Not such a hot night for sleep. I quit my job, so I can learn how to sleep again. I felt like I was going totally crazy thinking about having to be at work at 7am. I fell asleep around 8pm and woke up at 9:30pm and was up until somewhere after 2pm.
I had to tell my significant other what was going on. He had no idea I was on Suboxone and I was so worried how he would react. We were together for 12 years. He lives in Portland, OR. I lived with him in Florence, OR for 10 yrs. I loved it! Except for getting high and us breaking up and getting back together all the time. Very tiresome.
I am here in Virginia living with my brother. I've been here like 6 months and started taking suboxone 5 months ago. Before that I was getting Fentynal Patches.
Anyway, my significant other sounded to be alright with what I am doing. I just get a little worried, because he sometimes will come back a day or two later not happy with me, so that is making me a little anxious. I was so anxious about telling him that I was going to quit my job. He was ok with it. I told him I have to take care of me. He said, it's just going to take a little longer for me to move back in with him. I need to get a job before I move out there to. I've been trying to fill out job applications on line and I get so discouraged. I have 2 felonies. They are from 1997 and 1999. When it comes to getting a job, I feel like a hamster in a hamster ball. That is a reason, I was so afraid to quit my job. My boss, told me to keep in touch with her, so I have a feeling she will give me a good recommendation or hire me back when I am ready. I just feel crappy leaving, because the other people there have to take up my slack. I FORGIVE MYSELF!!!!!! I FORGIVE MYSELF!!!!! I FORGIVE MYSELF!!!!! IT'S OK!!!!!!
ANYWAY! I AM GOING TO GET OUT FOR A WALK TODAY AND NOT WORRY ABOUT ANYONE BUT ME. I JUST HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND, I AM GETTING BETTER, EVEN THOUGH IT DOESN'T "FEEL" LIKE IT! MY BODY HURTS AND WILL FOR A WHILE AND MY ANXIETY IS PRETTY BAD, BUT I HAVE TO KEEP GOING!!!! NO LOOKING BACK!!!
THANK YOU AGAIN, EVERYONE THAT IS SUPPORTING ME ON THIS SITE!