Clean for one year part 2

[cleansweep1813]

I should mention that I have had a few muscle relaxers that were prescribed to when I hurt my back it took them for a week then that was enough and never looked back no pun intended! and I've had a drink from time to time but I never have had a issue with alcohol I've never really like alcohol I like drugs not alcohol ... Is today considered my 1 year Anniversary? Pain killers are my drug of choice and I haven't had any for a year today! Please someone  help me sort this out!

[lulu747]

Hon-
We can all hear the struggle in your words which is why we are reaching out and urging you to invest more deeply in your recovery.
You are at a dangerous crossroads here- one that we all recognize.
It's time to step up the support.
There are many forms of aftercare- I investigated them all and found a combination of addictions counselling, CBT, SMART recovery, and EMDR for my PTSD was my arsenal of secret weapons.
I was fortunate that all of these services (except the CBT) were FREE to me.  I know not everyone has this luxury.  However, investment in your recovery is the best investment you will ever make.
No one ever says "I wish I'd never gone to a meeting or got therapy".
The only regrets that happen are when we don't, and we are all susceptible to the backward slide down the rabbit hole.  Many many of us do not make it out of this hole alive.
Please consider very seriously the advice that has been given to you.  All by addicts in recovery.  All by people that recognize where you are from a very personal place.  All by people that care and want you to succeed at this.
It is time to not just survive being clean, but to thrive.
You deserve this, okay?
You really do.
You have the opportunity here to turn one year into two, three, twenty.
Think about it.
xo
Lu

[IBKleen]

Clean, we relapse mentally, emotionally and spiritually before we actually pick up a drug. My fear is that you are right on the edge. Please, PLEASE don't give up your clean time. At least get to a meeting just for today......

http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/

[cleansweep1813]

Atthebeach I know I have been struggling with not taking pills that's why this anniversary is bitter sweet... Even though I have been clean from pain killers for a year and clean from alcohol since July 20, 2014 I think about pills most everyday they were my everything and find it harder at times to stay clean...

[atthebeach]

Hun June 26th you posted "about to go to the dark side again".
It appears you have been struggling for quite sometime.
Please get to some counseling, meetings, church. You need a lot of support.
Please heed the warning and please take our advice to heart.
You don't want to go down the path of destruction again.

[IBKleen]

So what are you going to do about all of this hun?

[cleansweep1813]

Yes you both have valid points and I think I knew the answer as I was writing this clean means clean from everything not picking and choosing... If you were going with my thinking cocaine would be alright I don't have a problem with that as long as it wasn't a pill! I just needed to hear that!

[IBKleen]

I agree with ABN. For me alcohol is a drug. If I take a drink it is a relapse and it would not be long before I picked up a pill. If you have not considered aftercare now may be a good time.

[ActingBrandNew]

The only thing I will say is that this post may explain why you are having cravings for a pill. Ive met so many people (and done it myself) who have thought they can have an occasional drink who end up relapsing on there DOC. Your playing with fire.