Just For Today~~~~

[dominosarah]

We say on here alot that getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard part.  This addiction is VERY mental.  That is why we stress so much aftercare.  There is no geographical cure, no running the other way.  We have to face our demons head on and deal with them no matter how bad they hurt.  We learn the tools to get thru the bad times, cravings and even the good times.  Many of us used most of our lives and we only knew one way and that was to numb ourselves up.  Recovery is a slow process, not always easy as we have to learn patience cuz as addicts we were used to that "instant gratification".  We start to feel things and it is foreign to us.  We dont understand why we are crying one minute and yelling the next.  The drugs numbed us.  We feel like we are losing it but in reality it is a good thing.  We ARE feeling emotions.  Dont fight these, let them happen.  You all have it in you to get and stay clean.  Make YOU the No.1 priority and do whatever it takes to protect your clean time.  Make it the most sacred thing you have.  Be good to yourself~~~~sara

[ang_811]

I was that person that thougt that way. Nothing was happening and I was waiting fo changes to happen. I'm came to realize over the weekend that I'm the 1 that has 2 make the changes n my life. Wow what a difference. With sun work I can easily stay clean and enjoy my life sober once again.

[dominosarah]

As i read thru some of the posts today i keep getting the same feeling about things.  I think for some they feel that once they stop the pills this addiction is done.  I was one of them that felt this way.  It is only the beginning.......Recovery is a life changing process.  Educate yourself on this addiction and surround yourself with supportive people.  Life will continue and will not change around you, you have to be willing to make the changes yourself and learn to live life on lifes terms.        sara

[Htownnofrown]

Im going through a rough breakup right now but I am greatful thaat I don't have to use over it! 16 months ago I would have destroyed myself over this but, just for today, I have clean friends and a higher power that are getting me through this.

[dominosarah]

Hope everyone is doing good today~~~~

[Back2Reality]

Such encouraging posts from all of you.  Thank you so much.  It all helps!

[Punkinhead75]

Thanks for the post sara!!!!!  I really like what you said in one of the later posts.  "Using is only a symptom of what is going on with us."  That is so very true for me.  I was told that I suffer from a spiritual malady.  I had no idea what that meant.  I thought my problem was drugs and alcohol.  Truth is I used that stuff to cover the pain I was feeling inside.  Thanks God there is a way to feel better that doesn't involve drinking and drugging!!!!!

[ang_811]

This post is very encouraging!!!! I highyly agree that getting clean is the easy part and staying clean is the hard part! Didn't think that n the beginning but after every thing I've been thru n the past month Im living proof that it's a mental battle! Always have to keep ur guard up!!! Know that now. ( Ty Sara ) It easier to do it just for today. Don't worry about what 2morrow brings!

Ps.... Let's go steelers!!!!!!!

[wendy111]

Feeling ok all day, no cravings feeling ok not great ok.  Day 15 the first good day mentaly since admitted I was an addict 15 days ago. It took over 20 years to admit it. I am an addict but clean and feeling good today!
I will take it

[narla]

I'm 381 days clean and still have cravings,but having aftercare helps me deal with them,I had to go to a bottle shop the other day to get milk on my way home,it was easier than going up the road to a shop,it was the first time since I quit alcohol I became so anxious when I saw a bottle of Bacardi on the shelf(my drink of choice)that I started sweating,my mouth started watering and my heart was pounding,I thought I was over it but obviously it can rear it's ugly head when you least expect it,never again,It was really frightening.

Great post Sara

Denise  

[dominosarah]

I know a remarkable woman who is 22 yrs clean off heroin and to this day she still lives with caution as she knows if she doesnt what will happen.  

[shadow740]

I was a straight A student and didn't fit the type at all, making it harder for me to reach out for help.  My degrees are in science and my job is now in public health.  I guess I am trying to put a counterweight to the people who seem IMO to downplay the chemical/physical side of it.

There is no one right way to get off and stay off drugs except the one that works for you, but...when you get off, jump back on, get off, jump back on with recidivism of less than a year then you do need to consider a medical program because there is some physical dependency that needs to be addressed.

Saving your own life is more important than saving your pride.  There is no shame in getting help if it keeps you alive long enough to figure out what your triggers are.

By no means do I mean to say that those first five years clean were easy, but I am saying that after five years you can almost--ALMOST--feel some days like it was a bad dream and disassociate yourself.  I want for all of you to be where I am now...on the other side.  I want it SO BAD for all of you.

I want it for my bf.  I want him to get to the point where he can watch Trainspotting or Blow or a movie like that and not be affected.  I want him to be able to live without caution and it can happen.  It can.

[corey411]

Great post Sarah, I have been posting for almost 3 years on here and despite what everyone told me I still thought I could do this on my own. I got 3 months a couple times and 2 months a couple times and always relapsed despite the fact that I was starting to feel happy again. I would change something everytime like telling a family member, starting NA. I couldn't accept that I had to totally come out.
They say our secrets keep us sick. This is so true. After so many defeats and being in such a dark place and planning a good way to just end it all, in desperation I told almost everyone that I am close with. I told my doctor and got an addiction specialist, started NA again and got an awesome sponcer. Not 1 person that I feared telling for all of those years was anything less than supportive. Many people in my life were relieved because they thought I was mentally ill lol. This gave me so much insight into my using because I never dreamed anyone noticed a difference in me.
Addiction is a very dark and evil force and the devil doesn't like being told on. Our addiction tells all of us to keep it's secret and stay in that dark place.
I will have 6 months in a couple days Coming out about my addiction and accepting that not only am I an addict but I have to go to any extreme to hold onto my sobriety has kept me clean and given me a strong support system to hold me accountable and stay in recovery.
For those just beginning, stay strong and hold onto the hope given by so many others who have traveled this road. It's a hard one but freedom is the prize at the other end. Get all of the support available. Fight for your life. You do come out of the dark

I think the Steelers are still tied...gotta go see:o)

Peace to all,Corey

[chronicmistake]

Thanks for the reminder.  It is easy to get excited that you are so many days clean, but the truth is I am still scared inside of screwing up the biggest accomplishment of my life.  I have done a lot of positive things in my life like going to grad school and working in an ICU, but this all means nothing if I am living a lie.  I used to say, " how can I be such a success and such a failure at the same time?"  I am going to the IOP program for sure!!!!!  I don't think this is going to be an easy fight but I am willing to do the work.  I will continue to stay on this forum as well.  You guys have kept my mind busy and have kept me distracted during my detox. THANK U!!!!

[laurel453]

Good and encouraging post, Sarah... and much needed now for me :)

[dominosarah]

Your right, there is no right or wrong way of doing it.  Each one of us has to do what works for us.  My point is for some of us we used for so many years and it takes more than just shutting out that time in our brain.  I have had to get real and personal with myself.  Forgiving and guilt is a big one for an addict.  That is why we stress the aftercare whether it be NA/AA, substance abuse counselor, minister etc.  Using is only a symptom of what is going on with us.  I am truely grateful for my life now and i am finally living life on lifes terms but at the same time i always have to remember to keep my guard up....sara

[NoMore81410]

Good inspiration Sarah Thank you for that! This is so true! We will be in recovery the rest of our lives and there will always be a time when we are weak and that's when it can strike. Stay strong and fight the good fight! The reward is your Life!!!

[shadow740]

I think that one way is to forgive yourself entirely.  when you hate yourself you give yourself an excuse to use again.  you need to learn to love yourself and realize that it is just a problem like any other one.  the mental game of your head creating addiction as a horrible monster makes it seem undefeatable.  it is not.  i don't think anyone loved drugs more than i did when i was knee deep in them--or even my lifestyle.

but now...i don't even have the urge.  i've convinced myself that other things are more enjoyable.

i have a free fun club that i started with my new friends where we think of free fun things to do and they have to be creative.  

laughing, living...just enjoying your life is the best deterrent.  also thinking...what's the worst that can happen in any circumstance.  

i dunno...no one right way of doing it, i suppose, but i do know i did it.

[dominosarah]

Addiction is life long but there are things we can do so it isnt always a battle.  Even the veterans here have to stay in the now, attend aftercare, reach out and always keep their GUARD UP......

The Raiders losing?  And that shocks you why??!!!  LOL

[gizzy32]

Good post MP. The mental part of this disease can be so tough, especially when first quitting. For me I know it's a life long battle, but one that has gotten easier with support and  admitting I am an addict. I think for many of us recovery is a process and we learn as we go. I messed up so many times, but learned a lot and take the advice from the veterans here that know what it takes to STAY clean. One is too many and a thousand is never enough.

P.S. Your raiders are losing 24-6, I hope that is not making you crave lol.

[vicki595]

Words to live by,Sara...

These days,I can't stop laughing...and when I'm not doing that I'm asleep !!

xo