How do I stop?

[JGMontgomery]

I just realized that I am going through Oxycodone withdrawel and didn't even know. I thought I had the flu or something and also since I stopped taking the extreme high dose that I was on and tapered down I have had stomach problems and blamed it on the surgery I had just had so I just had a colonoscopy done to try to figure out what is wrong with me. I am guesing that they are going to find that nothing is wrong now that I have read all this information. I was looking for information on heroin withdrawel for a friend of mine's son and found the lists of withdrawel effects and found that it resembled exactly what I have been complaining about for 2 weeks now. I have been on Percocet for about a year now. I have an extremely high tolerance for pain medication and it makes me spin like iv done speed or chugged 20 cups of coffee. I have two huniated discs in my back and found that if I take the oxycodone I can get everything I want to get done, done and I dont feel any pain while I do it an dthe pills give me a ton of energy. After my hystorectomy in September of 2011 I was kept on the Percocet till the end of December and was taking 2 5mg tabs at a time sometimes only an hour or two apart. On the days I didnt take them and felt bad I blamed it on the post surgery and just took a bunch of xanex and called it a day. The next day I would do the same thing again so I never went into complete withdrawel even when I cut down. Last week I realized that I only had 1 Perc left and the doctor wont give me any more so I decided to save it for when I realy do need it and quit cold turkey. I never even gave it a thought that I would get sick from the meds. For the past week I have been vomiting, my legs and arms are jerking, I couldnt sleep for three days even thought I felt exhausted and had taken sleep meds, I itch everwhere REALLY BAD, and my mouth tastes like I have been eating metal. On Saturday I decided to take some Ultram 50mg's to help with my back hurting from sittin goin the toilet so much. I took 4 of them and they did not help at all. I chalked this up to a high tolerance and took them again on Sunday, Monday and today hoping that it would start to work once the Percs were out of my system. I got on the computer for a friend and when I found heroin listed along with Oxycodone I got suspicious so after she left I did some research and found this web site. I have read all kinds of posts on not only Oxycodone and Percocet but also Ultram which I didnt know was a synthetic of what I was already on. I also didn't think I had a problem, till now. I really just blamed most of these bad feelings on a case of the stomach flu but after reading for a while I decided to take half a perc to see if I felt any better and it did help, not much but a little so I decided I cannot pretend that I am not addicted any more. I am on Lexapro and Xanex for anxiety and Trazadone to help me sleep so this should help me with some of it I understand but it is not helping enough to make it unnoticible. I actually broke down crying the beginning of last week and blamed it on mood swings after the surgery and now I see that it is coming from the meds. This is really confusing to me because I have never been addicted to pain killers before and never could understand why people just cant stop taking them when they want to. I probably just prolonged my misery by taking the Ultram and Perc that I took today and that ***** because now that I know what is causing me to feel this way I really want to quit and never take them again. Everyone on here is saying that this is going to last for months and I would like to know if this is acurate because I dont have months to go through this. I have two young daughters to care for and am in college so I need my head to be clear now. I have already went through the mental cloud and forgetfulness stage I know because last weekend I spend two days going um and forgeting what I was talking about half-way through a sentence. I have thrown up and had diarea. I itch everywhere. My legs and arms are jerking alot and I cant keep my hands from shaking. What I need to know is do I have to go through the worst part of this again since I have taken the Ultram and the half a Perc or is that behind me and if I just stop taking any form of Opiat drug I will continue to detox as everyone else does. If so then I should be on the way out now and things will just get better, if not I want to be prepared. I just want to feel normal, again. How long does it take your brain to start making the right chemicals again? Will my body start working properly again ever? Am I the first person to not even realize that they were going through withdrawel and blamed it something else? I just want to be off this stuff now and I think I can deal with the mental part because I have always had anxiety issues so I am used to that it is the physical part that I cant stand. I can even deal with the pain if the jerking, itching and sleep problems would go away. How much longer do I have? Any help or input would be greatly appreciated because I do not have anyone I can talk to about this. Thanks.

[sandra5353]

xanex is also addictive. going thru xanax withdrawals are even worse I read, than going thru opiate withdrawal and must be monitered by a doctor to prevent seizures, so, when your ready to come off of them, please see a doctor first. they all play with the brain's serotonin and dopermine, and your brain willnot makes its own until its clear of everything. Many people coming out  of hospitals and were on pain meds go thru this and dont even realize they are going thru withdrawals. They are put on pain meds in hospital, maybe given a weeks worth for home, and then stop. Nobody tells them they may go thru withdrawals and dont know whats wrong with them, like you, when they do. Its a crying shame.

[gnarly_1]

HI i AGREE with Sarah get rid of the tram its got its own vises  .....in the beginning of my addiction I was nieve  about withdrawals to and just though I was sick it took a few yrs to put 2 and 2 together the good thing is you cought it early I was on the crap for 16 1/2yrs no way to go threw life
first off this wont take months to get better so forget that but the healing process is gradual you will slowly get better there are some things you can do fist is exersize this is critical to get the endorphins flowing again second is eat right buy that I mean supplements whey protein shakes contain the amino acids extra vitamins and raw protein all of witch the brain needs to heal you can get a 2lb can at walmart for 15 bucks the chocolate flavor is good just mix it with milk drink 2 a day til you start to come around we also recamend aftercare very strongly you need to treat the disease both N/A and A/A are free and are great programs it will help you with the mental mind screw of doing this and give you someone to talk to thats been there those meetings where priceless in my early sobriety today I see a substance abuse counselor witch is another option but to truly overcome this you need to change the very way you think and reason our best thinking got us here....keep posting we all want to see you get better congrats on your clean time your threw the worst of it good luck and God bless......Gnarly        

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum.  Yes you are going thru wd's.  You should be thru the worst but the ultram may drag it out a bit.  I would get rid of that stuff.  Did the itching start after you took it?  Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids.  Are you taking any supplements/vitamins?  That helps too and our bodies respond to the good stuff we feed it.  The more you are up and moving the quicker you will get your natural endorphins working.  Give yourself some time to heal your body and mind.  I know this part is hard but it doesnt last forever.  You are doing something really good here so be proud of that.  Keep posting as we are here to support you~~~sara