From Percocet abuse to a pure life:)

[Backtopurity]

Just under 3 years ago, I was in a terrible car accident that left me couch ridden for 3 months w/ internal injuries and severe back issues. I was prescribed percocet among many other meds. The percocet was one that sticked. I took them at first for the pain, but all the while, it just took the hurt away from the thought of almost dying in the car crash then to numbing all of life's downfalls. I liked how they made me feel. I took them as I returned to work, it made everything more bearable in life. I just didn't care as much about every little thing like I did when I wasn't on them. I am a pretty emotional person, and they seemed to make that better. I was taking 8-10 percocets per day.

I'm on day 2 of being clean(cold turkey), I feel like absolute crap, but at the same time, I'm excited that my life isn't going to have pills in it!!! Yesterday was quite emotional at work coincided with sneezing, eye spasms, back pain, blurred vision, stomach pain, moodswings, no energy, and an extremely runny nose. Last night was terrible, with RLS(restless leg syndrome), insomnia, cold sweats, and fever. Today was much like yesterday but 10 times worse. I was a blubbering mess! It's so weird to feel again! Just don't like being so emotional at work! I hid it well :) I went to the DR today to confess what I have been doing this morning. He offered me Methodone or more percocets help the withdrawl. He advised someone to give me only 1 perc 3 times per day, but I haven't told anyone of my problem. I declined,. I am proud not to have taken up the opportunity to get high again. I feel strong, but weak at the same time!! I want to do this just like that even though I know the first 3 days especially are going to be hell after the 1st 10 days I should feel more energy right?? God, I hope so! I feel absolutely depressed and alone, but after finding this site, I know I'm not alone. These drugs are necessary for extreme pain, but I really hope the DRs one day, stop giving narcotics as a long term fix. The drugs lower your pain threshold, and make all other drugs not work and make the brain think the body is in pain when really, it's healed.

As I read the stories, I felt so much emotion. I'm so happy to hear so many have gotten clean of this terrible drug(and others). My DR this morning, gave me Clonidine 0.5 mg + Ativan 1mg. I am to take the Ativan when I cannot sleep. I know this can be habit forming too, but I doubt it will for me since it doesn't really make you euphoric at work and in life, just tired. I wouldn't recommend Xanax though for help with withdrawl effects! It can create a huge problem on it's own!!! I worry that my mind(the bad voice in there) is going to get me to go get some more drugs. But I know, the one DR that will prescribe them for me, knows my issue now! Thank god!!! I'm going to tell my family tomorrow. I'm done hiding this! I want a new beginning.

Do you know how long the insomnia lasts? And the depression?? And the complete feeling of  hopelessnes??? I really thank those who wrote their stories on this site, they have helped me so much. I hope that maybe, mine can help too. I wish you all the best. And send healing energy to you all. Namaste.

[Backtopurity]

Thank you so much! I started taking B12 and a strong Omega 3. And a multiple mineral/vitamin. Where do you find amino acids? I always hear of them, but where do you find those:) You said protein shakes, but some are so full of crap, which one do you recommend? As for the exercise, I don't know, I just feel so unmotivated. I just need to push myself, but along with the lack of motivation, I am suffering from extreme back pain right now. I just miss hiking so much and walking. Tennis:( It's so beautiful out. Whenever I think of what a failure I am at the exercise,it makes my heart hurt at the hurt I am doing to my body. I know with the back pain, it's from lack of exercising. That and maybe my mind is messing with me to get me to take more drugs! I try to be positive and I am always there for others with such a positive outlook to help them. I think my problem is, I don't really think I'm worth it... Everyone else is, but I've done so much wrong in my life... to my body...to the purity of my life.

[freedom007]

First of all, great job on getting the process started...it is long but OH, so worth it.  Don't worry about what you are and are not doing at this point.  There was a time when taking a shower was a BIG deal for me.  You will get your life back...and it will be better than ever, I promise.  

Are you doing anything to help your body recharge itself??  Have you looked into Amino Acids and Vitamins.  Now, these take a bit to kick in, but when they do...holy smokes are they great.  Amazing what the natural, good chemicals can do to make us feel better.  So, try these...and stick to em...they work...but only if you stay dedicated.  

Protein Shakes - they contain just about every Amino Acid there is...and as they said in High School science class...they are the building blocks for life....very instrumental to rebuilding what the pills have stolen from your body.  

Vitamins - b12 (or b complex)...great for natural energy production and good for the brain.  Fish oil...also good for just about everything...energy and brain food.  

Exercise - I know it sound horrific right now...but a 15 minute walk goes a long way.  It kickstarts endorphin production, helps with the Restlessness and helps with sleep.  Even if you puke...do it.

Positive Attitude - you will have MANY ups and downs.  The downs outweigh the ups, at first.  But, over time you will begin to experience life...nature, food, laughing, tasting, crying...all the good things that life has to offer.

Keep fighting...you are closer than you think...but know it will be hard and the "blahs" are the worst.  I call it feeling "souless"...but that will come back too.

Keep posting...its a life saver...

[Backtopurity]

I stopped the Clonodine today. I was feeling almost dead on that stuff although, it really helped with all the terrible withdrawal effects. It was so hard to even walk up the stairs. I'm actually doing ok today. I was still taking the codiene pills and decided to give them to a friend. If I need some, they agreed to give me no more than 2 if I am in a lot of pain. I was taking up to 15 a day when I didn't have the percocet, although it didn't even compare. Tonight I am getting myself prepared for yet another week at work. I am really craving percocet. I used to always watch intervention after taking a bunch....how horrible, I know. I don't know what it is. But this is my first Monday without them! I am so anxious to think of a work week facing my really unreasonable boss and not be high. It used to make her so much more tolerable. I am filled with anxiety. I know it is to get better. And I felt pretty energetic today. I even made dinner and did the laundry! :) I know, wow hey... but really I couldn't do anything since last thursday, when it was my 1st day coming clean. I even enjoyed reading in the sun. I love the sun. The past couple years, I have been indoors all summer!! I'm excited to be able to have the chance to be joyful of life again. I am moving into my first house may 1st and actually the reason I wanted to get clean, was because I want a new beginning. My first house, and a new life. I just need to stop drinking too now. One step at a time though:)

[Htownnofrown]

I was downing about 300-400 mg of oxy every day, so I know how you feel! It took me about 2 to 3 weeks to really be able to get into the things I love to do again. I was also given clonodine (in rehab) which is given to lower your blood pressure which will decrease some of the more uncomfortable WD effects. Instead of Ativan, I took Melatonin, a natural sleep supplement that actually worked for me. The clonodine will sap some of your energy while your on it, though. Felt like my legs were kinda rubbery. After about a week of taking it, I stopped and I felt some of my energy coming back. At 3 weeks, I was out running 1-2 miles every morning at 7am and loving it.

Don't worry, your love for life will return, just be patient. It wasn't overnight that I became addicted so I had to remember it takes a little while to get the normal stuff back. Good luck, hope you feel better soon!

[abritt121222]

you can get some things that help rls to that are all natural that i would def get if i was you and they are potassium and magnesium you can get that at any pharmacy and take 2 potasium pills and 3 magnesium also for the sleep get some melatonin  and to help speed the detox up if you want to and i would suggest this to but get you a good multivitamin i used centrum energy and it helped out with the low energy a little bit also vit c and b vitamins help with energy to i used b6 and b12 well thats a few things that will help with the withdrawals but def get the potassium and magnesium for the rls its helped me a ton and as far as how long for the energy to come back it is going to be a little while probably a month or two at least for you to have all of your energy back if not longer than that and also u need to stay away from the tylenol with codeine because that is just using a different opiate to help the perc withdrawals well hope you manage to get some rest tonight and have a good day tomorrow and i will send you a friend invite and feel free to send me a message if u have any questions about the withdrawals or if u feel like u just wanna talk and i will help you any way i can


Good luck and Godspeed

Abritt

[worried878]

Thing is..I read the word "excited"  and it means more than u know
Many "qutters" are in turmoil over quitting...they wanna but not really..when a person is sick and tired of being sick and tired..they do feel a sense of excitement that u feel..that can only be interpreted as a good thing
Instead of dreading what is a positve move for u..u r embracing it!   U r ready and any move towards freedom is exciting....it is good u feel this way...hold onto it and never let go...freedom is worth hanging onto...we only live once u know  (:

[Backtopurity]

Your responses have brought me to tears. But in a good way. I thank you so much from the depths of my hearth, that you care. I thank you for the good wishes. I do try to stay positive.

The anger is really surfacing in me today. At work, it was so hard, I just wanted to kick some of the patients at the office! But I wouldn't! :) It's so hard to get outside to exercise. I love the outdoors and used to be into snowboarding, dirtbiking, kayaking, camping, backpacking, rockclimbing.... to name a few. But since I've been on this medication, I have lost all interest in anything. I hope it comes back. How long do you think b4 my energy resurfaces? I know everyone is different, but oh god, I just wish I was ok again. I told my parents today! I am happy for that. I was worried they would just worry too much or be angry, but they were cool about it. They are confused, but that's to be expected to people foreign to this type of thing. I'm 29, so it was hard to involve them in my issues, but I, and they, are happy I did. It's more to keep me away from the slimy pills! I get anxiety when I think of the percocet. But I keep telling myself..."it's just the withdrawal, it's not me, I'll be better w/o it!!". But the irritability is overwhelming. I am doing better than yesterday though, thanks to the clonidine from the DR I think. And last night I awoke 2 times with RLS. Took 2 1mg of ativan at 1pm, and 2 at 3pm. I know it's bad, but I couldn't stand it!!! I also took OTC Acetameniphine w/ Codeine... 4 or 5, I can't remember. I have been continuing them. I want a life w/o pills, but I don't know! I just keep reaching for anything! And the codiene in them, although extremely low, is like morphine. I'm so lost. But I've come a long way from yesterday when I wanted to jump off the local bridge here...

[rue10]

I wish you the strength to succeed.  You sound so positive in the midst of w/ds. That is an extremly good sign.  I've taken tylenol PM the first couple of days when I couldn't sleep, but I've since stopped because I'm afraid I'll get too dependent on that as well.

I'm praying for you to move forward steadily and surely.  

All the best....Rue

[abritt121222]

welcome to the forums you have found a great place with a lot of great people and you will find out that this site is a miracle and is going to help you so much as it did me and many other ppl now to the questions you asked
this is different for everyone some people withdrawals last longer than other and some people dont last long at all but for the most part its mostly pretty close to the same give or take a few days but the energy you talk about usually takes a little longer than ten days to come back not saying you wont have more energy than u do now but not back to normal by any means you have to think you have been doin this for three years you cant expect for it to go away in a week ya know but just remember it will get better as far as the sleeplessness that is unfortunatly one of the last things to get back to normal so that one will take a little bit to it was around two weeks before i started sleeping ok and over a month before i was actually sleeping good again i know that is not what you wanted to hear as for the depression it kinda comes and goes for a while and again its worse for some that it is others the physical withdrawals like the sweating chills and all that usually last around 7-10 days and the mental withdrawals the depression and cravings can last for a few months but the same as the rest of it because it is different for everyone
are you taking any kind of vitamins or anything like that?

Good luck and godspeed
Abritt