100 days

[gunn73]

i ve completed 100 days off heroin today. i want to feel proud of myself but these thoughts of doing it again keep me thinking should i b proud of me. i keep fighting these thoughts everyday. i m tired of paws too.

[atthebeach]

you are doing terrific. make sure you are eating a balanced diet and taking vitamins. exercise is also very important to  release natural brain chemicals that will help with your continued healing.
100 days is a great  accomplishment. it will take time for a complete healing in your body,soul,mind,emotions and spirit.
do you have a spiritual leader you could confide in?
keep the faith.
hugs,encouragment,prayers,hope
debbie

[littlebit667]

Thanks for the kind words!  :)

[rizboy]

100 days is wicked mate.its a bloody hard drug to leave alone

[gnarly_1]

hey dude congrats on 100 days you past the 90 day mile stone so keep doing what your doing it working for you always make time for aftercare regardless of how much
clean time you got....but great work I wish you a long resovery good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[minn66]

I admire your strength and resolve gunn. I am also glad you have a doctor that is helping you. Reading and posting here helps me, too.

[addict3]

Congrats on your 100 days! that really is great!
I wish you  well my friend, Guard up!

[bewitched_queen]

That is awesome! 100 days is something to be very proud of =) you have done so great!!

[gunn73]

no i got nothing bro. all i got is the motivation i get when i see my 8 month old daughter and my wife. that keeps me going.

[LostNoMore]

do you have the basic text? Aftercare is what's keeping me from using today.
No question for me. I need it. This forum is really good, but in a tight spot you
need more.

[gunn73]

yeah i know abt na. but delhi s abt 6hr drive from where i live. but u guys keep posting that really is a great support. i keep reading these posts again and again and feel gud.
so thanx alot.
gunnu

[LostNoMore]

Gunn, Here's a link. You may already know this.

http://www.nadelhi.org/

[gunn73]

in india there r not much of a culture for aftercare, therapy, counselling and all but my doc s good, he helps me whenever i need help. thanx anyways.  

[LostNoMore]

Yes, Gunn, Congratulations on your 100 days! That is awesome! Sorry to hear
about the PAWS. Are you doing aftercare? I hope so. Take care.

[gunn73]

is there anything i can do to fight PAWS. i m really frustrated, i get it in clicks like 2 days i m sleeping not like sleeping well but still i get some sleep but then it all changes and then snakes return and my arms and legs they don t let me sleep. i just wish restlessness is over and i can handle rest of the post syndromes.

[dominosarah]

Congrats on your clean time!  I am really proud of you as this is a great achievement.  Continue to put one foot in front of the other and take it day by day.  Get yourself busy today.  That will help.  The mental part of this is hard but you are in control of you now, not your addiction~~sara

[gunn73]

thanx for all the posts all of u cos it really keeps me motivated not to be an addict anymore.

[bama88]

hey gunn ....so proud of your clean time. but totally know what your feeling inside about yourself...i still am not proud everyday. i was a oxycontin abuser...i snorted the oxycontin instant release...for a long time. i am finally starting to love myself again....i cried for three months along the way..and still do when i think of all the shiz i put my family thru..but little by little im finding myself...i can relate to the feeling...my husband will tell me he is proud of me...and scared for me. and he's an addict too. so now we take it ome day at a time...do you go to aftercare? meetings..therapy sessions...etc. it makes a huge difference. also i take an anti depressant...it really helps me. but i am learning to accept me as me..the good bad and ugly...i don't let addiction define me as a person...its part kf me..but i am so many other things too. when we use opiates for so long..8 years for me...it changes our chemicals in our brain..and our brain can take awhile to reset...i was told that i would have six months to a year to totally heal my body...now i don't know about that..
but i do know im still coming to terms with the damage i did. is that where your at? im still picking up the pieces...and its been since Nov 15 i stopped snorting roxies...

hi im bama im an addict. i choose not to get high today..i promise no more than that

[minn66]

Hi gunn,

I am so proud of you! Wow... 100 days! I do understand why you are leery of celebrating because this is something that you will always have to fight. Yet,  It isn't something that will ever be "over." I think it is important for you to acknowledge this accomplishment because it is a big one. Maybe you and your wife (she sounds great btw :)) can do something special. Also, if you haven't, look at some aftercare options. There are a lot of different options out there. There was a thread about them the other day. So many other than the traditional AA and NA.

Keep up the good work! Stories like yours give others hope. It can be done, and you are doing it!

[tomskat]

Hey there...stay strong!! You've won this battle,physically. The mental part is the hardest for all of us. When I got clean from coke I still had really low self esteem about myself..couldn't be happy for anything. Then finally one day it lifted. Not sure what did it but it happened. It will happen for you too. Hang in there. You can do this!!

[vicki595]

It sounds like you could use some support, counseling, therapy, etc... Are you in any kind of recovery care program? Sometimes we need to go that route.

100 days is HUGE!!!

[gunn73]

yeah ...... i guess. that s what i keep telling myself. i guess i m just less motivated than i was initially when i went the doc.

[ImDONENoMore]

All you have to do is focus on today only gunn - because today is all we have right?  That's what keeps me going - over a year and a half later since I quit.  One day at a time is the easiest way to wrap your head around what you're doing.  As long as you don't use today and you tell yourself that every day, it's possible to stay clean for the rest of your life.  :)

[gunn73]

thanx for the encouragement. just like u said....... my wife keeps telling me how proud she is of me for what i m fighting. she s been such a support. but then i feel i m betraying her trust because a part of my brain keeps pushing, and i really don t want to end up doing heroin again. i ve wasted 14 yrs of my life chasing it. but these thoughts r so bludy strong i really have to put alot of effort to stop myself.
please keep posting i ll appreciate, it gives me power not think about it. thanx
gunnu

[ImDONENoMore]

I know exactly what you mean about not feeling proud yet.  That took a long time for me too.  My husband would constantly tell me how proud he was of me and I would walk away mumbling under my breath "yeah right whatever"...  But the pride did eventually come and it will for you too.  Just keep going and whatever you do don't use.  You're doing great even if it doesn't feel that way.  :)