switched from opiates to doing small amounts of subutex...day three

[kaye1989]

hey there..my name Kayla and i am 23...this is day three for me not doing opiates but i am taking small amounts of subutex through the day to get me through work..cold turkey just doesnt seem like an option for me...ive also found it hard for me to stop my drinking completley but i have cut way down...i just feel so bad that i have gotten to this point..i never thought i would.but i guess noone ever did ehh??i just feel really weak t this point and need some support guys..

[kaye1989]

thank you everyone for all of your words....i guess i am still somewat self medicating since i am getting the subs off the streets and still drinking some...i just got in my head last tuesday afternoon that i was gonna get rid of my 10s and get the tex that i knew was around and get off the major crap that im on...it was an impulse descision, and even though i may not be doing it the right way completely i def feel a little better not putting 50-60 miligrams of oxy or hydro up my nose a day versus just around 1-1.5 mils of the subutex...i have beed heavily drinking for the last 4 years...but latley havnet been drinkin near as much! i wish i were stronger to just come off and be able to work my fulltime waitressing job and all that but im just not at this point and cant afford to miss work like that right now...im starting to really ache today...but im staying strong in not buying whats been coming around...ughhhh DAY4 almost complete!

[nursegirl6572]

I want to also lend my support.  Good job making the decision to start taking your life back.

You need to get off the merry go round of self medicating away the w/d symptoms of another drug, that's going to keep you stuck in a vicious cycle.  There is a correct way to use subs as ONE tool in recovery, and if a person decides to use sub as part of their recovery program, it should be done properly, otherwise it's just more self medicating.  Same with the alcohol.  

I know it's scary, everyone is afraid of detox, but MY advice to you is to either find an inpatient detox if possible, so you can safely and properly get off everything and start working on recovery, or make the decision to just stop with the opiates and sub and address the alcohol with a doctor.  Depending on how much you drink and for how long you've been drinking daily, you may need to come off the alcohol under medical supervision.  Alcohol detox is one of the substances that CAN cause harm when coming off CT.

You can do this!  You're young, you need to break this cycle NOW so you're not finding yourself doing the same things in another 30 years.  We're here for you!

[Heather8448]

I am glad you found this place and posted!!
Hope today is great for you

[selfinduced]

You've gotten great advice above, just throwing more support your way. Keep posting any symptom's, feelings,concerns as they arise and you'll get much feedback and encouragement. Rooting for you!

[SmilingBright]

Hi Kayla.   Welcome to the forum.  So glad you decided to take your life back by getting off of opiates.  Listen..... You are so young.   I would strongly rec sticking with your plan to stay off of them.   This only gets harder the longer we stay on these things.   And The older we get.  You have made a very wise choice to get off of these things!!!!  I promise it only gets worse w time.   You will prob heal much quicker than most.   You will need to mentally prepare yourself for the mental battle that's ahead of you.    You Can do this!!!!!  
I wouldn't stay on the subutex if I were you.  You can do this w out that.  We are all here for you Kayla!!!   Congrats on 3 days wout opiates!!
Chris

[atthebeach]

hi kayla and welcome to medhelp. we are here to support and encourage you. I am happy for you that you wanting to reclaim your life.

stay away from the people, places and things associated with your use.
please look for support groups, na, aa, celebrate recovery, overcomers outreach. do you have a pastor you can counsel with?
talking with a therapist, social worker, psychologist will help you deal with your pain, wounds, and scars of your past.

don't snort the suboxone that isn't the right way to take them.
keep posting for support.

[meegWpaw]

no worries on the keyboard thing, that happens a lot I can usually guess the words anyway :)  glad you are thinking about the alcohol.  I think you will find you feel so much better after your off everything ... eventually ... hang in and see if people come around here, its the weekend and a lot are away, probably you will get more responses soon.  keep going it will really be worth it!  welcome

[kaye1989]

for** dangit

[kaye1989]

meeg, thanks for your response and please excuse all of my bad spelling lol...this keyboard hates me..anyway, yes i agree on the drinking thing, and i have stopped before but honestly its very difficult for me to not have a few beers after work :( its def somthin i plan on workin on aswell but this pill thing...well its become a big problem that i need to go away!!!just cant afford mentally, physically or emotionally fo this to go on any longer, im determined..thanks again!

[meegWpaw]

kayla im glad you posted your own thread here.  great start getting off opiates!  I don't know much about subs so I wont advise you on that.  I think it's important to think about the drinking and make a plan of attack on that.  sorry you aren't feeling the best . its good to have you here!  keep going with the great work you're doing!