need help

[MIRFL]

hello all,
first i would like to thank all of you, i have found so much great info on here.  i have never posted before but i have been lurking around this forum for a long long time, before they changed the format of this site. i have been addicted to oxy's for about two years. the first time i had w/d was a huge shock to me. i had never been addicted to anything before. after that first time, it happened every month for about 6 months, that was a very bad time for me. thanks to this forum i was clean for about another 6 months. well i have been using again for the last two months but this time is a lot different because i have to pay for them now. i owe a lot of money and if my wife found out she would definitly leave me. she knows that i had a problem before and of course i swore to her that i would never use pills again... i have made my mind up that this is it. it was soooo nice to be clean, and now everytime i look at my beautiful daughters i feel so guilty knowing that i am spending all of the families extra money on dope....so that being said i have two questions 1.) i have tapered down this month from about 60 mg a day ( by the way i snort the pills ) to about 7 mg. but last night i slipped and took about 35 mg. will this really effect my taper. 2.) will someone on this forum please help me to stay clean i really want to. i feel alone with this because i can't tell wy wife who i love dearly she is my best friend.

[worried878]

Just want to reinforce the aftercare...so important...sounds like u r excited and ready to be done...not snorting them tonite is a real big step and you will be ready to get this done...set a goal you can reach and stick to it

[hopsing94]

Man that sounds just like me. I was on my last chance with my wife last time. I relapsed again and at the risk of loosing everything I told her. I too have gone the suboxone route. I'm not saying that is what you should do. I would stick to that taper of yours. Stop snorting now.  Quit taking enough to get a buzz. Just take enough to hold of w/d. Try to taper slower , you have a better chance of succeeding if you do this. You really need to give your body time to adjust to the lower doses. Trust me on this. As far as your wife,your the only one who knows her. My wife left me the last time she found out and I quit. She came back and thing started going ok and I relapsed. I was using for about 3 months and like you I couldn't bare to look at my daughter without breaking down. So I confessed to her and told her that I was going to start on the sub and start counseling. I couldn't believe it but she stayed and is now supporting me 100%.  She has good days and bad days because she is still very very hurt by all of this but it working. The only other thing I suggest as far as staying clean is after care. It is so important. I didn't think it was and thought oh man I don't need that but after 5 relapses and still unable to stay clean it is a must. Good luck to you. I wish you nothing but the best. You are not alone.

[Firefaery1023]

Congratulations on trying to do this again.  While you go through withdrawals try to post as much as you can.  It will help to talk to people who understand what you are going through.  If you have any craving post, people here are great at helping you get through a craving.  We are all here for you, just remember that.
Lots of Love,
Fire

[MIRFL]

thank you to everyone for all the great advice. i will go home tonight and NOT snort any more doses to continue my taper. i am looking forward to this friday as that will be day one. i am ready to face any w/d i may experience and now have the courage to post when i need the help which is what i needed before. thanks again.

[flmagi]

Snorting the pills is spiking your dose. It gets in your system faster and really raises the levels. You get addicted alot faster that way. Stop snorting the pills. As you tapper, spread your dose out evenly thru out the day. That will level you out alot better.
Good luck and stay strong.

[pdiddy75]

I hope I dont get yelled at for this post...but this is just my story, and its NOT for everyone. I was addicted to Norco **Vicodin** for over 2 years...and I couldnt get off of them...I even tried the taper. Tapering for me was not a good thing, but for some, it was. It CAN be done. I just found my hubbys hiding spot and I couldnt help but take more. My bad. Soooo what I chose tofa do was go the Subutex route and I havent been happier. Its only been 2 days, and Ive went through no wd, and no cravings for them. Its the weirdest, best thing thats happened to me in over 2 years. BUT, you have to want it, bad! It sounds like you do...so if you have insurance, you might want to look into that. Its kinda expensive, but not as expensive as your habit now...
Just a thought, because of your failed attempts at a better life. Its not just a pill that helps you and takes it all away, YOU have to HELP yourself along with the medicine. I look here as my NA for right now, and it helps. Im going to find some classes around  my town too. So Im just saying...that to save your marriage and family, its a route you can take, then taper off that later, when your ready....YOU CAN DO THIS...either way you choose...you are strong enough before, you can be strong again...take care!

[MIRFL]

what do you mean " spike your dose".

[MIRFL]

i should have mentioned that my taper is also a very fast taper. i have only been using heavily again for about a month. but my plan is to finish a fast taper, which is only a couple more days then except what ever w/d i have to go thru again. knowing this will be the last time i so look forward to being clean again.

[worried878]

It would be good to have her support...i will snd u a pm...there is a great tapering article in the health pages and u do need to stop snorting them pronto..it spikes the blood level and is harder to quit...i tapered from 80-100 mg a day in about 10 days and quit...i took a few days off and got it down...tapering was hard for me and i had to give them to someone to dole out to me each day..and i still found ways to cheat...some taper much longer but dont lose your motivation to quit...tapering was hard for me and if i could have gotten off of work i would have CT instead....what is your plan?

[mimi1313]

Like cat said you should be okay. Just get right back on track. You have a lot of support. The important thing is to not let this go to a relapse. So good luck and go back to your taper plan!!

[catmagnet]

Just put that slip-up behind you in the past and move on-thats how I cope with things like that. BTW, you might be surprised how your wife could actually give you moral support, I was afraid to tell my hubby too, but when it got out in the open, I felt SO much better! If she loves you, I doubt if she's going to leave if she knows you're trying...best wishes....cat