Clean or not

[hollys]

Hello I have a question for all of you and I am asking that you please be 100% honest where you think it will upset someone or not. I am on methadone and clean from all other drugs. All I take is Methadone one time a day. I am told that I am now clean but a lot of people look at it as not being clean. Not Methadone has saved my life, family, homes and self respect etc.... I do not get high on methadone and can't abuse the program. So my question to you is am I clean or not in your honest answer PLEASE

[Mercedes175]

Why do you take Methadone?  To me it also depends on that.  You say it saved your life.  How can I make an educated opinion when I have no idea why you take it.  Most drugs we get hooked on is because it makes us better people (so we think).  I went to my new doctor to get off of Tramadol.  He told me that he didnt care if I stayed on it.  At the time it was working wonders for me. The benefits outweighted the side effects. Only side effect to me was that I had horrible mornings ..or basically with drawals.  When the drug leaves your system you feel like a worn out wash rag.  A couple pills later though I felt good.  Now after 4.5 months on it..I can't see much a difference to when I wasnt taking it.  I need to take more to make myself function to the degree 2 pills did in the beginning.

So for me, I am guessing this is not good for me.  If it was good for me, I wouldnt need to take more.  But I struggle with this too. Have always had an underlying depression so my doctor agreed if this makes me feel better and as long as I don't go over 6 a day he said it was fine. He is also under the false impression the withdrawals are minimal.  They are not.  I dont think I am addicted as the withdrawals were immediate..I see it as more a side effect.  BUT...to answer your question, it would depend on why you use the drug.  Trams dont make my life..I see them as making it better.  But now I am not so sure.

[Kova]

i don't think the people on this forum whom put down methadone use are putting down the people who use it.  they are just speaking from their own experience of how hard it is to kick this drug.  i have tried many times and failed, and am now trying again.  regardless of whether you get high from it or not, you are still enslaved to a substance.  period.  and this is not about pain managment, either.  it is simply about addiction.

Kova

[benzo1961]

IT IS TOTALLY UP TO YOU HOW YOU FEEL IF YOUR  COMFORTBLE WITH YOUR SITIONTION THAN YOUR FINE. WERE NOT HERE TO JUDE YOU BUT TO HELP YOU. GOOD LUCK  :)

[cynicalslave]

It's the difference between being sober and being drug-free. If you're not getting high, then you're sober. But you're not drug-free.It's still prolonging the addiction in my mind. It's safer than the alternative, but if you are feeling guilt over it then may be something to work on discontinuing. Anyway, that's my two cents(I don't even understand that phrase) good luck!

[christos24]

the three things are very important to all the NA meetings ive attended Ive been to 15 different churches and groups and talking about treatment has always been the same, you dont tell anyone unless you want to be looked down upon by some

[mtgoat911]

well, i am off to put the kids to bed
but i will tell you about my last year on methadone
i was heading for renal failure, my body had becomed somewhat atrophied, i was unable to get out of bed to shower or use the bathroom without a walker
keep in mind i was 28 years old
one day my husband (who was also on methadone) hit a parked car and almost killed my child
that day i said, no more methadone
a couple of weeks later i was in icu
i hate talking about that last year
one day i hope to post a journal or two
i was 18 when i got on methadone
its my drug of choice, i like herion but methadone was easy to get and cheap
but anyways,,,,kids are calling
i will add that my clean date is 8/23/04
there is life after dope
xo