Feeling alone.

[Catt_N]

Has anyone been on methadone for over a decade? I've been on this for 12 years and my father asked me,are you going to live like this forever? It hit me so hard cuz I never thought about it.
During those 11 years I went up and down a lot,(highest dose was 80mgs) but managed to get myself down to 13 mgs by new years eve 2011. Then started a silly rapid detox and decreased 13 mgs down to 11mgs for one week. Then 11mgs down to 8.5mgs the next. I got so sick. Felt like my heart almost gave up on me giving me random chest pains. So I had to slow down. I went only 1mg each week til I got to 5.5mgs, & stayed on that for 10 days as I felt the rapid detox was catching up to me. Today is only day one and I'm sending myself into a panic attack! I do have clonidine and Diazapam and some lopermide just in case. Has any body out there been on methadone for over a decade and made it? Are the withdrawals longer than others who has been on it like 3 or 4 years? Will it be harder on people who've been on it too long? Is it too late?

[Catt_N]

Hi guys,
Jayess545,  I cannot describe the feeling!  I can only sat it was so worth it! When my brother came up to see me, It had no impact on me whatsoever!  I am now that strong! I have control, not the methadone!  And all I wanted to do was hug everyone,  and constantly hugging & kissing my parents, they are estactic!  I never showed any emotion when I was on the Done.
These guys on this site.... I held on to them with everything I had. And followed their advices, directions,  support, their love of helping others like us. Please stay on this site, I promise you, it will be the best thing you ever did. It was for me. When I felt like giving up at some point, I would go back onto this site for support and go back and read these posts over and over to see how far I've come, and they keep pulling me through each time.
It's not easy, but we got to fight for it.
Jayess... all the best to you. You can do this!
Catt.

[Jayess545]

Wow Cat, I just have to say you are a huge inspiration to me.
I am working on getting myself off suboxone (almost 3 years on, 7 years on opiates total)
Your post has been very helpful to me.
I am so glad you are doing better.
Best wishes❤

[Catt_N]

Hi guys.
Thank you gnarly,  I hope you're right.  I'm not out of the woods yet but I am lucky without the energy crash. It was brutal and that was the one thing that turned me into a horrible person. I was always angry and hated myself and everything! That and the restless legs. Now ... on my 3rd week, it has eased up and given my hope even though I'm slow and weak but I feel great compared to a week ago. And after a meal I feel even better.
I cannot believe my luck.  And I'm talking about finding you guys when I did.
Thanks guys so much.
Catt.

[gnarly_1]

Hey Catt  your doing ausum  the energy crash lasted a good 90 days for me onw it is different for everybody  but on a good side your better in 30 days and the flip side most have it 60 to 90 days  age plays a huge roll in all of this  sleep will return to you it just takes a wile keep pushing the protien shakes they help a lot  try a nice hot soak right b/4 bed that helped me keep posting for support.............Gnarly

[Catt_N]

Hi guys.
Yeah I've called my husband to cone take me home.  It's time to go home. It's been 3 weeks and I miss my boys terribly. They'll keep me busy!  Up here with my parents,  they've taken care of me. But all I do is lie around staring at the walls.
So happy to come home a whole new person!
Thanks guys for giving me that rope to pull me through.
Catt.

[jifmoc]

Catt- it is totally utterly great for you to NOT hang w/ your brother when it is a trigger for you. It's often really hard to even identify triggers, so you're ahead of the game. So glad you know that you do not have to "be a good girl" and hang out where it could be a problem. Good for you. Now is the time to be selfish (in the positive way.) Your recovery is THE priority. Everything else comes 2nd. So good for you:)