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Its That Time! November 2014 Roll Call!!
Yes, its that time for our monthly roll call. Every month less and less people sign it and check in. We used to have 80+ posts and now were down to half that. It seems like there's less traffic on the site...maybe there's less people that need to get clean...less people using. If that's the case, then good.
So, post your clean time or just introduce yourself. You dont have to be clean to post on the roll call. Lurkers are encouraged and welcomed! We want to meet and hear from you. So if your thinking about getting clean or have been clean for a billion years, we'd love to hear about it. Please share! Spread the message of hope!
Oh, and by the way...its my 37th birthday!
So, post your clean time or just introduce yourself. You dont have to be clean to post on the roll call. Lurkers are encouraged and welcomed! We want to meet and hear from you. So if your thinking about getting clean or have been clean for a billion years, we'd love to hear about it. Please share! Spread the message of hope!
Oh, and by the way...its my 37th birthday!
Happy birthday!! Today is 9months drug and alcohol free!!! Cant believe i made it!!!
858 days off street methadone.
It is getting easier and better as time passes.
It is getting easier and better as time passes.
285 days here. At the beginning of detox I could never imagine the difference in my life. Ive had to get real with myself and quit listening to the addict brain. At first this was so difficult but everytime I change my thinking the insistance of the addict brain gets less intensive. I now know I must keep my guard up and keep checking myself for the rest of my life but thats okay cause I do have a life now and its pretty good and worth protecting. So if you are new keep fighting you are worth it!
Thanks abn for post and HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
Thanks abn for post and HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
Today is 37 for me. Still not feeling 100%. Good days, then bad days. Last 2 nights, very little sleep punctuated by nightmares. Tummy troubles still pretty bad, but I had them before the opiates so they're to be expected.
I wasn't living my real life on oxycodone. Everything was smoothed out; I was numb, pain-free, and not aware AT ALL of what the REAL STATE OF MY HEALTH was. It scares me to think of it now. I know that I MUST take better care of my body than I was on opiates.
The scariest thing for me is that I realized I cannot continue in my career without pain pills. I've been in cold-call commission only sales for 15 years, and everyone I know who does it takes pain pills. You HAVE to take pain pills to punish your body, mind and spirit with this type of work---it's downright abusive. I cannot believe what I have put myself through! No one cares what you do to yourself as long as you Win-Win-Win! It's all "work hard-play hard!" and "those who die with the most toys WINS!"
Insanity, pure insanity. I see that now. All the vacations I won (I sell insurance; the big corporations love to send their top sales people to the Caribbean every year so they can get drunk out of their minds and pretend they aren't on their way to a major heart attack or stroke.) The good old boys club. The 80 hour workweeks. Good is NEVER good enough. You hit one bar and they move it up even higher.
No more. I cannot do this to myself or my body. I'm over 50 now. Started in my late 30's and didn't notice how bad it was...then 8 years ago, got put on oxycodone for severe muscle spasm in my back, spinal issues constochondritis (gee I wonder why? I'm only typing on a laptop 10 hours a day, writing policies and filling out ENDLESS sales projections so the big execs at the top can drool over what new car they will buy the next fiscal quarter.)
My body was trying to tell me something and the pills told it to SHUT UP. They created a false sense of myself. I feel like I'm just beginning to find out who I am.
Sorry this is so long. This is still very, very hard. I do not consider myself an addict, but I DEFINITELY had a dependency, a hard one. I jumped after weaning myself down to 10 mgs of oxycodone a day, and it was one of the worst experiences of my LIFE. As I said, I'm a million times better than I was that first 10 days, but I still do not feel good. I attend meetings on line, talk to others, and I will never put a narcotic in my body again unless there is literally NO OTHER CHOICE (ex. if I was in a major car accident and needed life-saving surgery.)
This is a journey, and I'm KICKING myself for waiting so long to start it. If I only had my life to do over again. But...can't go back, must move forward.
Thank you, MH. I could not have done this without the support of folks on here. You have been my lifeline for the past 37 days. Blessings,
Robin
I wasn't living my real life on oxycodone. Everything was smoothed out; I was numb, pain-free, and not aware AT ALL of what the REAL STATE OF MY HEALTH was. It scares me to think of it now. I know that I MUST take better care of my body than I was on opiates.
The scariest thing for me is that I realized I cannot continue in my career without pain pills. I've been in cold-call commission only sales for 15 years, and everyone I know who does it takes pain pills. You HAVE to take pain pills to punish your body, mind and spirit with this type of work---it's downright abusive. I cannot believe what I have put myself through! No one cares what you do to yourself as long as you Win-Win-Win! It's all "work hard-play hard!" and "those who die with the most toys WINS!"
Insanity, pure insanity. I see that now. All the vacations I won (I sell insurance; the big corporations love to send their top sales people to the Caribbean every year so they can get drunk out of their minds and pretend they aren't on their way to a major heart attack or stroke.) The good old boys club. The 80 hour workweeks. Good is NEVER good enough. You hit one bar and they move it up even higher.
No more. I cannot do this to myself or my body. I'm over 50 now. Started in my late 30's and didn't notice how bad it was...then 8 years ago, got put on oxycodone for severe muscle spasm in my back, spinal issues constochondritis (gee I wonder why? I'm only typing on a laptop 10 hours a day, writing policies and filling out ENDLESS sales projections so the big execs at the top can drool over what new car they will buy the next fiscal quarter.)
My body was trying to tell me something and the pills told it to SHUT UP. They created a false sense of myself. I feel like I'm just beginning to find out who I am.
Sorry this is so long. This is still very, very hard. I do not consider myself an addict, but I DEFINITELY had a dependency, a hard one. I jumped after weaning myself down to 10 mgs of oxycodone a day, and it was one of the worst experiences of my LIFE. As I said, I'm a million times better than I was that first 10 days, but I still do not feel good. I attend meetings on line, talk to others, and I will never put a narcotic in my body again unless there is literally NO OTHER CHOICE (ex. if I was in a major car accident and needed life-saving surgery.)
This is a journey, and I'm KICKING myself for waiting so long to start it. If I only had my life to do over again. But...can't go back, must move forward.
Thank you, MH. I could not have done this without the support of folks on here. You have been my lifeline for the past 37 days. Blessings,
Robin
Wowzers!! Grats everybody! 434 days.........I still keep count, lol learning something new everyday. love hugs hope and peace to you all! xo
i have ......60 days!!!! and i have NEVER been so proud of myself!!!!
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