Day 11.... Confided to someone I'm an Addict!

[jibi07]

Hi guys, well today is day 11.... I went to see my sis in law last night, told her I was an addict, told her what I had been using how much and for how long.......... I feel like if I'm going to be able to keep clean I must admit to those I love I have a problem so i can create a larger circle of care for myself. I was surprised at her response, she is also being very supportive, she told me she wants me alive because losing my brother to an addiction was too much for her to deal with and she loves me too much to see me burried with him.... she told me she needs me here and my nephews do to, we hugged we cried we laughed and i was all very emotional but at the same time healing.

I have a question ,I'm still struggling with the energy issue, I have been drinking a RedBull in the morning before coming to work, is this bad while so fresh into recovery? I have heard different things about it, when I drink it, I don't get " wings " as the commercial says, LOL but i'm more mentally alert, which I need for my job...... any comments?

Today is a better day than yesterday... but not as good as tomorow will be!! Thanks for listening guys!

[jibi07]

hey there, ya not having any sleep issues now.. yes she is being very supportive, in fact was upset i didnt tell her sooner, but i told her i was not at the time ready to admit to anything i guess, we had a good long conversation, it felt great!

[EvolverU]

Hey! I just wanted to chime in with a big congrats to you for telling your secret! That is such a HUGE step and I'm not at all surprised to hear how supportive she was. I think we fear judgment and condemnation when in actuality, what bothers those nearest and dearest to us the most is that we didn't trust enough to lean on them! It's a big relief to let it out, eh?

Personally, I wasn't able to drink any caffeine for months after my detox but then, I've had a particularly rough one. (and I do Enjoy my morning cup.) If you're having sleep issues, you might want to experiment and go without. (It might not make a difference either way.)

Again, jibi07, you're doing a great job. Keep up the great attitude and work!

[jibi07]

Thanks four, ya i think the turning point for me was my husband finding out.... b/c well as you guys know, i had tried a few times to give it up, but could not keep coming up with excuses as to why i was sick for so long, so i would relapse after 2,or 3 days.... not this time.... and thank god he knows, it has saved my life............ i kinda wish he found out a long time ago though............ but things happen for a reason right! On to bigger and brighter things my friend!! *big smiles* ... lunch is over, back to work.. ugh LOL

[jibi07]

Thanks Open, it'll be 10 years on Aug 1 since he died, he died from a cocaine overdose...... and it'll be 13 years Dec 13 since my mom died from alcohol abuse , i still struggle at these times, but i'm thankful now that i was able to stop before i joined them in their graves as they are burried together, and i know it's not the life they would want for me. I do feel as though i have a spirit guide or something..... every year in fact I have a Native Seer / Healer come to my home for 2 days and he does readings, he is from New York, travels all over USA and Canada doing readings, we have become very good friends, I have been in touch wiht his wife, who also comes with him every year, ( 6th) year now , we have really bonded, she said she sensed something is up , and for me not to worry b/c ted will help me with some native tradition healing stuff too.... they do not yet know of my addiction, but they will next weekend! :-)

[jibi07]

I am trying to include more juice and water, but they seemed to taste better when i was swallowing a bunch of percs with it , LOL.... thanks, i am staying hydrated!! I keep a bottle of water at my desk all day so i can sip away!!

[jibi07]

hey clean, ya i think i drank way more water when i was taking the percs... haha, omg too funny, i'm going to wal mart later, going to look for that water you guys are all talking about..... i love my coffee, and the RB, i really have no issues.... i was outside on my lunch break, about half hour ago, had a very emotional moment, few tears in my eyes, got depressed for a few mintues not sure why..... but now i'm fine, is this normal in this early stage of coming off the drugs? I hope it's not something i have to look forward to, lol.. today my sore back and body is not so sore, i'm walking more easily, and dealing with it........ I am trying to tell as many people as i can about my addiction, but at the same time, being careful on who i tell...., but for the most part open about it!!

[clean_in_ks]

Well look at you!!!  Day 11 and even more great news today!!!  
Sharing w/ your sis-in-law just warmed my heart....sharing the real you, and finding acceptance, love and support with her (just like you did with your hubby)....will create a new bond between you.  I am not ashamed to be a recovering addict.....I tell total strangers sometimes....kinda like Fourjays said....maybe even with people who could care less...lol  But it is a testimony that there are many of us out in the world who became addicted to pain pills....and it's amazing how many people are drawn to us when you are totally "real" with them.   It truly is an epidemic (opiate addiction).

As for the red bull.....it isn't necessarily the most nutritious of energy drinks, but you said you were a big coffee drinker and not sensitive to caffeine.
Some people need to or choose to stay totally away from caffeine....others like me....don't.  I don't drink it late in the day.....but it doesn't wire me or give me heart palpitations either.

The Revive Vitamin Water is deeeee liciousssss!!  Ha!  Fourjays told me about it and it says "fruit punch" for the flavor on it....and I hate fruit punch...lol....but I LOVED this stuff.  Putting it in the freezer for a bit and having a slushy...is great fun and a treat in the summer heat, too.  It has essential B vitamins, Vit C and electrolytes so it is GOOD for you (and the little stories on the bottles are SO FUNNY!!!)  The thing is energy drinks are not sports drinks.  And they have not been formulated to deliver re-hydration.  So, the experts say water should be consumed in addition to energy drinks during exercise.  (and during the acute phase of detox/withdrawals/healing).  Hydration is VERY important while healing.
All caffeine drinks are dehydrating....so just make sure you add water, too.

The B12 will help....and it is available in liquid and sublingual (under the tongue) for greater bio-availability.  You are funny about remembering to take your vitamins, etc. when you NEVER had a hard time remembering to take your percs.  Man, I can SO relate to that one.  I drank more water when I was using and never ever forgot to take my hydros.  Just another thing to grin about now.  You are doing GREAT GIRL~~~

[FourJays]

Hello and congrats on your 11th day!  And another HUGE congrats on telling your sister in law.  Telling my husband was the 'game changer' for me when I finally quit the opiates.  I had tried several times over the 15 year period of use/abuse, but was too afraid to tell anyone.  Once I told him everything changed.  I then told other family members, my doctor, heck, anyone that would listen!  It is all about accountability for me.  Cant go back now; everyone in my life knows my "secret"!  And a note on the Vitamin Water - it is GREAT stuff.  Try the 'Revive' formula.  It has a full days allowance of all the B vitamins, C and potassium and electrolytes.  ALL stuff your body needs now.  Another member suggested this - try freezing it (not all the way through); then take it out and shake it up.  It is like a slushy!  Perfect for the summer and so, so fun!   Congrats again on your clean time and for telling your secret.  Keep it up - you are doing great :)

[OpenMind24hours]

Very sorry to hear about your brother. Every day I hear you doing something great towards your recovery. It's like you have a true guiding spirit working in your life. You're working on your recovery in wonderful ways. By telling your sister what you're going through you've added a huge amount strength and support from yet another source. Getting positive energy towards our recovery is what it's all about.

As for Red Bull, A few years back at our windsurfing launch a marketing guy in a Red Bull car (had the RB logo all over it) showed up and handed us all cans of it. A few minutes after I drank it I felt like I had just snorted a large pot of black boiled down coffee!!  I have trouble sleeping. I think if I ever tried an energy drink again I'd be a little more bright-eyed and bushy tailed at 11:30PM than I'd want to be!  

[ariley13]

Congrats on 11 days and on telling someone about your addiction. It is so important to have someone that knows our secret, who we can be accountable to. As far as the caffeine, if it's not bothering you, then I say go for it. The only reason that we preach no caffeine is because it just can increase anxiety a lot in people. It can also be slightly dehydrating. If it doesn't make you jittery or anxious, then you are ok. Just be sure to include plain water and possibly juice or vitamin water along with it  so that you remain hydrated. Sound like you are just rockin' right along. Keep up all of the hard work.

[jibi07]

Hi Jbean, thanks, I will look for that water,  I think I have seen that water around in the Wal Mart here... I'm going to start taking B12,I hear it's good for energy?? I have a bottle at home, funny thing is, I NEVER forgot to take my percs, but ALWAYS forget to take my B12 and BP meds, lmao...... go figure!!!  Thanks for the suggesstion!

[jibi07]

Hi Jane, thanks .... I have always been a coffee addict LOL, I need some type of vice and coffee / caffine is it.. haha...it does not make me jittery, or unable to sleep, i can have a coffee and go right to bed, Tea on the other hand wires me lol so i dont drink tea.. go figure. but, now that you mention about the redbull causeing stomach issues, i have to ask this..... I know people have said they cant stay off toilet during inititial WD days etc, I have not had that problem until today...... I had a RB once a day in the morning for the last 3 days, and today I'm having bathroom issues, so now you have me wondering if this is due to the RB? hmm... I'm going to have to look more into this............. thanks so much!!

[Jbean77]

Hey! First off, great job on 11 days and confiding in someone!! I can imagine it feels good to have someone else know and more importantly be so supportive and caring!

As far as the red bull... I have take a 5-hour energy here and there, even early on in the first few days. During those first couple days I still felt exhausted. Another member told me about Vitamin Water Revive which has lots of B vitamins, electrolytes and potassium in it. I immediately feel better when I have one. (I drink the regular not the diet... not sure if that makes a difference- I'm just not a fan of "fake sugars" but its worth the 120cals). It doesn't "give me wings" per-say but it does make me feel normal energetic, if that makes sense. I also take a b complex in the morning. Worth a shot... maybe your body is craving the electrolytes to be replaced and not the caffeine..

[butterbean841]

Hi there
Well done for your clean time and confiding in someone about your addiction. I personally wouldn't drink red bull because of the caffeine content (caffeine is addictive)...it would make me jittery and unable to sleep. I am 61 days c/t from codeine and i quit caffeine at the same time....just thought i'd "kill 2 birds with 1 stone" so to speak. I've read in various places that energy drinks can cause upset stomachs so if your still dealing with bathroom or sleep issues i'd stay away from red bull!

I just need to add how great you're doing...keep up the good work !

Jane x