I need some help if you have time to read

Question

I have been on the suboxone for a few weeks. I was told last week I could go back on the Norco due to the severe pain I was in. Somedays the pain is so bad I just cry and cry, because no matter what I do it won't get better. I know I have more surgeries ahead of me to finish fixing the problem. Anyway the Suboxone Dr said it was ok. I filled the script and I did take a few. I was so overwhelmed with guilt I went right back on the suboxone and gave the bottle to my boyfriend to keep me away from it. I am so confused, I know I will abuse them unless I am watched like a freakin 2 yr old, but somedays it is so painful. That is problem #1. Problem 2 is keepin me up just as much if not more than #1. I went to the suboxone Dr the first 3 visits and visit 1 and 2 felt VERY wrong with the way he examined me. But I know some Drs are a bit more "touchy" than others and was not too sure what to think of the way he checked my lungs and "chest". I had NEVER ever had a Dr exam me like that. When I went back the 3rd time things became very clear on his exam of me. I was firm after I realized what the heck he was doing. My problem is that I have no other options where I live, there is no other Drs around that can write for Suboxone. I know this is so bizarre and I am even more confused and upset over it all. To top things off after I top my boyfriend what had happened we looked him up online and he was charged in the 80's and again in the 90's with sexual abuse. Oh, I really don't know what to do. To look at the surface it looks like an easy answer, but think about it before you respond and put yourself in my shoes. But god that Dr gives me the heebee geebees. Thanks guys for reading this. And you are all so great 
Christy

fishmeal · Answer

As far as the doc is concerned, take your boyfriend in with you and be very upfront about the fact that you do not want him to touch you in any way, if you have to go back to him. As far as the norcos, you probably wont even feel them at all if you took the sub for a while... not sure on all of the logistics but the subs do have a pain relieving quality. If you can get them stay on those if you can. The website just above is a great one... go check it out please. Best

lurker · Answer

Wow - I'm so very sorry that this is happening to you.  I had a great sub doctor and know how critically important the Sub was to my getting clean.  I would recommend that you NOT go into the exam room alone with him ever again.  He can't say no to a friend or family member accompanying you.  Start looking for other options right away.  You can try going to naabt.org and looking for another doctor = they have a great database and Nancy there is really helpful. You don't say what type of  pain you are having but let me tell you this.  Having an addiction is an illness.  You shouldn't be ashamed that someone has to "watch over you like a 2 year old" with the Norco; rather be proud that you recognize you have a problem and have admitted it and are getting help.
Hang in there and I pray you'll keep getting your Sub without any further personal violations.  NOBODY deserves that....best wishes.