First official day of detox!

[Mittens123]

Hi everyone! I haven't posted much the past few days. I'm ashamed to say, I still had a couple pills yesterday, so I took them of course. My last pill was yesterday, at 4:15, so today is my first detox day. A few days ago I started taking more vitamins. I take prenatals everyday, added fish oil, vitamin C with rose hips (not sure what rose hips does! Lol) and I am taking vitamin D, I hope those help fight those blues. I removed all the laundry off of my treadmill, depending on how I feel I'm going to try to use that daily. Also, I'm drinking a gallon of water per day, started doing this a few days ago, figured it will help to flush all of the drugs out of my system..  I feel ok right now, read a lot about the "half life" of vicodin/oxycodone, so I figure the first day won't be too bad, because I still have a little in my system. I'm already craving a pill, probably because taking a couple in the morning is part of my daily routine! Junip, and leahlee, how have you ladies been feeling?? You guys are a few days ahead of me! Scaredmama, you are my inspiration, I'm going to keep following your posts over the upcoming days! Thank you everyone, for listening and the support.
   ~Sophie~

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

Haha that is hilarious, I was literally going to change my name to that in a couple of days. Thank you though. I'm so proud of how well you are doing, and chasing after kids while going through this can be very tough, I know. But hang in there, every second, every day, it gets a little better. You got this. I'm here if you need me.

[Mittens123]

I don't feel too well right now, but not as bad as I expected I would! I'm sure it will be worse tomorrow, but I can get through it.. It's just so hard, I'm tired, cold, upset stomach, my back and legs hurt, basic flu-like symptoms, and I have to chase after a 10 month old baby!! I just want to lie around, do nothing, but at least he's keeping me busy :) thanks for asking!  I just saw you turned down a prescription, you should change your  "name" to strongmama!! Took a lot of willpower and strength to do that, great job!!

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

How are you doing Mittens?

[leahlee18]

Weaver
Since I read your post this morning 'tell your secrets' I decided to tell my husband that I took a couple of pills yesterday.  I wasn't going to but it feels so much better to tell the truth than lie.  I know it hurts him but it's the right thing to do, so thank you!

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

Junip, you are so awesome. Great job on keep moving forward. Be proud of yourself, the past us in the past. You got this too, we are all in this together.

[Junip]

Hi Mittens,

Congrats!!! So proud of you, you did a lot of preparation, have support and a positive attitude- you got this!  I am restarting day 1 tomorrow, had a set back but happy to say my husband got a new, super duper safe and everything is locked up. I am ready, have already been going through withdrawals from dropping dosage so much so why wait. Let's do this!!!

Leah, chin up!  Fresh start.

[Frogger76]

I'm so very proud of you for doing this!! I remember having to tell my husband, it wasn't easy but had to be done. I went from 50 pills one day to zero the next, needless to say I was out of commission for awhile. You absolutely did the right thing by clearing out all your hiding spots. When I was detoxing and thought I can't do this, I'd look at my babies and know I was doing the right thing. Just remember everyone here is cheering you on, keep posting good or bad, we're here for ya!!

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

You got this mittens, I'm so happy you Told your husband, what a relief right? No one can really understand addiction unless they have been there, but it sounds like he is being as supportive as possible which is awesome. You can do this and you got this. Remember to be proud of yourself, even if just for today, that you made the right choice not to use. Take it day by day, or hour by hour if you need. You got this, you are strong and don't let those pills tell you otherwise. I'm here if you need anything.

[Mittens123]

Yesterday, I cleaned out all if the places I would stash pills, like my underwear drawer, all of my coat pockets, I don't carry a purse, but I also checked places like the diaper bag (sounds terrible, I know) and various other spots I would stash so my husband wouldn't find them. It does help to be honest, I've told my boss, my manager, even told a few coworkers (they will tell the rest, lol) because when I get back to work I will be "different" for awhile. Today, finally, I told my Husband! He was disappointed, held me, and told me we will make it through this, but he just doesn't understand this addiction to pills. I told him about this forum, that it helps to talk to all of you guys, and he's proud of me for signing on to a site like this. Leahlee, I'm sorry about your setback, to be honest if I found a few pills I would take them too, I dont think would even flush a few! That's why I spent all day going through my stash spots, I don't want to run into any little surprises :) today is a new day though, leahlee, all we can do is try again!! I'm sure many on this forum had setbacks, or it took multiple times to finally quit. I'm determined though, financially I cannot do this anymore, I'm sick of my kids going without, I look into our fridge it's empty, but my pill bottle was always full! That's not how it's supposed to be. I'm going to think of that when my cravings hit. I'm worried how this will affect my baby, since I breastfeed him, so far he's is usual active self, has emptied all of the cupboards, a few times this morning! So far I still feel ok, my back and legs have those phantom pains, I'm very tired, and restless. I figure by tonight, the withdrawals should be starting full force! Thank you, again, to all of you! Scaredmama, I appreciate your worry, I'm resolved to doing this, I will not go back! If you can go cold turkey off such a high dose, I CAN do it too!!

[leahlee18]

I want to tell my husband.  I feel awful lying.  He thinks I am on day 5.

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

Congrats on flushing the pills, that is hard to do, WOW! Your should be extremely proud of yourself, most people wait until they run out instead of "wasting, how our addict minds think", I know I waited until I ran out. See your strong already, you know what you want, no matter what, no matter your roller coaster I know you will get there.

[leahlee18]

Thank you very much.  I tell myself it's easy to give in and be weak and take another pill and that it's much harder to NOT take a pill and I know I am strong.  I felt great the first 2 days, very proud of myself.  I hate that I am starting over.  I flushed the rest of the pills a few minutes ago.  So that is really it.

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

I didn't get that strong overnight, I sat for a few days on detox, feeling weak and miserable.I found enough strength to not let myself think of pills during those miserable days, but I still felt weak. When I almost relapsed when I realized I had some in my purse, I freaked out. I was looking into my kids eyes and trying to justify to take one more. I was ashamed of considering it and tired of feeling ashamed, that's when I called the NA hotline. When I found the strength to do that, I found the strong women I one was, and with every inner deep feeling I had I made that strength grow, and held on to it. This disease makes us think we are weak, but we are not and need to fight against it. Find our inner strength. You both got this, I'm here if you need anything.

[leahlee18]

You really inspire me.  I wish I was as strong as you are.  I am so mad at myself but I don't want to dwell.  I just have to keep on pushing through this.  Thank you for your kind words.

[Cricketk92]

Hi!  Congrats on day 1!!!!  Yes, its going to be a rough few days but you can do it!!!!  Make sure you dont have any more pills around or any access to them!!!  If they are there you 99% will take them!!!!  Listen to what Weaver said!!!  Those 3 things are the most important!!!  And they are the things that will keep you clean once you get through the physical part!!!  Keep on posting and let us know how you are doing!!  XOXOX  Karen

[weaver71]

I was reminded of a good friend today, he had 3 keys to recovery.

Cut ALL sources
Tell your secret
Get aftercare

I have to say, in the time I have been around here, those who truly do those 3 things, without reservation, succeed.

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

Leah you got this too, that fact that you haven't stopped trying to quit is wonderful. If you need anything let me know

[leahlee18]

Hi Sophie
I am sad to say that I am starting over today.  I was doing fine but took a few pills yesterday that I had found.  I am so mad at myself.  So today I am starting over.  I wasn't having bad withdrawals. but was feeling down and depressed and when I found the pills, I just took them.  Totally *****.  This is so hard.  Totally disappointed in myself.  Keep us posted on how you are feeling.  Stay strong, the cravings are tough.  Let's help each other get through this!
check your inbox.

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

Mittens, yay. I'm have been waiting to hear from you and a little worried. I'm so glad today is your quit day. Your are awesome. Remember a lot of it is mental, keep your head in the game. you got this, I'm here if your need anything.