Aa
I need help.. I want to get better for my kids
I need so much help rite now. I'm currently addicted to codeine about 80mg a day habbit and roxys when I can find them. I don't know how my life ended up this way.. Every day I wake up and I have to take another pill and worry if I have enough or where in going to get the next batch from. I'm so depressed at this point I don't even want to take the pills I just feel like I have to so I can feel normal. I have three beautiful wonderful loving kids. They are my whole world and I would go to Hell and back to make sure they are safe and sound. And I have a wonderful husband who would and does do anything for me. I don't even know where to begin... My husband doesn't know about my addiction and I couldn't bare to tell him. I can't put up with the horrible wihdraws I have three kids I take care of all day I am a stay at home mom. How can I face this?? I want these pills out of my life I forget how how it feels to be normal!! I'm so scared to detox .. I know I can't hide withdraws.. Please help me I'm desprate and I want my life back for over 4 years not a day has gone by where I havnt taken something for pain. Any advise will help thank you for listening.
Hi mommy! First, congrats on wanting to get your life back! Second, welcome to this amazing forum. I'm 24 days clean from pain pills. I couldn't have done it without my angels on here. I am also a stay at home mommy. My son is a beautiful, healthy 19 month old baby. I had to detox/ go through withdrawals while watching him. Before I went cold turkey, flushed my pills, I told my husband and family that I became addicted to my pain pills. We all had a heart to heart and cried. My hubby and family are my biggest support. I really think you should talk to ur husband. You can't do this alone. We are here for you but, you need someone physically to be there for you. After the first week of detox, look into aftercare AA/NA, church, whatever- you need to really want this. If you need anything, please let me know. Good luck and god bless
I just don't understand how I got here. I never imagined I could get addicted to pills it never crossed my mind until years after starting I realized I was taking a lot more and felt worse then when I first started taking them for Arthritusad scoliosus. I feel so alone rite now. I feel like a failure and like I let my whole family down. I want to remember what it feels like to be clean and sober. I am only 25 but from what I remember when I first started taking these pills 4 years ago my pain wasnt horrible but now from all these pills my body feels like its about 80. But not from my condition from my dependancy on these stupid pills. The one thing I want more then anything is to be here for my kids and be healthy and not be foggy all day and not remember all good memories we will have together. Should I taper down or should I just quit cold turkey.. Is that safe?
"I feel so alone rite now. I feel like a failure and like I let my whole family down."
Your definitely not alone. AND...your not a failure nor have you let your family down. At this point though....now that you have realized and admitted your addiction...you need to do something about it ASAP. If you continue on in your addiction...you may very well be letting your family down in the future.
If you have access to a doc, ask whether a taper or cold turkey would be best in your situation. See...nobody here knows your full medical history and even if we did....were not docs so it wouldn't make a difference. Many have been successful both routes though. You just have to find the safest most efficient for you. (That involves your husband)
Your definitely not alone. AND...your not a failure nor have you let your family down. At this point though....now that you have realized and admitted your addiction...you need to do something about it ASAP. If you continue on in your addiction...you may very well be letting your family down in the future.
If you have access to a doc, ask whether a taper or cold turkey would be best in your situation. See...nobody here knows your full medical history and even if we did....were not docs so it wouldn't make a difference. Many have been successful both routes though. You just have to find the safest most efficient for you. (That involves your husband)
I love my husband the problem I'm scared about is my mom is addicted to pain Medacine and is open about it and my husband doesn't understand her and thinks it would be so east to just quit. That's why I have stayed in the dark about this for so long. I'm not as bad off as my mom is but a addiction is a addiction no matter how bad it is. I want to be open with him but I'm so scared that he won't understand. And my family looks at me and admires me fir being such a great mom that I don't want to change there perception of me. I can't handle the guilt anymore I want so bad to just go back in time and refuse pain management.
Welcome to the forum! Understanding addiction might help...it sure did explain a lot to me. Sounds like it might benefit you, your hubby and your Mom to gain some more understanding of what makes an addict different from a non-addict. I'll put two links down below that helped me TONS....the hbo site has 6 tabs at the top that drop down and give you valuable info as well as some short videos you can watch on the r.h. side.
The other link is to a video by a doctor...who became addicted....lost his job as a flight surgeon in the military and spent time in prison. He has devoted his life to helping others understand addiction. Here ya go...hope these may help:
http://www.hbo.com/addiction/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hz6-2NwRzE
The other link is to a video by a doctor...who became addicted....lost his job as a flight surgeon in the military and spent time in prison. He has devoted his life to helping others understand addiction. Here ya go...hope these may help:
http://www.hbo.com/addiction/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hz6-2NwRzE
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I KNOW because I did it for over 15 years. I will bring up the post I wrote this past Saturday titled Children vs. Addiction. Read the post and the responses from other parents.
You are scared of the detox; can't tell your husband, on and on. These are all just excuses not to do what you know has to be done. Your head is in control; you are letting your addict mind run and ruin your life.
You will get more help; other's will be along. But for now this is the what I can offer you...One day you'll wake up and your kids will be gone; out of the house, married, off to college, whatever. And all the years that you put your pills ahead of them will flood back and break your heart. And you can never get that time back. So I urge you, please stop. Don't waste another minute.
You've danced with the devil so pay him his due and move on. For your children.
K