Day 9 is feeling like Day 2........

[Greatgreebo]

Okay, gotta whine and say WTF?!? Went to bed last night with a positive outlook and plans for the next day. I actually slept also (thank gawd).......woke up this a.m. feeling like ten pounds of poop in a five pound bag!
The anxiety, the nausea, the creepy crawlies...........I know it comes in waves. I know I abused these things for years. I know my body probably has a store of toxic material that would rival Three Mile Island.........but when can I finally have a decent day? Just when I thought I was going to be back in charge...BANG!!! back on my hiney from an unexpected punch.

sigh.....any positive thoughts? Even is I 'know' the answers it really is comforting to have someone else tell ya' when you feel this lousy.


Stay strong
Greatgreebo

[dedicatedtostop]

Here is a positive for ya YOU got me through the day!!! Yep you impacted the life of a complete stranger in a way you may never understand!! Now that should be motivation, I need you

[Greatgreebo]

Aren't you supposed to divide both sides by 'X + Y' to get rid of it, which only leaves "I have no freaking idea!!!!'

????

I like numbers, never said math was my strong suite :-)

[ImDONENoMore]

You too :)  p.s. x + y = I have no freaking idea!!!!  :)

[Greatgreebo]

Yep...it's definately blind faith for me because I'm not sure of anything right now. I'm also a numbers person so I want to know the number of days it will take me to get to point X and once I reach point X how many days until point Y....etc. But with this, you are all over the place. Bad, bad, bad, kinda okay, back to bad, better, bad, okay, okay, bad, okay, better, bad...........NO PATTERN and no predictability. YUCK!!

It really is nice to be reassured that us linear people can do this even if it's going to be non-linear (which really chaps my hiney)

Stay strong,
Greebs

[ImDONENoMore]

I totally get that - I LOVE numbers because there's always an absolute answer.  Not with this though - and that can be SO frustrating I know.  I think the less you try to make "sense" out of this, the better you'll be.  Right now you're riding on "blind faith" and that can be very hard to do.  But believe me it is WORTH it.  You'll see.  :)

[Greatgreebo]

Thanks....it really helps to hear it from others. Even though my rational brain 'knows' these things.....my addict brain starts to work on me and push me to give in because it's painfully obvious to my addict brain that 'this isn't working....I feel worse now than I did 7 days ago so what's the point?!?'  and all the other mental he!! you go through. My whole body feels like it's crawling....I'm just so physically uncomfortable and jittery and unmotivated it makes it hard to breath today.
I'm a scientist so I like my stuff really linear, or predictable or obvious. By not knowing what's coming at me just creates my own personal he!! on earth. 'Will I ever feel better' , 'Am I always going to feel so heinous?'

Sigh......thank you for the help. I really need it right now.

Greebs

[ImDONENoMore]

This is what they mean about recovery being "non-linear" - one day good, next two bad, next day good, next one bad.  It will go back n' forth like this for a while - but you will soon notice that you have four good days, and one bad, then five good, one bad, I think you see where I'm going here.  It's totally normal and unfortunately, part of withdrawal and recovery.  :)

[Greatgreebo]

Dude, I just got done posting on your Day 9.5 post. I'm getting in the supplements and making myself eat. I have to admit I've been slacking on the exercise thing....I HAVE to force myself to do it today. I'll probably just climb on the treadmill. I actually called out sick from work today....I just couldn't face the world yet part of me doesn't want to sit in this house anymore....WTF? I don't want to be here but I don't want to leave.....If I could bottle up this feeling and then just take a tiny, little sip should I feel the urge to use again I'm sure I would immediately remember why I wasn't using anymore. I like your analogy. My brain is like a gutted (and dare I say fire, bug and water damaged) house. I'm just paying up on my contractor's bill right now (hence the pain) and am waiting for the rebuild. It really does make it easier to think about it that way. I woke up this a.m. and the analogy I was using at the time for my brain was that it is like a 95 car pile up on the freeway, which is simply hopeless and never-ending.

You hang in there too man. We have basically the same amount of time in so we can keep doing this together. I believe we agreed to this on day 5......Keep in touch and thanks for your help this morning. I really needed it.

Stay strong,
Greebs

[Greatgreebo]

Nope....it took more than 9.5 days apparently :-)
Thanks for the kind words....I'll make it

Greebs

[justneedtotalk]

Whats up man.....I am also right where you are, I am on day 10.5 and I too have had some rough days lately.  Are you taking any suppliments?  Are you getting any exercise?  Your body by this point has purged the active ingredients of the pills and your brain is now free to start rebuilding.....Like you said in your post, you already know the answer but here you go......Your brain is like a house remodel when detoxing.  At first it is miserable because you have to tear out all of the old material and it *****.  Eventually you get it to where the house is gutted and is awaiting new materials and new construction.  At 9-10 days we are at that stage where our brains are now free to start re-constructing the nuero pathways that we damaged or have not been using for years.  A lot of people including myself relapse around this time because we are definitely feeling better than days 3-4-5 but are not back to normal yet and it is hard to be patient.  

I have been drinking protein shakes twice a day, taking multivitamins, and other suppliments similar to the amino therapy protocol on the health pages.....This is when your body and brain need this material the most to help the reconstruction or remodel.  Hang in there, WE WILL get through this.  Just keep in mind that the more you put into detox the more you will get out of it and feel better.  Exercise has really helped me too.  I built a fence all weekend which took every ounce of patience and energy I could muster.  I was able to get through it and feel better because of it.  I am extremely sore today but it is a good feeling.  I too am still struggling with wrestlessness, a touch of anxiety, and still have some lower end problems but I know that each day THIS WEEK will be better and better.  As soon as you get to the two to three week mark you will REALLY start to feel back to normal.....Still get a bunch of water down you and treat yourself like you were still on day 3.....Well, gotta go.....Hang in there and DON"T USE!!!!!  :)

[dominosarah]

Rome wasnt built in a day was it??!!!  Sorry i couldnt resist!!

The bad days will come and go during this time.   Your body is still chapped with you for all the abuse and all your organs are trying to heal.  You can get thru this!!