Going back to work, anxiety

[MizDemeanor]

Well, its been 6 months since I have been off the job due to an injury that I had surgery for back in december. 4/1 is my first day back at work. I was already taking the pills prior to the injury as it was a pre existing injury that I made worse by an accident. I wasnt doing too well at work since I was always high. I know I have alot to "fix" when I get back. My boss didnt know "why" I wasnt "myself" and he still doesnt. I dont plan to explain when I go back but I have to get back alot of credibility due to my erratic behavior (repeating things, forgetting things, missing work, etc) prior to going out.
I shouldnt be so anxious, but I am. I feel scared to leave the safety of no pressure to going back to a very stressful job. Also I work in the medical field so my docs that were prescribing the meds are there and it will be a temptation I'll have to fight not to ever ask them to do that again.
I know this is rambling but I'm kind of wigged out. I know Opi felt this way and he did a great job. I hope I can do as well.
Thanks for listening to my ramble. Any suggestions would be well appreciated.
Peace~

[MizDemeanor]

Thanks to both of you for your comments. I am NOT a scarey person and Im chewing my nails today! LOL
ROFL, Newmgt, my boi, I really thought of just not GOING for April Fools Day ROFL. No, man I worked there for a LONG time and I have to get my **** together and do what you said and show them the way I USED to be before pills grabbed me (or I grabbed them?)
Ive never had 6 months off in almost 20 years. Of course most of that time I was sitting around in the pill cloud so much of it seems "lost". I cant remember simple tihngs like co-workers phone numbers etc. ARGH.
Ok, this was supposed to be a thank you and not a freak out. Love you much my friends, please keep me in your thoughts.
Peace~

[persnick38]

I can so relate to your anxiety. I haven't ever had that much time off work but I know how terrified I was to go back after my two-week sabatical - also known as the 2 weeks of wd hell. I can tell you that once you go back and get back into the swing of things, it will get easier.

The work performance part is what I relate to the most. I too have a very stressful, high pressure job (who doesn't?). I moved up in the company quickly and had always been one of the top performers - the responsible one who everyone looked up to and depended on. I didn't really see it at the time but know now that the pills caused me to lose so much respect from my superiors and peers. I missed important deadlines, forgot to do things alltogether, would get so high that all I did was walk around and talk to people and just spin my wheels without making any progress.

My boss knew something was wrong and for the first time in 14 years, I have been reprimanded twice. The last time (almost a month ago) was when I finally realized how much my use had gotten out of control and had affected my work. I have been so ashamed and embarrassed. I did not fess up to my boss and don't plan to. I figure the only way to make this right is to work my butt off now and show him that I can be the person he hired again.

If I can do it, you can do it too. Please let us know how Tuesday goes for you. Take some time tomorrow to do something nice for yourself - get a massage, manicure, facial or anything that will help you relax and feel good about yourself to increase your confidence. I'll be thinking about you and will keep you in my prayers.

[newmanagment]

gansta gurl, you got this!!! i know ya anxious, hell i would be too if i had that much time off. just go in and show em the real you!! they will prolly wanna give ya a raise!! no more callin in, forgetting, or repeatin ne more, and dont let it scare ya so bad ya get flustered. just remember that now YOU are in control, not the dope.... and ya know that 4/1 is also known as april fools day!! go in , tell em ya were addicted to pills, then tell em april fools!! for real, i know ya gonna be fine, you are a strong , independent woman, and very smart as well!! good luck n much love n respect....................