hubby gone physco the past year

[desperate4hishelp21015]

Hello my phiance had an incident last yr at work . His health problem is 2 dislocated disc on his back , this yr he had to have back surgery due to the same injury at work. The doc. has prescribed him norcos/ zenaflex/vicodin/restoril/and spasm meds. Its been a yr and 6 months since he last worked and has been on his meds ever since. Our relationship use to be so gosh darn FANTASTIC and now it has gone down hill big time we have 1 child (2yr old) together and he helped me raise two of my own within the past 7 yrs.I have tried to be and stay strong for his well being in supporting him the best i can with his injury. I am now experiencing verbal and physical abusement from my phiance and he has destroyed my whole self steam that i can honestly say i wanna run and never turn back . He kicks me out and calls me out of my name in front of the children and he no longer claims my two older children as his.:-(!!! this has been so rough for me i feel sad for him i feel as his injury made him a total new person that i do not know... please i feel bad leaving him with this severe injury of his i care much for him but his abusement is making me wanna run and never come back im so destroyed by him. IS THIS BEHAVIOR DUE TO HIS NORCOS?and the other meds????? what shuld i do .

[fuzzypeach27]

Hi

It is the meds, I am a placid person and when I was using I tried to throw a plug adapter into my husbands bath whilst he was in it. You become more agressive, and your sex drive goes down. Thats Just in my opinion towards the end I was hitting and saying nasty thing and its not in my nature to do that. Over in Scotland we call it the Solpie temper, it was news to me too.

[bmdad]

I honestly can't say it's the norco causing him to change that much unless he has ever been like that before. I started off with a similar injury and was on pain meds. Granted, it has been very stressful on my wife and myself due to me living with chronic pain but never changed me to where I was physically nor mentally abusive to my wife or kids. I do get down in the dumps sometimes and so does my wife but we work through it together. He needs to realize that the pain doesn't only effect him, but also the ones he loves. It did take me time to figure this out. At first I thought I was the only one suffering. I think sometimes it's even harder on my wife. I did figure out that the pain meds were actually causing more of the problem then the pain so I decided that I would rather live with pain. After time the pills don't do the trick as we build a tolerance and keep upping the dose. Eventually we just take them to keep from going in to withdrawals. I'm guessing this is the point your fiance has hit and this is where his anger is stemming from.
Medhelp has a excellent pain management forum that you might benefit from. Chronic pain is somewhat like addiction in being that no one can fully understand unless they have been there. I hate that I have to have experience in both! If he needs help in getting off the pills, show him this forum.
I do agree with the above, if you are being threatened, you need to leave. Remove yourself from the situation if need be and then work on everything from there. Pain can change someone but not enough to be abusive to others let alone people that he loves. That's my opinion and I have been through it and still going through.
Best of luck to you.
Brian

[avisg]

I agree with lesa you and the kids need to get out of there NOW you cannot put yourself our any of your children in harms way and that sounds exactly where you are right now .
He has to want to get clean for himself and it does not sound at least from what you are saying he wants too .The drugs I am sure are fueling depression along with being out of work for soooo long .
Its not the injury that made him different its all of the mds but unless or until he choose and does get clean you need to go get your life and your kids back on track...Check out some alnon meetings they would be really helpful too.

[10356]

Hello and welcome to the forum.. I'm very sorry you find yourself in this situation.. You should definitely remove yourself and your children for your own safety.. I'm sure you have been a very loving partner and you do not deserve to be treated this way. Nobody does. It is not the injury that has changed him but the medications.. Do you know if he runs out early before a refill ? also does he drink ? Depression ? what matters though is you can not help him till you help yourself so get some place safe and gather as much knowledge as you can about this disease the more you have the more you will be able to help yourself.. I would not confront him as he sounds very volatile. I wish I could offer more but yes I believe it is the meds.. lesa