Disappointed in myself....

[Crbj83]

I was doing so well.... Ugh. Why do we torture ourselves! Blah!! I feel like Ivan back at square one. And dieing to be free....

[Jerry198]

once you delete them you will feel weird but in a week you will have made the right decision stay strong PILL FREE

[Crbj83]

Thank you. I have cut out everyone. I think I'm most scared of when the contact me.... Lol. I haven't heard a wrd in a couple days.... Am.81st makes me wanna change my number.... I'm already fighting the feeling to make it all stop. But I deleted everyone.

[Jerry198]

well that gives you plenty of time to get cleaned up , make sure that you get some quick cook meals for everyone incase you feel down and TV is fine for awhile when you need the rest but I find that keeping busy makes this thing go by faster plus get outside the sun can do wonders for the head make sure to take a shower or bath when you feel like crap.. the worst is just wearing sweats day after day NOT GOOD have you cut out your connections? if not that will be coming up soon and you will be wanting to make that call so think about that best wishes

[Crbj83]

No. I'm off till the seventh. But I do have Lil ones. Two in school .... One almost ten months

[Jerry198]

Are you working?

[Crbj83]

Thank you. I'm trying to stay focused on other things. And just tell my mind you don't feel well... But soon this shall pass. Day two.... I'm tired.... And sore.... But pushing.

[salizander]

Don't beat yourself up over this. The important thing is that you are starting over and trying again. And doing all of that is brave. Keep us all updated.

[Crbj83]

For now I'm trying to skate thru these days praying I can keep my nerves and make it thru the worst .... Then I'm back to finding a meeting I can feel good about trying to fight the demons like everyone else. Its just not been easy. Ugh.

[Jerry198]

you can do this!! what type of plan do you have ?

[Crbj83]

I'm on zero today.... Starting over.... *****. I did so good for so long. I hate myself everday. I want to die some days Its all so much....  The addiction , the loved ones we are hurting without intention. Its wrong.

[Crbj83]

Lol. Yes. A day.

[Jerry198]

60mg a day I hope?

[Crbj83]

Back and forth between Norco and perc. Prolly only 60 a day. But still.... Been going on too long. Prolly close to a year. Give or take a few months.

[Jerry198]

whats up? what are you taking and how much for how long?