Day 2, in WD, won't go back

[Cassie415]

Hi everyone, I am trying again to stop using oxycontin. For some people who have seen me say this a million times I know you might be sick of me or think I am not actually going to do it, but all I can say is i'm trying again. I am really determined to do this. I am going to get sober this time and make it out on the other side and finally experience life clean. I am going to find new ways to find happiness, because I know oxycontin is just filling some kind of void and it is just artificial happiness that leaves me sick and deathly feeling. I have found a volunteer program that works with kids here, which is what I love to do, and so I am joining it. I'm going to find new ways to fill my time and new things to be interested and passionate about. I want to be clean and happy for these holidays and spend them with my family and not be on drugs. I am not going to waste away anymore and barely live my life. I just want to feel real happiness in myself and my life. Today is day 2, I am very sick, but making myself get up and walk to school has helped. Thank you everyone that constantly helps me and doesn't give up, it means so much. So here goes, i'm trying again.

[ImGettingClean]

You can do it Cassie...before you know it, you'll be outta the woods and enjoying life, clean and sober again! Remember, there is always hope and this can be done...

never give up

Nick

[Isitoveryet555]

It's worth it!! I'm only on day 5 of clean of Oxys and I'm feeling alot better! It feels like I'm getting sober again and I never thought being sober would feel so good. Just a few more days and you've won and won't be looking back because that's how I feel.  Don't give up. You can do this.

[10356]

I'm so Happy and Proud of you Cass !! Congratulations on day 2 :) You sound like you have a immediate plan and are tackling some of the issues you have with filling your time. I hope you continue to see the councilor..  You have a positive attitude and this is great. You may think about picking up a NA meeting ? there should a lot of them in a college town this may help you more stay on track and meet others that have similar struggles. Just a few more days and you will be on your way to recovery.. keep your eyes and thoughts on your goal Cass of going home clean for the Holidays.. what a wonderful gift to yourself and family :)) hugs lesa

[Cassie415]

Thank you everyone!! And lesa I just wrote you a messge back but i forgot that i wrote this post and it's basically just the same stuff lol so no need to read the message.

Thanks everyone, i am really excited. I have to say i wouldn't even be trying if it weren't for some people that just haven't given up on me. It means soo much to me, thanks to those of you, i'm sure you know who you are and to everyone else!!

[KirstenHere]

Sweetheart please do NOT be so hard on yourself...I am 41 and STILL haven't figured it out yet (relapsing I mean). You are a step ahead of me right now...I have NO future plans for tomorrow, which I KNOW is not good.

I have also been here what seems like a million times now. Almost feel like I use the people on here when I decide that I "once again" want to get clean. I made it 8 days once, but my mind was still addicted and that is the hard part.

I am on day 3, almost 4...so I'm working hard to keep it together this time. Still have my dealers numbers in my phone and I know that is NOT good. Just can't seem to delete them...which makes me know that I'm AGAIN not serious about this..but I'm trying like hell. Maybe this time, something will be different. Hey, it's day 3 and I have yet to call one of them..so that is a good thing, right?

Keep us updated, please! I LOVE hearing success stories! will keep you in my prayers, promise! :-)

[Cassie415]

Do you have any kind of support system? Do you do counseling or go to NA? Do you have anyone to support you and help you? I know what you mean when you say you stop, but your mind is still addicted. I have done that before, and I will stop, but I am still constantly thinking about using and it's only a matter of time before I go back. You should try to make yourself a plan and put it in your head that you are stopping, that there is no other choice, there is no "what if" or "maybe in a few weeks i'll do it again..." etc because that always leads you back to where you were, or at least that's what it does to me. This time around I am trying to find other things to get involved in and to get happiness from, instead of getting happiness from a line of oxycontin.

BTW, congrats on 3 days! That is a great accomplishment, I hope you keep moving  forward and then you can become one of those success stories that you love to hear!