again i keep telling myself i wont fall into my bad habit again but im afraid since i have ills that ill start taking more and more again but i do actually have pain due to my scoliosis and until i can get my pain under control i have to take something for the pain... ive asked my mom to hold my pills for me and only give them to me when im really in pain and even though ive come along way with my addiction i feel me taking any is my addiction defeating me but i cant live being in so much pain i guess im just looking for words of encouragement please dont respond if your just gonna tell me the pain is all in my head becuase trust me its not

[hazelstar191]

i have a five year old daughter of course im in the process of getting medical insurance thats not something we can go without but it takes time they always take forever to get things going at least they do here in california by next month i should have insurance and hopefully can start pain management hopefully i can find a better way to control my pain cause a life on pain killers isnt the kind of life i wanna live i appreciate the advice but i got that part covered well almost but for now im just gonna have to make do with what i can thanks for your support medhelp has really helped me makes me feel like there are others going through the same thing and im not alone

[limodan73]

I'm sure I'll get **** for this, but sweetheart ya gotta learn how to play the system. If you don't have insurance, go start the process of getting on medicare/Medicaid.  With your condition you qualify, unless you're raking in the cash. You have to get a worker, and, if you get a crappy one, demand a new one. They get REALLY desensitized to reality that its human beings their supposed to be helping. Until then, go to the Mayo-Clinic website. Lots of good stuff on their for your disease.  Keep posting. Keep ya head up, and god bless. :0

[hazelstar191]

thank you for your words just reading someone encouraging me helps a lot..... ive known ive had a problem for a long time it just took a while to take action if it wasnt for my back pain i never would have gotten hooked on these things but i know everything happens for a reason.... if it wasnt for my mom i dont know where i would be i know that if i had my pills i would just take more and more i would like to say i can control myself but i know me and i just have such an addictive personality so her holding them is the right thing to do..... im gonna beat this addiction im a survivor but what am i gonna do about my pain? unfortunately i dont know yet physical therapy is a great idea if i had medical insurance but right now i dont so for now im just doing stretches at home and a lot of swimming and walking its hard work but i know it will all be worth it when my head is clear and i dont have pain anymore..... thanks everyone for you advice

[limodan73]

First off, BRAVO for acknowledging that the Norco's are dangerous. I personally know someone with your disease and just how bad it can get. You made a great choice talking to your mom and having her dole them out. But, here's the problem. You know those dam things are a personal slippery slope. I, personally, do not believe you are sabotaging your recovery. Your taking great steps in the right direction. But you have to keep going. Start looking into other types of relief. Physical Therapy(works wonders for me, collapsed L5-S1 disc, cracked L5), talk to your doc about specific treatments for your disease, and STOP beating yourself up. Is it gonna be easy, nope.  Can you do it, of course you can. Just have to continue being pro-active. Hope I helped, good luck and god bless. Keep coming on the forums, whole lotta great people on here.

[neveragainplease]

Hazel, this is something you'll need to continue working with your doctor on. Scoliosis is not easy to live with and it can be painful. As far as 3 a day, you may be able to reduce again? Not sure. One problem is tolerance. It builds, as you know. If you can do physical therapy and get your pain level down lower, maybe you can reduce to where 3 a day is not normal, and maybe you can get it to like, 2 or something. I dunno.

I'm on a kick right now, so everyone is having to put up with this idea: replace your drugs with real therapies. In your case, where scoliosis is a lifelong issue, you may benefit from a round of visits to the physical therapist. They may be able to help you improve the root cause.

Please let me know what you end up doing. Try to be proactive. I know it's hard but try. You may get your wish and be off the heavy pain killers more often than not.

[BluCrystal]

Hi, Hazel! :-)  You are dealing with some very specific issues when it comes to addction and recovery.  First thing to know is this: never, under any circumstances, take the substance, in your case hydros, once you are completely off them.  I am an ex-alcoholic, which means that if were to take as much as ONE SIP of alcohol, I would be right back to square one fighting it all over again.  I understand that you have painful medical conditions.  Be honest with your doctor.  Tell him you are a hydro addict and to please give you something else that is non-addictive, for your pain.  He will be overjoyed to do so for you, and you won't have the worry of the addiction sneaking up on you again.  God Bless - Blu