Where to now?

[helplessinsc]

My Son is 21 years old. He has been in and out of rehabs throughout Southern California for the last two years. His last stint was at the Teen Challenge facility in Bakersfield, CA. He was there for two weeks and left New Years Eve, 12/31/09. No one has heard from him since. Do you think by sending him to another facility out of state could help him complete a program? He's always stated he knows everyone in California, would there be a difference? Would I be enabling him by doing this?

[10356]

My Prayers are going up for your Son. It will end when your son is ready for it to end. My prayer will be that his OD is the push he needed. I had to tell my Dentist and Dr. that I was a addict to Protect myself. I hope he involves himself with a support group in SC I also hope as the parent you are also getting support. Al Anon is made up of family members of addicts. I wish you and your family well. lesa

[helplessinsc]

Well here we are today over two years later. My son has been living with me for 10 months now and was doing very well holding a job and paying his bills. All of the sudden he started having problems with his teeth and eventually had 4 pulled. He was in quite a bit of pain. He had no insurance so he had to spend all his money to the dentist and the pain medication. Needless to say he had a relapse. Three months went by and he was doing well. He went to California to see his brothers new baby and got around the wrong people again. He flatlined on Oxy. His mother is trying to get him on a plane back here to SC. When will it end?

[seeker_1]

I have to respectfully disagree with Regretful239.  No one knows everyone in California, and going to another state does not mean he can't find drugs, that's an easy thing to do anywhere.  In AA, they call that, "Pulling a geographic", thinking that another locale will solve the problem.  the problem is inside him, and he can get help wherever he is.  TC So Cal is a great program, I went through it 22 years ago, and I went through the Shafter (Bakersfield) induction center myself.  He is just giving excuses as to why he's not ready to get clean.  It's very difficult I know, but don't give in to his "reasoning" as this will lead to enabling.  Use tough love and let him feel the consequences of his actions. It's not uncommon for an addict to leave programs early until they are at the end of the rope.  I hope he goes back to TC.

[Regretful239]

In my opinion since he "knows everyone in Cali" there's A LOT of pressure and temptation in his life. When you've surrounded yourself with addicts it's impossible to stay clean - I had to leave my hometown. Sending him out of state would probably work, he couldn't just leave and go get high because he doesn't know anybody. On the other hand, when he gets back to California, that pressure is still going to be there. I believe that sending him to a new place would be great, but in the end when he gets home it's going to be a test of will and strength to stay sober.