I'M STRUGGLIN' RIGHT NOW!

[BenHawk]

Well, I've been totally clean from norco (hydro 10/325) for 12 days! I feel great! I tapered down from 15/day to none in about a month and a half...

Now, here's my problem.
I'm an athlete.
I play soccer.
Well, I had a game today and got injured pretty badly.
I haven't been to the doctor yet...I plan on going tomorrow as soon as he can get me in...
I pulled/tore my left quad and took a knee to knee hit to my left knee.
I'm not only having a great deal of difficulty walking, but the slightest movement even while at rest is sending me through the roof.

I still have some pills and haven't really craved for them at all. In fact, I'm afraid to take one now. I know that it will help me sleep and relax, but I'm afraid that it'll set me back.
Again, I haven't taken a pill for 12 days. I've been pretty wd free except for some anxiety.

I know that this decision is ultimately mine, but I'm struggling because of what I went through. Now that I really do need to pills, I'm fighting myself. I'm not so much afraid that it'll make me want more...I'm more afraid of feeling physically/mentally ill afterward. And, there's still this physical pain to deal with...

AAAHHH!!!
I really don't know what to do.
I'm going to go take a shower now.
I guess I'll just see how I feel afterward...

;-)

[worried878]

agree with r2r..congratulate urself on doing so well so far..one day at a time..i still will never ever recommend keeping them in the same house with u..or anywhere with easy acess..i just truly think it is asking for failure...but u know u  and u know ur boundaries..just be sure and keep ur boundaries strong

[road2recovery]

I agree that this is the part i hate about addiction...When we are going to be in real pain again...ERRRRRRR...  Be so proud of yourself for not taking one, especially having them there...I don't know if i could of done that on day 13...

Now months after my detox, I did have really bad pain with gallbladder...For some reason when i took them they did not make me high or crave...Could just be a coinsidence, but it seems like when we are in real pain and take them it works different, maybe it was just me....

I hope your doctor appt went well and wish you luck...
r2r

[enemy48]

Get some muscle relaxers.

Or get darvocet.....something that you really don't enjoy doing! :-)

[BenHawk]

Believe me, I know I'll live without em.
The pain won't kill me! But, it sure is making things difficult.
Again, I'm going to the doc today so I'll find out more about the injury and the severity.
I'm holding off until I talk to him...

Being only 13 days, I was worried about taking a couple pills for a couple days and then feeling physical wd symptoms afterward.
That part of it scares me.
And, the mental is no cake walk either. Actually, I find that worse! I found that my physical wds were often brought on by the mental part.

So, I'm still debating...

[worried878]

agree..try every avenue..keeping pills around can make it very tough on a person who is trying to quit..ur brain can play all kinds of trix on u...the odds of u making it theu the injury and not using would be greater if u did not have them with u..be safe..and try to keep moving forward

[BenHawk]

Thanks guys...
I DID NOT take one last night, but I kind of wish I did.
I only slept in about 30 minute chunks...
And, today at work has been hell so far.
I am calling the doc as soon as he opens this morning.

I did take an ibuprofen 800 last night which didn't do a damn thing.

I'm going to go to the doc today and see what he says.

And Ella, that's exactly how I feel. I tapered over a month and a half period. EVERY time I took a pill, I knew that I could do it! I knew that every taper proved to me that I didn't need the pills.
But, today I do...
;-)

Thanks again guys...

[Ella789]

If you are in severe pain tonight, then I would take one and be done with the pain,  you were strong enough to make it this far and you know "in your mind" is where the battle is now!  So do what you have to do and deal with it the best you can.  That's what I would do.  Follow your heart.
Hope you're better soon :)

Ella

[Allicat0117]

That's what ***** about being an addict....when you really need the pills it is hard to decide whether ti take them or not. Congrats on your 12 days! On the other hand..since it has only been 12 days Im sure if you take just one you will be back at square one. Its up to you though and how much pain your in. I would try ibuprofen and ice packs. Just my opinion. Good luck and stay strong.

[avisg]

I would try everything you can before you take a pain pill .This early in recovery might cause a full blown relapse .Talk to your doctor about non narcotic choices in the am.