I'M ADDICTED TO PAIN KILLERS

[georgiaboy91]

Hi i am new to this site and i have never been open with anyone about my addiction before. i have been abusing pain killers for the past two years and i want to stop. I have been take almost 30mg to 90mg of roxicodone (oxicodone hydrochoride?)  a day for a long time now and i dont have the strength to stop or know whag im in for when i try to stop. can anyone help me?

[brokenspiritandsoul]

Honey, we can help you help yourself!  You just took the first step of getting clean by reaching out and admitting you have a problem!  Takes courage to admit that!  I am 15 days clean from a 20 a day Norco habit!  I couldn't taper cuz if I had them than I took them, so cold turkey it was!  The first 3 days were He!! but doable!  You will get lots of advise on how to handle all the symptoms that you will experience!  The best advise I got was to breathe!  Have you tried quitting before?  Do you have any health issues?  Do you take any other meds?  Do you have people around you that will support you?  This site saved my life and it can do the same for you!

[georgiaboy91]

I dont want anyone to know but i have only stopped one time before for 2 days and my headaches were hell.

[brokenspiritandsoul]

I understand mot wanting anyone to know but our secrets help fuel our addiction. We all kinda go by 3 S's - Sources (cut all your sources) Secrets (tell our secrets to our friends, loved ones and doctors to hold us accountable) and Support (AA, NA, Recovery Group..etc).  Do you have health issues or take any other meds?  Were you taking these prescribed for pain?  Is their anyone you can trust to talk to?  

[georgiaboy91]

It was all for fun untill it turned into a problem and i dont trust to talk to anyone in my personal life

[brokenspiritandsoul]

I understand how quickly it can become a problem!  Are you wanting to taper or cold turkey?  You will have to cut out your dealer in order to not relapse. Is a headache the only withdrawal symptom that you get?

[georgiaboy91]

I use to sell so i know way to many sources and deals i dont know how to stop and so many people call me everyday looking for them . i dont know how to stop

[mommymarieme]

That is tough why don't you change your number and delete all of your sources? If you don't you will just end up staying on the merry go round.  

[brokenspiritandsoul]

I agree with Mommymarie!  It will be almost impossible to quit when people are calling you looking or that have them. I didnt say impossible cuz you might be the one who can do it!  Can you change your number so you don't have to get those phone calls?  Do you think you can quit when you are in the middle of the deals?

[georgiaboy91]

Well the thing about that is when i was selling i never saved numbers i memorized them  in case my phone was ever stolen so i have almost 100 numbers in my head of people selling and wanting pain killers. i just nees to know what the withdrawals are gonna be like so i know what im in for. I wanna stop for my daughter so i can be around to watch her grow up but my addiction is so strong

[brokenspiritandsoul]

How much were you taking a day and for how long?  You said the headaches were bad...is that the only symptom you had when you quit for 2 days?

[JVegas50]

Georgia...  I wish a headache was the only symtom that you get from opiate detox. I do not want it discourage you in anyway but I also want you to be mentally prepared otherwise you will not have chance at beating the detox. You are going to have a lot of anxiety, skin crawling and cold sweats. You will be using the bathroom a lot... get some immoduim for your stomach . You will not be able to sleep well. The worst part for me is my legs... restless legs.  They throb and throb.. at night they do not stop moving. Again, this is to get you prepared.  You will find a ton of support on this site and u will find a bunch of things you can do to ease the symtoms.  Can you take time off of work??    I was taking about 12 30mg Roxys per day, so trust me.. I know how u feel right now.  You feel trapped, you feel like you need them to function etc. I also did not have anyone in my life that knew about the addiction.   I also personal messaged you.

[brokenspiritandsoul]

Thanks Vegas!  I was trying to respond but kind of felt like I was in a little over my head!  Didn't want to pit symptoms where there might not be and wasn't sure if the roxy was the same withdrawal as Norco!  

[JVegas50]

I know people say Oxy is worse then Hydrocodone\Norco.  But Ive actaully went through both of them and for me they were exactly the same.  They are both horrible and all of the same symtoms.

[vicki595]

Instead of listing all the possible symptoms of withdrawal, why don't you let us know what you're feeling or haven't you stopped yet?

Also, you need to take yourself out of the game now...it's too much to do this with THAT going on...

[VICourageous]

I agree with vicki..What are you feeling right now??..As far as the aftercare, in order to stay clean you will have to stay away from people, places and things that can cause triggers..This is a very serious brain disease and it will play that tape back over and over to use for any excuse in the world..We can help you out a bit with the w/ds but it takes LOTS of work to keep in RECOVERY!!!!

[georgiaboy91]

I havent stopped yet... i took two 30s today already

[VICourageous]

So you took 60mg today?? I am so sorry to say but you might have to just c/t and get it done..You said you can not tell anybody, but this is so important..If you could find someone you trust they could help you taper..If we have them in our hands we are doomed. I got my Methadone down to 30mg and jumped the boat with Adderall I was getting off the streets, and a Klon at night..I did this a little over a year ago and I was 56..Long time user too..SO it can be done. LOTS of us could not taper. WE are here and can help you out a bit with the things we used or still use to this day. Make sure you keep drinking lots of water...If if want to do it..we are here..OK?
Bless

[georgiaboy91]

Well yea i had them on me and i want to quit so i just took them anyway i guess to feel like i was going out with a bang, which is dumb now thinking about it. are you guys going to be on here tomorrow? because i really feel like i need someone to talk to while im going through it to keep my mind off of it and to learn tricks to make the withdrawal pain go away, but as of right now i dont have anymore on me or at home.

[georgiaboy91]

what is c/t?

[VICourageous]

c/t is cold turkey..You know just STOP!!! We will be here..There are people from all around the World on here and we come and go in waves. We are here..Yes we will assist you all the way..We will be Cheering for you too! You came to a great place. Just remember how to get back here..OK!

[brokenspiritandsoul]

CT is cold turkey. There is usually someone online almost all the time. Sometimes are slower than others. Post your symptoms as you get them and everyone will help you on how to ease them. I have to say that if you dont cut your sources then you will find some when the withdrawal gets rough!  It isnt easy but it is doable!  You have to be ready to fight for your life!

[ricart70]

Cold tukey is stopping abruptly.  (ct)

[georgiaboy91]

well i know for a fact that tomorrow when i wake up im going to have an EXTREME urge to go get some pills, and i usually just make a call and go grab some before work or before w/e im going to do, do any of you have any suggestion for me to make me take my mind off of it, because after that first phase, im not sure what feelings are gonna come after or if im gonna start sweating or w/e else kind of symptoms you can have from withdrawal. i guess i can post on here tomorrow after i make it to work. that is if i dont get any before work. :( i feel hopeless