I'm trying so hard...I really am...

[Sweetness91]

This is getting so hard! I haven't taken any of the Tylenol 3's yet but I'm getting close. I went and got regular Sudafed hoping that would help and its not helping yet. Thinking maybe I need to take it for a full day and see if it helps before I give in to the T-3's....idk. It really stinks that I can't eat something that I really want or something that even sounds good at this point! I did put some donut holes in the microwave and got them super soft and managed to eat them practically w/o chewing them up so at least I did get something in my belly today but I'm still hungry darn it!

And I didn't hear from the dentist today about an appt for seeing if they can make the obturator. They said I would hear from them today :( I tried to call them and they evidently must've closed early or something. Grrr.

Maybe I'm being too stubborn about not taking the T-3's. Even though it was methadone that I was on, and these are sooo much weaker, I still feel like it would be a relapse, whether its needed or not. Ohhhh what do I do??? What do y'all think?

[Sweetness91]

Vickie I think you may be completely and totally right! I took the darn Sudafed and have laid here for the last 3 hours tossing and turning. It's got me wide awake and I'm still hurting :( Soooo....I'm leaning more n more towards taking one. Thing is....I would have to wake the hubby up for the key to the safe since he has the only one and its put away. I didn't even want to know where the key was so I wouldn't just grab one in a moment of temptation. He has to get up at 5:15 so for work so if I'm not snoozing in an hour n a half, I think I'm gonna take one. It's almost 4 now and I need some sleep...it's starting to make my head hurt worse I think cause I'm getting so darn mad. Lol.

[VICourageous]

Sweetness, Sweetness.....This is my story and I am sticking to it...Its OK..Now as you know I go to na/aa but some things I do not share because it is my life and they have theres. I share all my secrets with my husband and mom..and sponsor...Now when I first took hydro I had sugery I took them right and I was done..NO w/d. Then a bit later I needed them again I was OK then a client of mine was giving me some of his oxys for my pain plus my hydro, well I tried one week to get off and ran back to the drug. From there it was the methedone BUZZ. for 12yrs. ANYWAY many, many months ago I could not take the pain in my back soooo I took 1 hydo 7.5 and it took the pain away and did not get me wired up. So for me it did not trigger my addiction. I am aware if I get the BUZZ i will play the tape back and it could be bad...Now do not get me wrong I MUST stay away from these drugs because it could happen. But I think that if you need it for now I do think you will have self control and it works for the pain. I found out by useing when you are in real real pain the drugs do not get you up and going. I used alot of excuses when I was not in that bad of pain because I wanted to get BUZZed and work  @ work and do my gardens, wood, shovel snow on & on very compulsive behavior....I have not had a drink in 8 yrs but when I drink it was a complete different reason like depressed. The pills were for going....going....I only took that pill one time only back in sept when I came c/t from the methedone. SOO I think you will be OK because that is not our drug of choice but be careful. You should be more tuned in to see when you are likeing it and you start to get out-of control..BUT you do not have to suffer right now.....
GOD BLESS YOU do not beat your self up you are in PAIN....
vickie

[Sweetness91]

Oh I have HOT FUDGE!! Even better right? Lol. And I will definitely enjoy it. I swear I was addicted to ice cream at one time. I had to have it every night or I felt like I was missing out on something grand. Lol! Once I quit managing the steakhouse I didn't drive by the United Dairy Farmers every night and you'd have thought my world was crashing down. So yep...this ice cream is gonna be my savior tonight :)

[vicki595]

Yes...I get the picture...you explained it very well.  You need that device in your mouth...yesterday!!  Poor baby!

I hope you have chocolate sauce to go with that ice cream!

[YesLife4Me]

Well I hope you get some rest and reprieve tonight.   Enjoy your milkshake!  

[Sweetness91]

Yeslife4me...you are too funny!! I think I'm going to take a couple more doses of the Sudafed tonight and see how that goes...then if it doesn't improve, I might take the T-3 in the morning. Mornings are always bad because I've been laying all nite and it seems like my sinuses get really congested when I lay down. I've been sleeping in the recliner for a few hours each nite until my back can't handle it any longer then go to sleep in the bed. Too bad the recliner isn't more comfortable. Lol.