I need all you guys...

[lana_lynn20]

Hi guys im feeling really low...from wds from OCs

If willing to share stories, encouraging words, anything guys...

I really could use your support,
                                               I really dont wanna relapse.

Lana

[lana_lynn20]

I want to take this time to thank EACH and everyONE of you for all your support and encouragement...I am now 4 days clean and I will never put myself thro that **** again...I dont think I woulda been able to do this without you guys!

Love to you all,
Svetlana Lynn

[ForgotRomans828]

The first 4 days are the touchest, but it gets better after that.  Like worried878 said, the Thomas Recipe saved my butt.  I stopped and had AWD symptoms 12 hours after my last dose.  I didn't have everything, but over the first few days got my husband to pick up more and more amino acids, (see the amino acid protocol at the bottome of this page on the right, too).  and started feeling less like I was going to die or that it would be a welcome relief.  Today is day 17 for me, and I stay clean because the brain fog is starting to lift and I can think again.  Do I have pain?  YES; everday.  I take Motrin, try to move around and excercise, sometimes I eat to manage a craving.  I take each day at a time, congratulate myself, praise myself, thank GOD for each day I am clean because I got my life back.  The pain, nausea, anxiety, depression that you experience like a cloud that has settled on you starts to lift after day 4, and gets better each day.  IF you use, it will give your addiction new life.  Each day, you are one step closer to freedom.
There are wonderful people on this site that will support you.  Keep posting and all my best to you.

[mojorisin64]

how are you ?? keep posting!!

[goldenarm]

Is a Rocket shot Coffee? I am gettin ready to quit again.I was on oxys for 2 yrs, Back pain from Dr. and went on Subs and lasted 2 weeks and could not handle the pain, stress and anxiety. So i went back on and its been about 9 months and im at 160 a day .Im so tired of having to depend on this hsti .And i know there is a price to pay. I still have 3/4s of my Sub script left and im going to try again.This time i intentionaly cut myself off from the Dr.So my supply is dry.That was hard. I will run out on Sunday and i dont have to go back to work for 7 days following that. I know what to expect from experince and i hate the whole process but love the feeling of being on the other side again and feel alive and excited. I have a great life and the oxys are taking away more than the pain.I was clean for 8 yrs when i hurt my back and here i am 3 yrs later addicted to oxys.This is terrible I dont get loaded on them they make me feel normal and without them i cant function period. .However i know it can all be gone in a couple months with alot of effort and pain.I will try to make it as easy as possible on myself and those around me by leveraging what is availble to me on this great site.3 more days..I really had to pysch myself up to do this.I cant do it while i have any.That is scary just in itself.I cant wait to feel normal again and get thru this, Counting pills and all the **** that comes from doing this will be gone and a welcome relief will be feeling normal again with nothing hanging over my head..My Dr. gave me a scrip for Cymbalta too and im afraid to take them.Anti Deprresent, i think im more depressed because im dependent on oxys and once im off i wil return to normal after a while so i dont want to take them . You are not alone with how your feeling ,I hope you can get thru this with out hurting too much...

[mojorisin64]

hey there,i was an oxy girl too,and i knew i was done...if youre not ready then youre not ready BUT i can tell you that its  a thing you can beat....i started with effexor and am now on celexa....i am 91 days clean from thos f*u*c**** and its nice to be in control of my life instead of the other way around....see a dr about anti depressants,i think most of us self medicate for depression...also depression doesnt mean youre crying...it comes out as aggravation,irritation,anxiety,not being able to sleep thru the night etc....i was surprised when i was diagnosed...anyway i can tell you that you are halfway thru the wds.....we are here for you,you are not alone...please let me know how you are doing cause i have been there...

[ProdigalGirl]

You can make it girl. Being honest with yourself and others has gotten you this far. Honesty is hard at first, but it can be done.Your being honest you don't want a relapse. Good start there! Your doing the best you can. Good luck!!!!!



ProdigalGirl

[worried878]

There is a great article in the health pages on craving..really helped me from relapsing quite a few times..just to read it..i printed it and put it on my frig for a whil..remembering the reasons u quit always helps...lana..why did u quit?  what led u to the decision to give the OC up?

Depression/fatigue/loss of motivation hit me hard..the physical part was really a breeze for me..i remember doing rocket shots just to get out of the door to go to work every morning...i didnt care if i lost my job..i was so so so frickin tired..i was on the way down when i re-read the thomas recipe and really followed it...i did not have alot of anxiety so tyrosine really pepped me up when i went up to 3000 mgs a day...i followed it to the T and got my butt to the gym..whether i felt like it or not..even if it was only 20 minutes..it helped release endorphins again so i didnt feel so low....it was like my brain wasnt doing the job and exercise kicked it in...it took a good 2 or 3 months for me...an AD during this time also helps...5htp helped me i think with this...after the detox was over my dr put me on provigil and it really helped me....i never saw a tolerence to it nor did i ever abuse it...good luck to u and do know this passes...meetings daily is how i managed..with the recipe and exercise...gotta give it all u got..cos it is mentally very tough..but very do-able

[NoMoMeth4me]

Lana, only YOU will know when you are ready to stop, we can give you all the advice and help all day day long but in all honesty, it won't do a bit of good until you know in your heart and mind that you truly are SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED. Itruly hope you are ready, just know that whatever the outcome, nobody on here will judge you for your actions.
I guess I'm just saying that you will know when you are ready.

[lana_lynn20]

Thanks to the both of you...you have given me a sense of ease but that doesnt last too long...wish it did...

I am trying my hardest but I dont know if I am ready to quit...but then I realize I want to be "free."

Lana

[kim715]

Lana are you still with us hon? Keep talking with us.We really do understand what you're feeling.Sometimes it just makes you feel better to know that there are people who understand and know exactly how you're feeling.We understand hon,and we don't want you to feel like you have to go through this alone.We're all right here for you....Kim

[NoMoMeth4me]

I couldn't agree with Kim more than her comment about the mental part being harder than the physical. I know it was for for me FOR SURE. I think you will just know when you are ready to stop, I know I was. You just get sick and tired of being sick and tired and decide that you want to start getting your life back. I think of it as we're standing on the edge of a cliff holding a rope, at the other end is our addiction pulling us over the edge and we are trying to dig our heels in and not go over the cliff. Each day you pull the rope further up and gain ground. We ALL are on your rope helping yopu fight and pulling for you and trying to lighten your load. I hope this makes sense to you? I used this analogy myself and decided I was NEVER gonna stops pulling until I won the war and not just the battle. YOU CAN SO DO THIS LANA!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kim715]

Congrats on day 2 hon,thats great!!!!! You still have a little way to go,but the good news is that you are now 2 days closer to having your life back.This is rough and many of us believe that the mental part is much harder then the physical.You're not alone though.We're here for you.Have you gotten involved with any type of recovery care yet?

[NoMoMeth4me]

Lana,
Can you ask your Dr for something for the depression? They had to put me on Effexor fot the depression and it really seemed to help me. You could also ask for something to help (short term) for anxiety and sleeping. I know for me the insomnia was by far the worst thing I dealt with for three full weeks. Thought I was going out of my mind for sure a couple of times. Take each day as a victory and understand that with each passing day, you are one step closer to reaching your goal. Stay strong, keep posting as you are, I'm sure you will get the much needed support you need. Feel free to contact me anytime you feel the need. I'm more than willing to help in way I can.
Blessings to you.
Brian.

[lana_lynn20]

I am on day 2 but I have suffered from major depression in the past...I tapered from 160-220mg a day to 80 mg then quit.

I just need encouragement not to relapse again

[kim715]

Hi Lana....What day are you on and how much were you using?