Finishing Methadone

[FinallyReady115]

First I will say that anyone else going through this can check my posts on my name as I have been documenting this process.

I just had a nice big emotional check a cpl minutes ago.  I called my mom on my own choice to tell her that I was finally really done with methadone and I was so proud to do it.  When I get her on the phone and told her the first thing that she focused in on was "Tell me when you have 4 weeks".  Followed by were you never off of it before.  That question came from me telling them 2 times before that I was done bc I didnt want to disappoint them and was tired of them asking me when I was going to go down more.

This was something that needed to be done on my own time and at a time in which my mind was ready, which at the time it wasnt.

So my large guts that I had to call and tell her that (she would have never known) turned into me feeling like I was the bad person again and getting that same feeling of I am never good enough for them.

[weaver71]

I wouldn't worry about what anyone thinks or feels for now. Focus on your recovery and the rest will fall into place. Coming off methadone was the hardest thing I have ever experienced, and I've had some intense experiences. I lied, I was deceptive, I had plenty to make me feel guilt, shame, and embarrassment. The thing is, I had to get clean for me, when I was ready. Not worrying about other people's thoughts and feelings was the most selfless thing I could have done. Now that I've been clean a little while, all is forgiven. My wife, kids, friends, coworkers, and I have even been able to forgive myself. It took 12 step meetings, addiction counseling, and 1000 hrs on this forum, but all is forgiven. Do you have any form of aftercare? It takes more than willpower, but every bit of effort has returned 100 fold. Congrats on getting your life back. Glad you told on yourself. We are only as sick as our secrets. You are doing the right thing. Keep posting for support and advce.

[VICourageous]

I DITTO what was said..Just Focus on YOU..We will always be here for Support..You are doing very, very, good there Bud and I am Proud of you!!!
Bless..

[gnarly_1]

hey congrats for taking your life back  I did over 3yrs ago and dont look back   family will come around in time right now you need to focus on recovery so you dont slip back into old ways   that lousy feeling you have of self worth can be concoured   start going to N/A meetings as soon as you can it addresses stuff like that  you need to love you b/4 you can truly love others  N/A has a great 12 step program desided for addicts by addicts to take your life back give it a shot it has changed my life good luck and God bless.................Gnarly.......................

[FinallyReady115]

Yea I have an NA group picked out. We in a small town so there is only one once a week.

I feel like my brain is in the right place for this totally. I am a very hard headed person and once I'm game for something that's it.

That is great advice about the fam. When I talk to my mom again I am going to specifically let her know this isn't about her and if she can't be happy for me then her loss

[FinallyReady115]

Well we have broken into day 4 now and I'm still doing pretty good. Went fishing for several hours today off the pier which was awesome bc I had never been able to do that before. Haven't had any symptoms except for the runs a bit. I have a good supply of colonos to help me sleep. Just took 3 1mg and we will see how that does. I will post again in the morning (or when I wake up in the night to let y'all know how that works!

[gnarly_1]

hey dude  lay off the benzos  there a whole nother can of worms you dont want to become dependedt on........just a thought......Gnarly

[FinallyReady115]

I'm taking them through day 6 just based on what I read on the Thomas recipe. Also starting tonight bc this will be day 5 I will be taking less. I took 2 today and that's all I'm taking.   Also I have a very limited supply of them so I couldn't keep taking them even if I wanted to (which I don't)

Thanks for looking out tho bro

On another note day 5 is here and I still feel amazingly well!!

[VICourageous]

Hi There Bud..Remember what I said about those Benzo..Just kind of take it easy and do a shot little taper as you get feeling better OK..That one with the Methadone plus the other Ha!!! Made my Anxiety shoot to the Moon more then any other substance I have ever experienced..You are doing a good job with the positive attitude..Ya!!!!!
Bless..

[FinallyReady115]

Thanks for the support. Yea I'm not Nona be messing with them for more then another day. I think (hope) that I'm going to sleep well tonight.

My wife and I started to take care of a quad today and that kept me busy so in addition to lack of sleep I am exhausted. So hopefully that will be on my wide.

Symptom wise I am getting very minor cold chills and taking one muscle relaxer 2 times a day (recommends 2 per doe) has kep my legs from hurting. So in all honesty depending on how sleep goes tonight I cannot believe that I can say I have no symptoms!

Btw I have broke into day 5 now!!!!!!

[VICourageous]

5 Days Already????? Wow time just fly's by..That is good for you..Ha!!! Hey do not forget about the Warm Electric Blanket after the Bath with the salt to draw out the poisons..I am very Proud of you..You came off of a low dose so you might just be good to go..Ya!!!!!!
Bless You & Family..Hope you sleep well tonight..
vickie

[FinallyReady115]

Yea I cannot believe that I am not having symptoms. I guess I just did it the right way and rly took y time tapering. Then when we get to a new city where I know no one makes it a lot easier to not make that phone call to feel better.

For the colonos. I only took 2 yesterday and that was mid day.  None at night to sleep. Just a muscle relaxer and I did wake up for about an hour but other than that I slept the entire night. Looking at the time now I'm officially at 5 1/2 days clean and it makes me want to cry as I type this bc I feel free from something that took away 10 years of my life (my 20s at that).

Thanks for all the continued support and everything y'all have done and ill keep ya posted!

[FinallyReady115]

Still just going through the day with business as usual. Going to a friends tonight and haven't taken any colonos today. Been working on my computer stuff I needed to do a lot and listening to music. Which I can say listening to music has been a big help

[gnarly_1]

HI  go to see your getting out of this ezely  most dont count your blessing keep pushing forward and read what I sad about N/a.......Gnarly

[FinallyReady115]

Yea I know I am thankful every min of they day for it esp w 8 yrs of it in me. We are in a small town so there is only 1 mtg a week but I already have my book out to go tomorrow night.

We are in day 6 now and I'm not taking anything extra to help me sleep and we will see how that goes.

I'll post hopefully in the morn if not sooner

[FinallyReady115]

Well seems to be my sleep is working like I will be able to go to sleep normally for like an hour. Then I'll wake p w spasms and not be able to go back to sleep.  Imp just make myself get up and try to burn energy.

More to come

[FinallyReady115]

Yea still didn't sleep right last night. I imagine that's gonna be the last thing that goes back to normal.  But that's okay, I can deal with that. But other than that I still feel the same. No symptoms and getting more excited as the days go on

Day 6, yay!!

[weaver71]

I live in a town of about 3000, and we have one NA meeting as well. I go to AA. There are a surprising number of members who have battled with opiates. It was suggested to hit 90 meetings on 90 days, so AA was my option. Just throwing that out there. You seem to be slipping out this time, what a blessing. Do what it takes to stay clean, it will not be so smooth again, IMO. You are about to get to know some awesome folks in your area, you probably know some of them already. Let us know how your meeting goes.

[FinallyReady115]

Yea I will. The meeting is tonight so I will let you know what's up.

This addiction thing I have figured out is all about getting your mind ready to say that it's okay to let go. That was the day I flushed the rest of my **** and went for it. I can't believe after 10 years of this I skated it so easy but it seems I have. No colonos today or relaxers and doing well. In a good mood and working like normal.

More to come.

[VICourageous]

Ya you know my story..The sleep was the last and I just had to stop fighting it..Once I Posted for sleep info and I got all kinds of Hot Information..Like about the Stims way before bed and turning the TV off..Having a cool dark room..It just went on & on..Too bad it is so far back..Everyone on here had all kinds of suggestions of what to take to help sleep too!! Like I said it will come back..I told you that last month all I wanted to do is sleep..Ekkkk..You are doing such a Great Job!! Oh and Weaver above me was my Mentor....lol
I also like the AA..I go to both AA/NA but AA seems a bit more caring and spiritual.. You just hang tight..Good Job I am proud of you..

[FinallyReady115]

Yea but to elaborate or the sleep more. I am sleeping. Naps during that day. No problem, and at night ill generally get to sleep for an hour or 2, wake up for one with spasms. Not lay there and fight it and instead get up and do something. Then once I lay down again I'm good for the night. So I'd say I'm almost there

[VICourageous]

What Kind of Spasms??/Like the Leg thing???

[FinallyReady115]

Yea the leg thing and then my lower back. Feels likes there are tentacles grabbing at my back muscles making me wanna jerk.

So here we are, DAY 7. Slept almost the whole night last night minus about 30 minutes. I went to the meeting last night and was able to meet and talk to some very nice supportive people. I kinda just listened and told my story a bit last night but it was still nice.

But also to add on the spasms are going away now. Don't rly have the leg pain during the day now which is nice so I think I'm getting close to being in the clear.

Most of the times tho when I have those spasms, I have figured out the best way to get rid of them is not lay there and fight it. Just get up and fart around doing whatever for 30 mins or so then I'm good.

So that's my update for the day and I hope to hear from y'all soon!

[VICourageous]

Alright day 7!! You are getting some sleep man that is a big plus..Oh the lower spine thing..I think I told you about that one..Its like that is the last place for the toxins to leave..I was told we have a sac on the bottom of the spine that holds fluids..It was like the pain would go up & down like a thermometer..One day it was low and another it was between the shoulders..You are getting out easy because of the taper..I am so proud of you and you are just ticking away with your time..I sure am glad the rls is going away..Did not have that one this time around..I powered prayed at a church with holding hands and asked my God to please take that one..That was my worst fear..had it off the hydo/oxys..Ekkkkk
OK Keep Stepping up those Steps and do not fall back-words..
Bless You
vickie

[FinallyReady115]

Well day 7 is done and onto 8. I have started to comment to other ppl to share my experience with this and I think that is something that also helps a lot

Feeling good and looking forward to how this goes!