Can't take this Anymore

[Jewels110]

I started taking Vicodin about 6 years ago.  I took the 5/500mg for 2 years and took between  1 to 2 a day at that time.  On year 3 I was still taking 2 of them.  The increase came about 2 years ago. I started taking 4 of the 5/500mg a day.  I couldn't believe I could not go one day without one of these nasty pills.  I knew I was addicted and I'm an alcoholic. I haven't drank in 2 years. Now my pain management Dr. has me on 3 vicodin ES a day and I usually take 4.  The longest I've been without them is one week and then I caved and went back cuz I liked them for the energy.  I am at the point where I really need to get and stay clean for good. I hate this cycle everyday.  Can someone help me get started and tell me how bad you think my wd's will be.  I know I need support and I go to AA but my sponsor don't know that im actually addicted to pills.  Please help!! I know It is time to stop.

[Jewels110]

Thanks all of you.  I guess it's time to talk with my sponsor and let her know what's up. I know I have to get honest or I will just get worse on this track im on.  I will keep posting and let you all know how things are going and im sure I'll need the support in trying to get clean and stay clean.I just have to make it through the wd's cuz I still have to work. I want to do this baaaad.

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  I also think that you should get honest. You will get the most benefit that way. It's hard, but I think you know that we are right??  

There are ways to get thru the physical Wds. You'll probably be feeling ok by day 4.....at least thru the worst part!  There are OTC remedies and just tricks of the trade that we can help you with!  

So, stay and hang out with us!

[CATUF]

i'm with ibk . . . it's time to get honest.  

to me, aa's not about not drinking or using, it's about how to live once we quit drinking and using.  aa calls upon us to grasp and develope "a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty."

but look at how amazingly honest you already are.  it would be very easy to lie to yourself and say "i'm only taking 4 a day . . . that's less than the '1 every 4 to 6 hours' that many people take with pain like i have."  

instead, you're seeing the problem and you've honestly admitted it to yourself.  that's the hard part, the rest is easy.

CATUF
2034

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

I think your first step is to get honest with your sponsor. You would get a lot more out of the fellowship, the steps and her if you were honest. You know that our secrets keep us sick.

Do you really need them anymore for pain or do you like the high? that is something you need to get with yourself about. If you just like the feeling, then you will have to cut off your supply, i.e. your doctor.

You can go ct off of them and will be uncomfortable for 4 or 5 days. That will take care of the physical. Then the mental will start and since you already attend meetings, that is a good place to work on yourself and how you are going to STAY clean.

If you decide to go ct, let us know and we can support you through this. I hope you stick around.