HELP HUSBAND CRACK ADDICT

[ibserenity]

Hi,
I'm a disabled lady with three children. I have a 22yr. old disabled boy and two girls ages 16 and 6. My 6yr.old I adopted as she was a crack baby and is also disabled because of that.
I have been married for 9 years. We had a wonderful relationship with the normal ups and downs in a marriage but always able to communicate, work things out and mostly have love within our relationship and family.
My husband had lost his job a little over 2 yrs. ago as the position was no longer there so he got a job close to his exact hometown growing up in Maryland. He moved here first and then a few months later me and the kids moved here. Within two weeks my husband told me he needed help. Said he was smoking pot. I believed him.. but found out later he was smoking crack. Now for the past year and a half he has been going away for days at a time , spending all his money from work . Not paying bills etc.. I told his mother of the help he needed and that he came to me asking for help with this crack addiction. At first she told me he gave me hell when he was younger when he was on PCP. I never ever even knew he was on drugs like that when he was younger He just only told me he tried smoking pot. His mother did try to talk to him and he said he quit.. and then went and helped to get him a car that was dependable to get to work and for me to take our daughter to and from school i was listed on the insurance for this car.. Well to make several hurtful stories that happened here over this two year period. This past 3 weeks ago my husband became violent breaking the car using a sludge hammer and large screwdriver while I was in the drivers seat ready to take him to work.. I got afraid and called the police. His mother is protecting him saying he never did drugs in his life, called my children and I drug addicts. seems each time he is gone for days at a time he goes to his mothers house and sleeps there saying we had some sort of argument that I am not even aware of. I guess its an excuse to blame me and the kids. He knows she will immeadiatly protect him reguardless even of this crack addicton he has. Next thing I know she has the car taken and tries to file charges on me saying I took the car. I never did that it was always here for us to us. I did get a protective order mainly stating for him to stay clear of us until he is clean.  The biggest struggle I have now and hope to get some advise or help with is.. I have no car, very little income and have applied for food stamps. The worker said it will take 30 days to get food stamps and only 80 dollars worth because my husband has income although not here. I love my husband but he has not done anything in the past 3 weeks to even show he cares.. or is trying. Even with the protective order he has a sister I talk to a lot.. and he has not even tried to have her communicate for him to see how we are or if we need anything. They are all making my life and my childrens lives broken and painful. Each Saturday his mother calls or just shows up at the house here and wants to take our youngest daughter. I don't feel its right, the protective order says for him to call me to arrange visits with her. (my two other children are from previous marriage) His mother has been so hateful and hurtful to me and the kids, has not even offered a penny. I really need some help on what to do??? If I had a car I would of left with my kids.I don't even understand how he had told us he loved us but yet does this to us and leaves us here hurting and has his own mother hurting us as well. I am so drained and hurt. I really need some help and have no one else to go to.. so I hope maybe I can get some advise and direction here.
Thank you for your time in reading this.

[10356]

Please you have received some good advice, all I can add is their are free food pantry's you can contact thru churches or the communitie counsel for one in your town even social services should have a list that will offer some food and clothing I would recommend calling around or going to a church and explain your situation you may receive some help that way. You are in my thoughts Take care..

[JonDavid]

A similar situation happened to my mother-in-law while my brother-in-law was still living at home and trying to finish High School. She was not able to get the help she needed from the Government until she officially Divorced my father-in-law. She waited a few months and that was almost to long. As soon has her divorce was final she was able to get the assistance for her and my brother-in-law and he was able to finish High School. My father-in-law eventually did change and now lives in another state and is somewhat a part of there lives in a positive way, but he still sturggles with his acholoism. I will say a prayer for you before bed, God Bless you, and be stind for your Children. Try not to think with your emotions to much, you guys have to eat & 80$ does not go far for food.

[LateAugust]

If you do not have family that can yo thru this difficult time, I recommend getting out the phone book tomorrow and calling every social service agency and see what programs are immediately available to you.   DHSH  CPS    gosh the names and acronyms vary by state, so please look in your phone book under the official state listings  and start calling all the human services telephone numbers,  you may be on hold for several hours, but I am sure than can provide you with some assistance and some answers to your questions.

May God bless you and your childern.

[lady67]

You are in my prayers.
Susan

[beck25752003]

hey also not to sure how to help with what you are going through. my friend went through some of this stuff (not really the drugs but the abuse and moved away from home) the first thing she had to do is get a divorce, i know that might be hard to do cause of feelings and money. she did do it on her own on-line and only cost about 100 dollars. then she got way more help from the  goverment. you need to keep track of what is going on, write is down, and when gets super crazy with him or his mom call the cops, everything on recorded will only help. when the divorce was final the state even helped for the legal process ro keep the bad folks away. not sure if this helps, and more will come with advice, but i hope it will get better. it was a long road but my friend is clear from him, and doing much better. hang in there.

[addictedme]

I"m not sure of the help you need. If its domestic and you have no where to go then it would be a womens shelter or the salvation army, if its to deal with your husbands addiction then it would be a al anon or narc anon meeting,if its your mother in law then move far far away. If you just need to talk I"m sure some ladys will be on tonite that you could talk to,,,wish I was more help,,gl