Cycle of Addiction

[Nicci0612]

I have been dealing with addiction for over ten years now.  Not with just one drug, but with several.  I started with Xanax and other nerve pills in high school, then after I quit abusing those, I began my addiction to cocaine.  After a short while of living clean, I found crack cocaine and was addicted to that for over 3 years.  I once again became clean and now  I have found myself abusing codeine and oxycodone.  The crack cocaine has also made another appearance in my life, recently.  I am seriously trying to live a normal, drug-free life, but I have lost all sense of hope of that ever happening.  I don't have insurance, so it's not as if there are a lot of clinics available for me.  I am dealing with SEVERE depression and I even think I am bi-pilor (it could just be the drugs, though).  I am scared to finally admit it to a healthcare professional because I am in the nursing program at a local university and I don't  know if any kind of record of drug abuse would interfere with my schooling/job placement.  I have every desire in the world to be clean.  I want to be a nurse.  I want to live a happy, normal life, but I don't know how to go about treating my problems.  I know I probably need a therapist, and possibly medication.  I just don't know where to turn first.

[mapi2004]

Wow. You are in an obiously very, very hard situation. First, i would recomend, in order to lead a drug free life, you should go to therapy/treatment to treat/discover what caused the drug abuse. You must first treat any trauma, which would be the "root" of the problem. If you dont eliminate/treat this completely, your drug use will come back. I was addicted to drugs for years, and no matter what i tried, by myself, i was never able to be drug free. This changed when i went ot therapy and a psychologist to treat my childhood trauma. I am now healthy and drug free!
hope to have helped, and good luck! :)

[Nicci0612]

I have not taken any opiates since Saturday and it is now Thursday.  I am experiencing some stomach upset, body aches, headache and depression, along with feeling completely lethargic.  However, in the time since then, I have started using crack cocaine to help with those feelings.  It's the mental issue that's really got me by its clutches.  I can't stop thinking about getting high.